please advise - have been told off for letting DS1 busk.

[lingle]

DS1 is nearly 9 and a 1/2. He is obsessed with playing the guitar and luckily is very good indeed at it. He wants a particular pedal for his electric guitar - I've told him we aren't prepared to simply keep buying things for him just because he wants them (he learns three instruments and his electric guitar lessons in particular are very expensive).

Ever since enterprise week at school DS1 has been wanting to go busking. Yesterday was the first sunny Saturday of the year and we walked down into town and I let him try while I sat in a nearby cafe. He made lots of money - but what was special was the smiles on people's faces, the things they said to him, and the comments I heard them making to each other afterwards. He said the hour went really quickly.

Today we went to the park with other younger children and he asked to do it again so I let him. He was in my eyeline 90% of the time - I was on the grass. I tried not to keep coming up to him though - I thought a busker with his mum sat next to him would be bizarre. I did have to put suncream on at one point.

When I finally persuaded him to finish, a lady approaching me and said "Excuse me, BigCity Social Services, do you think it is responsible to leave your child out begging?" I said that I had not left him, but had been watching him, and he had not been begging, he had been busking. Then she said "so long as you know that social services are watching you". I said "this is nonsense, he wanted to play his guitar, he's done it, and he's brought a lot of pleasure to a lot of people". I then asked her if she wanted my name and address and she said no.

So now I'm a bit shaken. Presumably this lady assumed DS1 was on his own? I can't imagine she was a social worker - I suspect they don't say things like "social services are watching you" - perhaps she works in admin or something.

I'm a bit torn now because DS1 has had an amazing life experience, something far more positive than being put forward for a talent show, etc, IMO, and something that has taught him lots of lessons about work and musicianship But a stranger has thought he was being neglected/abused and I've been frightened and threatened.

Any social workers around to comment?

We live in a small town and he ha

Unlikely she really was from SS she perhaps said that to big up her argument?

I imagine she was a nosey parker. Did she show you any id?

What a load of nonsense. I would be looking at him thinking how cool is he and isn't that inspirational that he has had the guts and the chutz pa (sp?) to do that, and how entrepreneurial of him. I'd chuck a couple of quid in his hat.

Social services aren't going to be bothered by a young man with his mum sat xx feet away. Silly over-reaction if you ask me.

the only thing to think about is what any busker would which is that there are often local by-laws governing when and where you can busk, so might be worth checking what they are (ask local police) so he doesn't get moved on by some bobby on the beat. But that would apply if he was 9 or 90!

Pat on the back for your DS who is working towards something he really wants and that is brilliant!

There are plenty of people in the world, some are a bit rubbish, so don't put store in this opinion just because the person chose to articulate their baseless view point to your face. You are judging them by your own standards i.e sensible and responsible, while in fact they sound like they have been reading wayyyy too many cheap newspapers.

Im not a social worker and cant give any constructive advice, but it all sounds very strange.

Maybe you need a licence to busk? Maybe as he is only 9 you should show a bit more of a presence. But I really dont think a SW would say things like that. Surely they would have taken your details.

Good on him for enjoying something so much and not being afraid to get out there and do it :)

No, she didn't show me any ID.

I was all a bit surreal (you know how it is when you are feeling pleased and proud and then the trap door opens under you and everything turns nasty).

I was a bit cross with DS1 today because he didn't take the trouble to dress as smartly - he had a hole in his jeans! Whereas yesterday he wore a proper ironed shirt. I wonder if that made a difference.

I also find it hard to believe the person was SS, the approach was very unprofessional. I would imagine real SS would have a friendly anonymous chat with him, thus discover your covert observations and cease to worry!

your DS's shirt is not to blame. The nasty person who rained on your parade is! Don't be cross with him, check out the attire of all the cool musicians - hardly an ironed shirt to be seen.

Re licensing - we phoned up and were told that no licence is required in our area for acoustic instruments but buskers must move on if asked to do so or if told they are annoying people/are a nuisance.

I think the cheap newspapers point is a good one - she reminded me of a neighbour who, when first shown my newborn said "isn't he lovely, you just can't understand those paedophiles who want to hurt them can you?".

Magic - cast this incident out of your mind and have a cuppa. Visualise the person sat in a paper boat on a lake, slowly sinking, with the cool waters closing over their head as you forget all about them.

