How to get 12 week old in a routine.

[2wwmadness]

Hello,
I am a single mum (stbxh left when ds was a week old) so I really need my son to have a routine. He is formula fed and will go roughly every 4 hours. It's the sleep/ napping thing I need to sort out, he sometimes sleeps in till 9 sometimes up at 4am, he naps when he wants. Today he's been asleep since 8Am. Yesterday he refused to nap at all. How do I get him in a routine? What routine are your babies in.
Thanks

I think it's quite difficult to get baby in to a routine at that age. Babies at 12 weeks have just about sorted out the difference between daytime/nighttime. Naps do differ...when my dd was on a growth spurt she'd kips for hours...at other times just 20mins/half an hour. Also as your baby changes and grows their napping needs will change too.

Only advice would be if baby wakes in the night, keep lights dim, don't talk, don't make eye contact so they'll know that you aren't 'fun' mummy who is worth interacting with!

My DD has finally got into something resembling a routine at around 5 months old.

Sorry forgot to add - do you have a sling? Baby might be more inclined to nap during the day if he's on you and it also leaves your hands free to get on with other stuff.

Ah ok. If its normal for him to be so erratic then I can cope with it. I was worried that it was something Im doing, I was starting to get worried that he's slept so long today. Since 8am and he's still fasto! He's 12 weeks today.
I do have a sling. I'll try it. In the nights I do try not to talk to him. Also, how often do you change their nappies in the night? That wakes him up and he starts playing (little tyke!) I don't want him to be sat in wet nappies but it's a battle every change!

Aw 12 weeks today! Congratulations. You're making me broody! slaps self round face and tells self not to be silly

During the night i only change nappy if it's a dirty one or if baby has woken up 'properly' i.e. you might as well change it then try putting them back down.

Nappies now are superabsorbant and can manage up to 12 hours. It's unlikely baby will sleep that long at the moment but it does mean you don't have to worry about a wet bum. Your son will be fine.

We've only just started falling into a routine and that's at about 6 months. Naps are still random lengths - anything from 20 mins to 2 1/2 hours with no seeming reason.

We started with bedtime routine - not strict timings, just the same activities in the same order, and DS has always been good at going to sleep (rubbish at staying asleep, but that's another matter). Only change nappy at night if it's a dirty one, wet ones we leave until morning.

Not for everyone, but when he wakes early if I put him in our bed he usually has another hour or two. Obviously we're careful but if everyone gets more sleep that's a winner.

I pay most attention to how long he's awake for before a sleep - at 12 weeks I think he could manage 1 1/2 - 2 hours before I'd try and get him to sleep. But he was very haphazard at that age and still is some days!

Some people hate routines but I loved all mine being in one and really believed it helps them sleep at night. My youngest 2 are quite close together so it saved my sanity when they napped at the same time. I used the nap times from the Gina Ford book but ignored the rest of her advice.

So awake at 7am back for a nap at 9am. Wake them up at 10am. Back down for a nap at 12 till 2. Then a nap again from 4 - 5 then bed at 7.

I didnt care where they napped - in the pram, car or in their cot but I stuck to these nap times till they were about 5 or 6 months then gradually reduced the 4 - 5pm nap till they could go without it then made their midday nap a bit later like 1 - 3pm.

Re: waking early. If it's before 6am I always put DD back down. Before 6am is still night-time in my book! If she wakes up at 6am or shortly thereafter i take her into my bed. She has never ever gone back to sleep when i do this but it means i can have another 20mins or so horizontal before i start the day!

Rather than setting a strict routine for my DS, I helped him set his own pattern. All you need to remember us the 2 hour rule - baby should be awake for no more than 2 hours before taking the next nap. It's when they stay awake for too long that they get so frustrated and overtired they can't sleep at all.

Every time baby wakes up, take a look at the clock and 90 minutes later start preparing for the next nap. I played a particular piece of music at this time and DS gradually came to associate that piece of music with feeling sleepy.

hello op - I have a 13 week old so am not particularly experienced but can tell you what I have found helpful. I agree with the poster about letting your baby find a rhythm of their own - a lot of 'routine' type books ie. gina and baby whisperer are just based on the natural rhythm of babies - at this age and for quite a few months more, they tend to start getting tired about an hour and a half after they last woke up.

so - when your baby wakes up - give a feed then watch in about an hour an a half for their tired signs, my baby starts making slightly grumpy noises and stops looking smiley....I get him to sleep in the sling but am now trying to move him to having his naps in the cot, he needs calming to do this, it takes about 20 mins if I want him to sleep in the cot...aand I often have to give him a little extra feed to calm him down, although with the sling I dont ....

then, after that sleep which is usually about an hour...feed, then again...about an hour and a half/ two hours later he tends to get tired again and usually sleeps for longer - about 2 hours...I often have him in the sling or buggy but I know that lots of people are good at getting their baby down into the cot! I find a dummy helpful but if you dont need it thats great...

dont feel you have to do any kind of routine, but I think that the two hour rule is good - and . re. waking at 4 am..I would tend to just pull my ds into bed with me to keep him asleep, to really try and make the start of the day 6 or 7am.


.I think that if your baby is regularly sleeping for very long stretches during the day then she might not have day and night sorted yet. perhaps if it keeps happening it would be worth waking her after a couple of hours to put some kind of framework into the day....

sorry..v long post but thats what has been useful to me!

Thank you. I do think he hasn't got the day/night thing sorted. I kept him up longer today ad woke him from his nap so I shall see how tonight goes! His sleeping at night seems to be getting worse!
He has been dribbling loads and eating his hands.