What do you think of this 'sleep training' plan

[gingemum2b]

Hi everyone - I would really like to get some opinions please!
My little girl is just over 5 months. We have a co-sleeping cot, but she always ends up next to me! She has a very strong feed to sleep association which is getting stronger and stronger...to the point where she actually needs a nipple in her mouth for half the night in order to stay asleep.

Now, happy to give her what she needs. When she was younger she needed a boob pretty much half the day as well, but now she's happy to have it when she's hungry and when she needs a nap. Which is great. But the nights are just getting worse and neither me nor her are getting a good nights sleep. So, we have decided to do something about it. We have says this before, and tried things with varying success, but this time I think she's ready and the association is not necessarily that she needs the closeness to me, but that she needs to suck - point blank refuses a dummy.

So, our plan is to do our normal routine of bath, massage, feed and then for my partner to take over. He will put her in her co- sleeping cot and lay with her until she falls asleep. Now, we know from past experience that this involves quite a lot of crying. But he will be there to comfort her the while time. But will not pick her up. HV said that controlled crying may be more effective as, if we're next to her she will just be waiting for us to pick her up. But, I can't stand the thought of her crying on her own.

Sorry, I know this is long! Has anybody had any success doing anything similar?

Thank you! x

We did something like this when DS was around 6 months, it took a while but worked and I couldn't have left him to cry alone either. Having said that he's 22 months now and we still cuddle him to sleep! He's out like a light in two minutes though.

Don't listen to your HV in any case as that is far too young for CC. Watching with interest as my DD feeds to sleep too, she'll be 7 months soon however she's distractable in the day so when she's tired and sleepy it's my only chance to get a good feed in her so I'm not changing anything just yet. But be interested to read if it works for you for when we're ready to try something similar. She'll sometimes let DH rock and sing her to sleep but she then has to sleep on him, he's had no success in putting her into her cot asleep. I can't criticise though as she still takes at least half her naps on me too.

I think I'd manage it that way too - and therefore it is an excellent plan! Hope it works - 5 months seems so young to leave her to cry on her own.

Thanks everyone! I would be happy to feed her to sleep if she stayed asleep when the boob has gone as I love sleeping with her so close, but unfortunately I think I need to do something.

Fhdl34, she is exactly the same and will sometimes fall asleep when carried and sung to by daddy, but as soon as shes put down she's awake again.

She always sleeps on me, in our bed (with me) or in her buggy for her naps. So I think I'll need to stop the feed to sleep for naps as well. This is going to be hard.

Will keep you updated and any other advice wound be greatly appreciated! x

Fwiw I'm also of the opinion that there's a world of difference between her crying with her dad, and leaving her to cry alone.

Something else you might find useful if you haven't seen it before is the Pantley pull-off.

Sounds good but from experience with DS1 it will take a while. We started at about 8 months and it took him til 11 months when he would go down awake in his cot and settle to sleep alone with no crying. Before that we were cuddling to sleep every night sometimes with a fair bit of crying :-( It worked though and like you I couldn't stand to leave him crying alone feeling abandoned. Either me or DH would lie with him and stroke his little fuzzy head and comfort him til he settled. After a week or so the crying subsided a lot and he seemed to know what to expect. Saved our sanity!

Health visitors in the UK go through quite an extensive training programme, taking years to complete so do give them a chance to contribute. I appreciate that listening to your child cry is painful but appropriate responses to their crying helps your child fathom when they 'need' to tell you there's something wrong.

I did CC with the help of my HV when my DD was 6 months old. We rarely have any sleep issues now and when we do, I know there's something really wrong!

Bear in mind that no child benefits from knackered sleep starved parents and you do deserve a good nights' kip at this stage. Try Angela Henderson's book, the Good Sleep Guide for some excellent well thought out advice.

I can't quite believe that hv are recommending cc at 6 months :-(

i didnt think cc was recomended till 12mths plus now?

as an aside i dont think you are going to be leaving her to cry if your dh is there and comforting her, she will be getting comforted, just not necessarily the comfort she ones ie boob!

i was also going to recomend the pantley pull off technique.

Thanks everyone. I have read the No Cry Sleep Solutuon and have tried the Pantley Pull off. It did work sometimes, but other times she just got so annoyed that I kept on taking her off the boob that it woke her up properly and she got a second wind!

I do respect what the HV has said. But I think that on my situation, CC just isn't for us, especially as she's not in her own room yet and has slept smuggled in next to me since she was born.

Last night actually went quite well. We decided that he would comfort her unless we thought she needed to feed, which we thought every 4 hours. It took dad an hour and a half to get her to sleep, she woke a couple more times until it was feeding time. She woke a couple if times between the next feeds but was just ssshhed back to sleep quite easily. I know it may not sound great, but considering she has needed to be attached to a boob half the night before, we're pretty impressed and very proud of her.

She's awake now and having a feed...maybe I'm being a bit optimistic by thinking she may go back down!

Thanks again everyone. Fingers crossed that the beginning of the night is better!! x