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Original poster

Feeling terrible :(

7 replies

FrizzyFrazzled · 31/07/2012 05:02

I just really shouted at my son and feel dreadful. He has a cold and it is making his asthma bad, so he is grouchy and i have been coping but this mornin (is lunchtime here) he was being really difficult and i just yelled at him. Tried putting him in his room first which usually gets him to calm down but he stormed out and was shouting etc do I really yelled at him. Then I realised he was exhausted and gave him some milk and put him to sleep but feel so bad for losing my temper.
DS is 2, and I also have DD, 5 months. DH has just started a new job and is putting in long hours while he is being trained etc, and I work from home, mostly in the evenings. DH is gone most days from just before lunch til about 11pm and at the moment I feel totally overwhelmed. How do I keep my patience?? DS goes to kindly one day a week and we do playgroups, etc and he plays soccer but this week we haven't been out as much because he is poorly. I am just finding it very tough. DH is a huge help on his days off and when he has shorter shifts etc but mostly it is just me here.
I guess I just need reassurance really and advice on keeping cool and not taking tiredness out on poor ill ds!

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worryingwillow · 31/07/2012 05:09

Everyone has their limits. Yes its not ideal but don't beat yourself up.

Do you get to rest a bit in the mornings when dh is there? Can he make up lunch for you all before he leaves?

Tbh I don't have any coping strategies for when they're ill other than lots of TV!!! [Blush]

For normal days it sounds like you're doing all the right things getting out lots, socialising etc.

Just remember you don't have to be perfect, just good enough.

worryingwillow · 31/07/2012 05:11

Ps does your ds have inhalers? Does he have a preventative one? It has made an enormous difference to ds's asthma.

Original poster

FrizzyFrazzled · 31/07/2012 05:16

Thanks worrying. DH does make lunch for DS while I feed dd. TV has been a godsend while ds is sick but the poor thing is bored of tv, books, colouring etc. He will play happily with his toys etc and is really good most of the time which is why I feel so guilty. We went to the park this morning but he wanted to come home after 40 mins as he was tired and coughing. I just am so knackered!! DD is teething too so I feel like they are sleeping, crying etc in shifts so I am nonstop on the go and I am at risk of missing work deadlines this week because by 730 when they are both in bed I have been on the go for 14 hours and am too tired to concentrate on work. This too shall pass, I guess....

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Original poster

FrizzyFrazzled · 31/07/2012 05:17

Sorry x post. He does have an inhaler and Vicks on his feet works wonders too! Just whenever he gets a bug it aggravates it and makes it take longer to kick in I think.

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hambalala · 01/08/2012 20:41

Oh you poor thing. Sounds knackering. Don't feel guilty about shouting at him. It's totally normal, and it would be weird if he grew up in a world where nobody ever shouted! I've shouted at my DS before, and felt guilty. Told my mum and she just said that mums of today spend far too much time analysing everything and worrying - and I think she's right. There's nothing wrong with shouting occasionally!

I don't have that much advice except to say, tomorrow is another day. And even if you end up shouting tomorrow, that doesn't matter either. You're obviously a good and caring and considerate mum.

It's hard when you're stuck indoors. My DS of 22 months and I have started doing a lot of cooking together. Partly so I could get supper done while he was awake and relax when I put him down. I sit him on the counter (probably totally against health and safety) and he watches me chop etc - and I give him things to stir, or fruit to organise into bowls for fun, or wooden spoons. He loves it and it keeps him happy for ages.

I also work from home - and spending all day with your toddler then sitting down to work is exhausting. I guess it just pays to remember that these difficult times will ease as they get older - and I guess we just have to grin and bear it - and sometimes lose our temper and shout! But it'll be okay! xx

Original poster

FrizzyFrazzled · 02/08/2012 05:16

Hambalala, thank you! That's lovely and reassuring. Working from home is ideal in so many ways but also really tiring!

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hambalala · 02/08/2012 18:56

Funnily enough I shouted "WAIT" really loudly at my DS in Waitrose today when he was crying to get out of the trolley and I was in the middle of packing and paying...and haven't shouted at him in ages! Sod's law! I began feeling guilty then remembered my message to you!

Yes, working from home is not as easy as it sounds at all! I've got work to do tonight and all I want to do is lie on the sofa in front of the tv... sob!

Hope your day today was okay.

xxx

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