Has anyone given the dummy back after the dummy fairy took it? I am losing the will to live

[raininginbaltimore]

DS is 2.10. Two weeks ago he talked about giving up his dummy. Lots of friends have given it up recently. So we did the dummy fairy and he got a dinosaur toy he wanted.

I am 37 weeks pregnant and this week has been exhausting. He hasn't gone to sleep before 8.30pm-9pm all week. He just starts screaming that he doesn't want to go to bed and I spend my whole evening on the landing, returning him to bed while he wails.

I have tried teddies, the kissing game (that I read about on here), staying in his bed with him (all he does is chat and poke me, never goes to sleep). last night at 8.45pm I caved and let him into our bed where after half an hour he finally collapsed asleep.

I don't know what to do. I am exhausted. He hates me (keeps shouting that he doesn't want me), can't stand leaving him to cry it out, but going back in or putting him back winds him up again and it starts over.

Do I ride it out? Will it get better? Or do I need to give the dummy back? I am reticent to do that as surely that defeats the purpose of the dummy fairy? Someone did suggest I could write a note from her and leave one as a special treat for bed time and try again at Christmas.

ARGH. Please help

Right after another screaming fit and tears and telling me he is scared/sad/doesn't want baby etc I gave it back. Just one. His favourite. I went a wrote a quick note on same paper as fairy used before (I don't know why- he can't read).

I said that the fairy said he can have this one back just for bedtime, so he isn't sad.

I feel a bit like a failure, but in hindsight it is my fault- although he was talking about getting rid of it he wasn't ready. I'll maybe try again at Christmas.

oh bless him, i think you have done the righ thing, he is only little and if you keep it just for bedtime i think that is fine, he is going to have lots of change in the coming weeks, so not worth upsetting him now. sure he will give it up when he is ready :)

If you give it back, I bet he'll be so relieved for bedtime, that the other instances you wanted to stamp out might have resolved themselves- like after a tantrum.
Do give it back if it's causing you so much hell, but stick to using it bedtime, then when the dummy fairy pays another visit,at least you're only breaking one pattern of behaviour not several....

You are not a failure. He isn't ready and you've recognised that and adapted the plan. You may have even made progress by him accepting it only at night so you are not a failure by any means.

You are 37 weeks pregnant, exhausted and probably a little anxious about life changing with the new baby.

Cut yourself some slack, pat your self on the back for having giving it a go and fgs put your feet up for a rest this evening!

Sorry posted too soon, def right thing to do. When the moment is right, it is not too awful in the experience Ive had and friends too. Just try to stick to bedtime then it's still a big leap forward- see the cup is always half full

cant believe people are calling you cruel - blimey, you are pregnant and tired and trying to do the best for him - if you want to give it back , do so - it's fine! remember, when he is 15 this will all be a distant memory - do what it takes to stay sane!

You did the right thing- he'll give it up when he's ready. My 4yo DD1 only gave hers up at bedtime couple of months ago- we also had several dummy fairy visits! The dentist says she has perfect teeth