can anyone recomend a baby sleep book or tell me what i'm doing wrong

[tinky19]

Ok so i've asked on here before but not really getting anywhere.
Dd is 8 mo. Up until last month she was pretty much co sleeping with us every night as she wouldnt fall asleep unless attached to my boob.
So, we're working really hard at helping her to self settle with very very limited sucess.
We've tried cc with pupd but she screams her head off and usually ends up having a big poo being changef anx being wide awake again.
We've tweeked naps, left her, (at great distress to me) for longer (5-7 mins), sung and stroked her to sleep but without fail she'll wake up 30-40 mins later and we have to start all over again. If we do the dame thing will happen - just continues through the night.
So what am i doing wrong. Is their a guru book that will make it all better!

Sadly not!
It just sounds like you and dd have different ideas of how you want to sleep. Is there a reason you need to stop cosleeping? If it's any help to know, my dd was a nightmare sleeper and we ended up cosleeping from 5 to 11 months - at which point she decided she'd rather sleep in her cot and has done since. She learned to 'self settle' at the same point. We did nothing to make this happen, it just did!

How about reading an alternative viewpoint to all the sleep training stuff.- I like Dr Sears personally, he's an attachment-parenting type - for comparison and to give some things to think about.

I think you just have to go with your instincts, as only you know your baby - forget about what other people and their babies are doing and do whatever gets you and dd the most sleep.

I would say that the no cry sleep solution is well worth a look at - very good at breastfeeding/co-sleeping issues - although some babies just take AGES to sleep well whatever you do -

I found this website incredibly useful:

www.thesleepstore.co.nz/sleep-information

We did a sleep seminar with the owner and she has a very practical approach. If you post a question on the facebook page she will reply- normally with 24 hours.

It sounds like your DD is waking after each sleep cycle and I seem to recall there is an article about that on the website.

HTH. Sometimes a small tweek can make a big difference.

Thanks for book ideas. I loved co sleeping with dd to begin with but she's such a wriggler/ kicker/ nipper now that dh and i were becoming delerious with sleep deprivation.
I think it must have something to do with her sleep cycle as she is like clockwork! Will definately check out thst article.

Sorry this is prob not what you want to hear but I have 2 ds's. The first one is 2 and despite trying every book and routine poss he ux still a terrible sleeper. His sax sleeps in with him most of the night still. Ds2 on the other hand is 3 months and despite being in no routine at all and trying nothing to get him to sleep better he has already slept thru twice and is usually only up once. I used to think sleep was fix inks but am starting to think its just luck

Sorry posting on phone, I mean dad not sax :)

I honestly just think some babies don't sleep like the books say they should/like we think all other babies sleep. DS only got better at naps once he was walking, we moved him to a sidecar crib and night weaned at 15 months - it was easy and I'm convinced it was because he was ready rather than anything special we did. He's now in his own cot by the bed and can fall asleep without being fed but doesn't always choose to. Given the choice of sleeping or playing he'd always rather play. Although one thing I would recommend is doing the sign for sleep each time you take her for a nap or go to bed, DS started to recognise he was tired and occasionally asks to sleep now. My best advice (that I have trouble following) is to do whatever works at the time. Best of luck, hope you find something that works for you :)

Be completely consistent in whatever you decide to do. I have done cc & it's not easy on you but you are just setting the rules and as long as you are totally consistent they learn what is expected. I don't know if you mean that you tried cc, singing & stroking all in the same night or over different nights but choose a method & stick to it so then it will be what your DD associates with sleep. To hear them cry or even be sick etc from crying may seem awful but as with most things if you set the rules & stick to them they really do learn what is expected! It may take many times, through the night & over the next few nights but as long as you are completely consistent she will work out that things have changed but that cc, stroking, or whatever you choose is how it will be.