Stressed....child tax credits and moaning "friend"

[mojo1981]

Now let me just start by saying that if i could afford to pay for my childcare without having to claim tax credits i would but i cant so i have to.

Im currently doing the whole renewal thing (as are many others) and this is my first time plus my partner is now working 40 hours a week and me 38 so my DD is in childcare m-f which i hate, i want to work part time but scared about the finacial side of it as i cant get my head round tax credits!

And to top it off my "friend" has just told me her opinion of people who claim tax credits, how they shouldnt have kids they cant afford!

Well im sorry but im working my butt off in a job i hate to earn a joint income of half of whats she earns! she earns enough thats she's cant claim tax credits.

now on top of whats gonna happen money wise after the renewal is processed im feeling sh*t and angry at her!

sorry, venting, someone please tell me that i shouldnt feel guilty for claiming tax credits????

Of course you shouldn't. The system has been set up so that the government takes your money and then deigns to give some back if you can stomach filling in the relevant forms. Really, it would be better if they just didn't take it in the first place.

It's very nice for her that she does not need to claim tax credits. Also means however that she is unlikely to understand your situation.

she just sees it as a "benefit" like people who dont work and claim which i personally dont agree with.

I have no family near to help with childcare where are she has in laws who can look after her child whenever she wants.

she moans about not having money and that she's just as bad off cos she has to pay for her childcare but she's the one spending £150 in an hour online shopping and this is a regular occurance.

I really wanna work part time as i hate my daughter spending all week with someone else, i would rather be poorer and have more time with her than have money and not see her.

she also thinks i shouldnt have anymore children as i can't afford them if i have to claim tax credits (she doesnt want anymore).

I feel sh*t, upset and really quite angry.

Remember, you are entitled to them. You wouldn't get them if not. Luckily, it's not up to your friend who gets them.

And it could easily be her claiming them tomorrow. Mine and my partner's income was too high to claim any tax credits...then he left me two months ago and now I'm claiming again to keep a roof over mine and DS's head and food on the table.

Saying you shouldn't have kids you can't afford is stupid on all kinds of levels, but not least because, if your circumstances change, you can't send them back! You just do the best you can as a parent to provide for them, and IMHO, that includes claiming the benefits that you are ENTITLED to.

thank you, i have always hated claiming anything, when there came a time when i had to claim job seekers i wasnt on it for long cos i got myself a bar job, i have always worked and paid my way.

My daughter was planned and i always knew i would have to claim CTC but its horrible being made out to be a scrounger.

to top it off she is my boss so i spend too much time with her (friend first then boss) i am looking for a part time job (which she knows) but have been unsuccessful so far, i will do anything if it means i get to spend more tim with my daughter, even scrubbing toilets!

the whole renewal process is horrible though, especially when it comes to the childcare, sometime i feel like s*d it, jack the job in and live off benefits but im not that sort of person! lol

it just annoys me how she claims she has no money but will think nothing of spending £100 in a flash on something shes seen online.
every month i work out what i have to pay out and then ration what money i have left. it just drives me mad how someone can just say the things she has.

she also hates things like MN as she thinks we are all wierdos, shes not very sociable with "people she doesnt know" (go figure) lol

People who don't know how bloody lucky they are are lucky enough to have parents/PIL nearby that can/want to/able to look after their kids for several days a week instead of using a nursery etc just don't get it, do they?

Don't feel guilty about claiming tax credits. They're a great help. We just lost ours, and already noticing that things are a lot tighter.

I didn't claim the full amount when I was with (X)DP. But they have saved my life now I'm on my own, they pretty much pay for all the childcare which costs more than my salary.

You get tax credits because you WORK. The government does a bit to make up for the fact that you work many hours in a job that doesn't pay very well. Your 'friend' is an ass, you can tell her I said so.

lol @ rrreow! I wish i could!

we fell out about a year ago, think maybe it should have stayed that way!

It's difficult that she's your boss as well! I hope asking on here has put your mind at rest that you don't need to feel bad about claiming tax credits.

I missed the fact that she's your boss...the solution is simple then, she needs to pay you more so you don't have to claim tax credits. Everyone's happy!

Just an update on the situation above.......she sacked me a month after this origional post.....i'd been off for a week because my daughter had a really bad ear infection and was very poorly....she could do it because it was within the 6 month probabtionary period ...although that was not the reason she gave and said that the decision had come from head office and was down to branch perfomance (which i'm sure as the manager the liabilty was down to her). They refused to pay me my bonus even though we had reached our target for the month.

I left in relatively good spirits as i had had enough anyway and was pretty confident that i could find something else as i wasnt fussy about what i did, and i think a bit relieved that i didnt have to see her 38 hours a week anymore lol. She contacted me a couple of times to see" how i was getting on looking for work" which i politley replied but basicallly told her nothing.......i then deleted her from my fb account, blocked her so she could not contact me by any other means and have not heard or seen a fucking word from the bitch since! lmfao!!

I now work part -time in a place that i can walk to with my daughters nursery on the way, moneys tight but my daughter is awesome and thats worth more! lol

Looking back now i see what an effect she had on me, an unhealthy one and will never be rekindling that so-called friendship ever again (like i did once).

i know this sounds like a bitch, well it is, but who cares...i'm happy now.

I think the moral of my story is ....Do what makes you happy and fuck what other people think. :)

and breathe......(even typing about her wound me up!) lol

Thanks guys!

First of all:

Don't feel guilty at all about needing any financial help. I think that most parents need it. Life is very expensive these days. Very few truly can go around without benefits.

If your friend thinks bad about that, then she is very lucky and second she has no idea what she is talking about.

Does she has children herself?
Usual people without children do moan the most, because they have no idea of how expensive it's to have a child.

If everyone who according to her rules won't have any kids who can't afford them. Then there will be barely anyone working around the time that she's going to be old.
Ask her then how she'll cope with her finances, health wise and who's going to clean her house when she can't do it anymore?

That'll make her think.

I now see that she WAS your boss. What a bitch for sacking you. Glad to hear that you're happy. That is sooo much more important then being rich.

Money makes life easier, but you can't buy happiness or good health with it.

Take care,
Sylvia

"Do what makes you happy and fuck what other people think"

Bit like philosophy this?

Good for you OP! Glad to see that things are going better now.