stammering since dad left

[betterdeadthanwed]

I feel so pathetic coming back and asking for more advice so soon but I'm desperate.
Since I threw dad out following his affair my son has now started to stammer. What should I do?

Ask your GP if he can be referred to a speech therapist perhaps?

Please don't feel 'pathetic' you sound like you have an awful lot to cope with.
How is your DC? Yes please ask your GP for help and have you been on the health section of MN? I have no knowledge of this except my 13 yr old DS went through a bit of a stammering phase about 2 years ago but it passed without treatment. My common sense just says make sure you give them time to speak, let them see you're listening and have quality reading time with them. I hope things get better for you both soon.

Sorry, meant to ask how OLD is your DC?

DC is 4 years old. My friends keep telling me not to worry as he is still young. I may try the doctor route.

His stammer has been really bad this week and I'm not sure how long to leave it.

Hi, I'll be interested to know too. My DD is 2.3 yrs and since the last few days has also started stammering. I had DS 1 month ago and have tried to be really carefully to include her and make her feel important. My DH has been doing a lot more for her at the moment since I had a C section and so am unable to carry her etc. the problem is that he is not very patient and ends up shouting at her alot. Poor DD is forever crying in the mornings and evenings as he hurries her along to get her ready for nursery or for bed.
I can't help feel now that the combination of a new baby and my DH shouting a lot has caused her to stammer. My DH doesn't really seem bothered that she's stammering but I'm worried and don't know what to do either.

Good idea, but yes please try not to worry too much as he will pick up on this stress from you, I know it's much easier said than done.

Here are some things to try with a child who's stammering: reduce the number of direct questions you ask them (take the pressure off); give them loads of time to speak, don't rush them or tell them to hurry up etc; maintain good eye contact with them, ie. don't look away while they're stammering; listen to what they're saying, not how they're saying it; don't finish their words/sentences for them.
It's useful to spend some time with them too each day where talking isn't required and you both feel relaxed, eg doing a puzzle together.
I'm a speech and language therapist and do think it's worth you getting a referral in both cases posted above.
This is very general advice about stammering but hope it helps in the meantime.
www.stammering.org has excellent advice and more detail.

Maybe slow life down a bit too - maybe your dc needs time to recover from change. Take some time off work or whatever and have some really easy days together - give him some choices of activities and just hang out together with as little pressure as possible and maybe he will relax a bit more

Hi, just wanted to try and reassure you as my daughter has just gone through this. She is coming up two and a half and has always been an excellent talker. About a month ago I took a week off work to potty train her and literally overnight she developed a terrible stammer. She was struggling over nearly every sentence and became very self conscious, saying things like "mummy I don't know how to talk anymore" - broke my heart. I obviously immediately panicked and called the speech and language therapy unit at the hospital. They couldn't have been less concerned! In a good way though. Basically it's very very normal, and often has a trigger but not always. Common for them to stammer over the beginning of a sentence particularly. They sent me some literature with ten pointers to help so I could hand them out to anyone who has a lot of contact with her. After about two weeks it practically disappeared overnight. She still stumbles over the odd word but nothing like what it was.
Hope this reassures you - but the Internet and your local SLT unit will be able to help further.
Good luck

Yes see your GP for a speech and language referral

My nephew developed a sudden stammer when he was young, using the techniques fivecurrentbuns lists worked for him, he no longer stammers.

I am so confused now, just had an appointment with the doctor and he just said "lots of children do that, its just part of growing up", when I ask for a referral he sort of made me feel neurotic. My son did not stammer at all during the session and my doctor said that was a good sign. He suggested we wait for a couple of months just to monitor. I did not have the confidence to disagree. The stammer itself seems to be improving. My doctor made me feel I should just ignore it.

Darling I think people appear to be being over dramatic. When my little darling starting stammering they were just talking too fast, trying to get everything out at once, I just told them to slow down and it worked a treat, within a couple of weeks they had taught themselves to slow down, no need to go rushing off to see anybody. Once they learn that its not the right way to talk they soon stop. A lot of kids just do it for attention.

My DS went through a stage of stammering about 4 too - no major life changes so please don't automatically assume this is why its happening. You have enough to deal with already, so I agree just slow things down, give him time and space to work it out without panicking and hopefully he will grow out of it. If he needs some help, again don't worry - it is very common.

You mustn't blame yourself or the situation for any of this - even if it is related, you could not have prevented what happened - only your X had the power to prevent it and he chose not to. Your reaction to make him leave was the only sensible consequence and you will be happier because of it, which will benefit DS in the long run. x

Hi again, whilst your doctor shouldn't be making you feel neurotic I can understand why they don't want to go down the referral road just yet. They will have seen children like this before who do grow out of it, so he/she is perhaps just thinking 'lets wait and see', esp if it seems to be improving. Children stammer for a variety of reasons, my DH went through a period as a child simply because he was mimicking someone else. If there is a cause you can see, perhaps the trauma at home, it would make sense to let things settle down as much as possible for him. Take care, read other peoples experiences if you can, it might help you to worry less.

I thank every body for their support and advice. The stammer seems to vary day buy day. He has a good day and I think "He must be growing out of it" and then the next morning he wakes up and its there all day on virtually every word. Does any one have any idea how long I should leave it before going back to the doctor? I do not have an appointment booked and the doctor gave me no idea how long this should take. The longest the has not stammered for is only one day. How long do I leave it before going back?

You should probably go back asap. It's true he might stop stammering on his own, but there's no harm in going to check it out. If he is stammering it's better to act sooner than later. You don't need to go to your GP for a referral though, you can probably refer yourself just by phoning the speech therapy department directly.

fivecurrantbuns, thanks so much for the support. We have had a good weekend where he has hardly stammered at all, some repeating words so I am taking this as a good sign that it is improving. I have another problem though in the fact that his dad is making out that if he is stammering it is my fault. He also says that my son never stammers when he is with him, which makes me feel anxious that I am causing the problem. I am a bit anxious that if he is not stammering with his dad that I might be causing the problem.

My son had a stammer at this age. The speech therapist recommended the Lidcombe programme and gave me some relaxation exercises to do with my son. The stammer has been gone a whole year now (he is just 8).

It sounds like he has been affected by your husband leaving so some sort of counselling might help too.

Like others have said the best thing to do is maintain eye contact when he speaks, give him time to speak and don't finish his sentences. Also, warn friends and family not comment on it and tell them to follow the above advice. You wouldn't believe the stupid things some grown ups have said to my son.

Sorry that you are going through such a tough time. Hope things get better for you soon.xxx

sounds like you've got the same GP as my friend. She was told not to worry, he'll grow out of it, but can I suggest you try the website www.thestammeringproject.co.uk and get a session with Peter via skype, my friend loves him. She recently leant me his book "Stammering... scarier than Voldemort", the book is brilliant, funny, interesting and just so readable. My friend talks about Peter to virtually everyone who will listen. Her son had a really severe stammer, pulling faces, hitting himself, was getting really frustrated. Even if you are too nervous to go against your doctor, Peter will help.

I have not posted recently for two reasons, firstly my sons stammer has not been too bad, he is not doing it as much and secondly I have been looking around the website of the stammering project. I've been doing little pro's and con's lists and I've finally decided that today is the day. I don't think I have anything to lose by visiting the stammering project. Thanks for the advice jemtalk.

Oh my god, this man is amazing. Peter at www.thestammeringproject.co.uk. He explained, how stammering starts, why 'how' your child stammers is more important than 'how often' and I though the stammer was improving it turns out the stammer is actually worse. He explained why telling a child to 'slow down' can make the stammer worse. I'm booking another session. thank you so much jemtalk