I feel like my life is over.

[toptramp]

I love my dd so much but since becoming a mum I realise that I took my child free life for granted. I wasted it. I would like to achieve so many things for myself but can't as dd is 4 and I am a single mum. I guess I feel like part of me has died; the part of me that wants to take uo new sports, hobbies, go trekking across mountains and have wild romances. Instead I am sitting here whilst my dd is screaming as my dad babysat last night and let her stay up till 9pm when she was already exhausted.

TBH I am lucky he sat for me; I went to zumba. A rare treat.

Anything's possible. Another single mum here. It just takes more effort and a little creativity.... and maybe a better choice of babysitter :) They're not small for ever - even though it probably feels that way now - and there's nothing to stop you trying those new sports or hobbies now, even if mountain trekking has to go on hold for a year or two. I did a deal with a teenage neighbour to babysit one night a week, every week, so that I could keep up with a hobby... lifesaver!!!

Try to find another single mum to swap babysitting with.

In another few years you can do hobbies together.

The worst bit of child rearing is over- you've survived- it gets better from here!

Sometimes I feel a bit like that (though I'm not a single mum)... but then I think if I didn't have dd would I really be doing all those things (travel, new hobbies etc etc)? Or would I still be sitting on the sofa watching TV?

You're doing one of the hardest and most important things there is to do at the moment, try to feel proud of what you achieve as a parent. There will be plenty of time for adventure in a few years. Start small - an hour a week for a new hobby might be manageable?

I didn't waste my child-free years but like diyqueen says, it's easy to look back with rose-tinted glasses. A lot of child-free days were boring and miserable too.

Like you OP, I feel like part of me has died. I had counselling for it. What a way to use up a weekly babysitter!

Anyway I'm hoping it gets better too. In the meantime I am just working a lot, and am going to university in the autumn. Work now, play later?

Do it together, you will end up with a lovely relationship having tried new things together.
Save babysitting for when you ahve a new wild romance :)

Hi there all and thanks for the response. Trouble is I wasn't watching much Tv before dd; I was trying new sports, going out with friends, travelling to places like Thailand, being spontaneous and having lots of carefree sex.
And when I did watch TV it was something that I wanted to watch rather than Cbeebies. God I hate cbeebies but it is a babysitter at times!

I do enjoy much about dd; she is amazing but I don't really lov ebing a mum. It is so much more boring that I thought and I didn't realise my life would change so much. Quite why I have no idea; us human sare quite egocentric I rekon.

I am going to Menorca with her this summer (If my passport comes through) so I m excited about that. We are going alone and I think it will be good for us to bond.

Just watching her sleep right now; she is so perfect and beatiful. I am so lucky ; I hate feeling like thsi. I should enjoy every second but I don't. She deserves better.

I guess I do enjoy watching her sleep, cuddles, new words and watching her develop. She is amazing really.

No one enjoys every second. I'm a single mum of 6 and am finding the summer hols intolerable atm

It is hard, hands on work at the moment- it gets easier.