10yo DS1 has a HUGE disproportionate reaction to things!

[carocaro]

Whenever he feels like he has been hard done too eg: his younger brother has 2 red Haribos and he has 2 blue ones (OK a stupid example but am trying to make a point), he totally flips his lid like it is the single most evil act possible, not only that he will carry on this feeling of being badly done to and refer to it often. He is a stubborn as f**k and won't budge an inch. It's like he is constantly on the end of a major international miscarriage of justice. He is physically fuming and full of vitriol, steam out of ears and smoke out of nostirls.

On the other hand he takes great care of his little brother when out, holds his hand, make sure he walks on the inside of the pavement, looks after him at school etc etc. Fab school report and 'normal; in most every other way possible!

I have explained that being part of a family means that you can't have it all your own way and that we all have to back off, back down and compromise and yes parents makes decisions that suck, but sometimes it's tough shit.

Why does he get so bothered?

Is it just that he needs to learn the art of compromise?

Are there underlying reasons where he might have a point - is there something going on (at school, with friends, anywhere) where he genuinely is hard done by and this is feeding into the whole victim thing elsewhere? How are things socially - is he a hanger on or one of the gang?

No not at all, he is a good joiner in of things, wide circle of mates, playtime buddy at school diffusing arguments of infants, popular, confident, chatty central.

No advice but if it helps, my DS1 is very similar

I'm not very good at explaining myself, so bear with me......

He sounds like a very kind child, helping others etc etc, but is he bossy ?
Does he feel he's responsible for everything whether its other peoples arguments, other peoples emotions, sharing out of treats and so on ? If he feels he cannot control a situation (minor or major ) then he feels out of control and that causes his behaviour. My daughter does this but unfortunatly she doesn't show any kindness unless it is beneficial to her, I must address this.