The problem is the unexpected nature of the confrontation - always the type to most easily and unshakeably get under your skin! As you say one minute it's all ain't that great and a heart filled with pride fit to burst and the next it is some fraudulent claim to authority and questioning of your actions etc - quite a turn around enough to rattle anyones cage.

However, I for one wouldn't have had either the talent or the confidence to do what he has done twice now as a yound adult never mind 9yo, so I for one think it is ace, all the people who loved it and you saw for yoursefl all those think it is ace, and your DS loved it and has no doubt grown at least an inch taller doing it - all strong signs this was a Fab Idea and not to worry about the nutter anymore.

Stand all those people who smiled, gave him money, talked about him glowingly on one side in your mind and this person on the other and count 'em up to see which ones you should pay attention and give credence to.

I feel quite strongly about this - all these posts I am making It is only because I wish I had had a Mum like you and admire your young man. :)

It's not 'social services', it's Children's Services. She was lying. Strange woman.

thank you, I am touched.

It sounds as if it was a wholly positive experience for your DS, but I am not totally surprised that you have had a negative reaction from someone (even if what they said sounds suspect).
How was she to know that he was not a child that was being coerced into busking/begging by an exploitative adult? It happens. And the controlling adults are rightly taken to task by police / social services if there are genuine concerns.
Obviously these concerns did not exist in your case, but the casual observer might not know that it was not an exploitative situation.

Well done to you and your ds. Great that he learns he can't always have that he wants, and how fab he has a skill he can use for the pleasure of others and earn a few bob.

You are obviously kind caring and vv sensible by phoning to check out that what you were doing was ok and keeping a watchful eye. You are def not bu. just put from your mind the jealous selfish mare who obviously takes pleasure in being mean to others.

Good luck to your ds.

Good! It's a free world and people of all ages are allowed to play music in public! And if people like it enough to give him a coin or two well that's allowed as well! :)

I think that's a fair point Selks. I will think of it as her meaning well.

Well that woman was clearly mad, and I do admire your son for being prepared to earn his own cash.
However, I do feel a little uneasy about a child that young busking, but I don't know why.

I did too when he was talking about it - he's 9.8 - very mature but not streetwise.

But seems that he's far from the youngest! see below

www.dgstandard.co.uk/dumfries-news/2012/05/02/five-year-old-busker-raises-cash-for-charity-51311-30879250/

trust me, my heart was in my mouth when he set up yesterday, but he just calmly got his guitar out and started playing like there was nothing to it. I think he is lucky in that having an audience makes him calmer and play better.

He said the hour went really quickly and that he loved getting the money but he liked playing the guitar best.

We are not doing a "Michael Jackson's dad" I promise. In fact we sit him down and point out that only a couple of thousand people in the entire country earn enough from music to buy a nice house and have a pension.

sorry, still thinking.

I think it's all about that fact that this was his idea, he's driven it, asked to do it, had the confidence to carry it off and been happier about it even that I was.

I think that if it had been my idea or recommendation then yes - that wouldn't be right.

I usd to busk when I was a kid. Not quite as young as your DS but then I went on my own, without a parent looking after me. It's not begging, you're entertaining and you never ask people for money. They choose to drop something in the hat, if they've been entertained.

And as for that woman... clearly not from social services. Just some nosey parker on a power trip.

Well done to your DS for wanting to earn some money. That work ethic will be very useful in future.

lingle, I think what your son has done is amazing and cool, and great for his confidence. If you're feeling nervous about him doing it again, you could maybe check what your local busking regulations are. In my city, they're really very fair and quite lax - you just give them your details and they give you a photo ID card. I applied for one recently, don't remember there being any age restrictions. That way, if some disapproving person approaches you again, you can wave something official at them.

thank you I wrote to the zoo.

When I was at the peak of being upset, his little brother, who has social communication and sensory problems and, despite being gifted, is too shy to play an instrument in front of others said "when I'm nine I'm going to play guitar and busk too".

He won't be able to (might play guitar but won't have the maturity to busk) but it was lovely to see him inspired.

The only thing I would say is that you should be watching him 100% of the time and not 90%.

My cousin's daughter in Western Australia plays the violin and has often busked outside the concert hall in Perth. She's older now but did it as a teenager. She has to have a licence for that particular day and her Mum always stands the whole time in the crowd to make sure that everything is OK. The violin could be taken (it's worth a lot of money) or someone could approach her in the wrong way. After one slightly nasty experience she doesn't wear shorts anymore to busk.

They use the money towards more violin lessons.

My cousin said it is rather nice to hear what people in the crowd say about your child too!