SAHMs of toddlers - what do you do for company?

[AngelDog]

Anyone else struggle to get enough adult company? Or how do you manage if you get enough?

I'm at home full time with 2.7 y.o. DS. I'm a reasonable extrovert and to stay fully sane I need to have a conversation with another adult (other than DH) every day if I can. By that, I mean a conversation with a friend rather than just a conversation in a shop.

Three days a week I get good adult time at playgroups and church. I find it hard to make more opportunities to see other adults though. Other days are taken up with shopping, swimming lessons and other boring things. I find I can only manage one 'activity' a day - we are very slow at everything and I need a reasonable amount of time of time at home to keep on top of household stuff, as well as time to take DS out for some exercise. DS goes to bed late so I don't really get an evening to do things in.

DH works insanely hard for a variety of unavoidable reasons, so we don't get much time together either, which doesn't help. It also means we don't do much social stuff as a family at weekends with other families.

DS doesn't go to nursery and we're not planning to send him.

Next week will be hard work as I have a midwife appt, a doctor's appt and a HV check for DS and I need to take him swimming and go to the supermarket, all of which will take the best part of half a day but not give me any social contact. I will try to fit in a couple of visits to friends, but we just can't manage more than that.

Any suggestions?

Snap! You and I are in v similar positions. My DS is 2.5 years old, all the toddler groups are off over the summer and I'm due DC2 this month so haven't been able to take him to parks or soft play as much as usual.

One thing I do to get adult conversation is to try to arrange meet-ups with other friends who have similar aged kids, or even just meet-ups with childless friends. I've recently been dropping in more often with elderly neighbours who love seeing DS and give me a bit of chat.

I agree it is hard and can be quite lonely though :(

I live in N. Ireland, OP, whereabouts are you?

Thanks, it's always nice to know you're not alone. :)

Unfortunately I'm miles away - Herts.

DC2 is due in 3 months and I'm expecting it could be hard going. DS was a dreadful sleeper, especially in the day (wouldn't ever sleep in the pram, car, or even in the sling after about 5 months), and we didn't manage to get out to any regular groups till he was 11 months. If it takes that long with DC2, I'll be completely loopy!

We spent a week away with church last week and I was amazed at how much more energy I had, even though I slept pretty badly - I think it was just having people to hang out with each day.

Nothing. I'm not big on company though, I'm quite happy to go for days without speaking to other adults.

I really struggled with this and ended up enroling in a nighttime college course. I found the NCT a really good source of friends as well as libraries and churches.

It can be very lonely, there were days I would wake up and be dressed by 6.30 and they were the longest of all. The holidays were very very hard.

I hope you find some more interaction. I also have a great need to hear adult voices and have chats daily.

Me and DS only do one activity a day, but if it's a day where I'm unlikely to get much in the way of conversation, I try to invite someone over to us for a part of the day, that way it's not the mad dash to get organised and out of the house for 2 things in one day, but it does mean I get some company! :)

I sympathise! Hate the holidays when our toddler groups are not on. I usually manage to arrange 1 social get-together but should really force myself to arrange more (never can be bothered but then have a MUCH better day when I've had someone to meet up with). I work 2 days, DH is home 2 different days so I only have 3 to fill really but the afternoons can seem very long! Oh, and I am lucky to have my mum round the corner and I rely heavily on her!!

I definitely need to get faster at things so we can fit more into the afternoons. We have lunch after our nap, and it's often 4pm by the time we're finished - which of course is rubbish if we're trying to meet up with friends who want to be home for a 5 or 5.30 dinnertime.

I did use to go to an evening group every couple of weeks which was great, but then DH got too busy to be able to look after DS while I went out.

I'm sure I'm getting more in need of company - until a couple of years ago I was convinced I was an introvert who didn't like being around people.

On the plus side, it's raised it as a big issue for us, and we are contemplating some lifestyle changes when we move house / DH's job in the next year or so, which I think could make a big difference.

I also need DS to get better at coping with other children. I had a friend with her DS over yesterday afternoon and (as is usual for him), DS spent the whole time yelling at her son for touching his toys or coming newar him. I spent the whole time trying to calm DS down and mediate between the two children, so I didn't actually get to talk to my friend much!