Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Pregnant but

8 replies

mousiemousie · 06/03/2006 18:42

My best friend is pregnant at age 39 - hurrah! Her partner is in his early 40's.

She is adamant that the baby will have to fit around their lives, and that the new baby will not be the focus of their lives, just a great "add-on"! I think she feels like this partly because she feels I have been too focused on my child (who is now 7) and not enough on myself or on the rest of my life - as if I have sacrificed too much.

But is it really possible to have a child and not really break step, just to carry on as before but with 1 extra around? Obviously my bf and her partner are very used to a child free existence and have been for a long time...are they right in thinking it is possible to have a child and carry on much as before?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SoupDragon · 06/03/2006 18:42

They are in for a nasty shock.

006 · 06/03/2006 18:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

mousiemousie · 06/03/2006 18:44

Soupie I am concerned you may be right but not sure if some people do find it as my friend thinks it will be!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

BadHair · 06/03/2006 18:54

My ex-boss and his wife carried on as before after their ds arrived. Thing is, they were filthy rich and had a humungous house, hired help and a live-in nanny. Wife spent around an hour a day with ds after she went back to work, which was when ds was 3 months. She'd already been leaving him to go to gym, parties etc. I could never work out why they'd bothered to have a child unless it was just another excuse to spend money and brag.

I guess my point is that yes, you can carry on as before, but only if you can afford full time help and have a heart like stone.

cece · 06/03/2006 18:55

oh oh are they in for a shock!!!!

MrsBigD · 06/03/2006 19:18

defo in for a shock unless of course as BadHair said they're filthy rich and don't really care for their children

I so remember always complaining that I don't have time for everything and anything I want to do... that was before kids. Now I wonder why I hadn't realised that I had oodles of spare time

beansprout · 06/03/2006 19:21

If you have lots of (hired) help I'm sure you can still go out and stuff but I still don't think it would be the same. Why have a child if you don't want your life to change?

cori · 06/03/2006 19:24

I dont know i think it is possible. Our life changed more because we moved to surburbia rather than the birth of DS. Your friend is a probably a bit scared of how 'child focused' you are. I know i had a friend that made me feel like this before DS was born. I thought I would never be able to go out for a drink, a meal,a holiday again. Simply not true. Need to have a supportive partner family, and or paid help though to maintain it.
You can have children and have a life too.

Flip