'late' potty training....

[Scarredbutnotbroken]

Are there any actual risks? Gearing up for an argument with exp.
Dd is 2.8. Potty training has always been contentious as exp thinks its a race. I was starting to think dd might be ready as she is talking about it lots and I got her s step stool and ordered her loo seat inserts. I was thinking about starting in the next week or do until this evening. Dd was naked straight out of the bath and helping me out her laundry away. I said to her 'please tell me of you want a wee' she wee'd on the carpet about 3 minutes layer and seemed totally unable to control it - I did lots of reassurance that it doesn't matter etc etc. I am of the belief that they can either control their bladder even for a short period or they can't and I'm pretty sure dd just can't yet.
I'm
Looking for reassurance and evidence if you have it that waiting a bit longer won't do her any harm.

Now, see, I'm getting this with my DD. She's 2.7 and has been way ahead with everything else.

She could do it - I know she could - but she won't. And I'm sitting on my hands and biting my tongue (and it's killing me!) and waiting till she wants to.

What good will it do to force her?

That said, if your arse of an ex is going to force her, you can either not help at all - and let him either do it for you (result!) or deal with all the messes whilst you smile serenely and knowingly or (and this is kinder to your DD) go with and try to limit the chaos.

I suspect your ex thinks - potty trained, no more mess - and to that I say only... ah ha ha ha ha ha. Wait till he's dealing with the first tummy bug without nappies!

I honestly believe that you can't 'train' them, they do it when they are ready. I tried with ds when he was 2.5 yrs and he just didn't get it, so gave up until he was over 3. He used to poo in his pants aswell as didnt like sitting down, i gave up 'going on' about it and one day he just decided to use the toilet. I wasn't even going to bother with dd until she was over 3, but she initiated it at about 2.5 and was dry by the time she was 3, ds on the other hand continued to have accidents until just before he started school at 4. Each child is different and ready at different times, no point comparing them to others or trying to force it, everyone is dry by the time they are an adult after all!

DS is just 3, we 've been training for about 2 months and its an ongoing process that I wish now we'd left for a bit. DP is very keen to continue as he has made some progress but its a big part of every day now and had we waited it might have ll been a lot easier.

Thanks for all the responses - feeling much stronger about trusting my instincts and waiting. Really appreciate all the common sense replies on here and I will save the thread for the future