How am I going to get through the next couple of years?!

[rezzle]

Today I've just had my 12 week scan for DC2 and it's properly sunk in that we are expecting another baby. DS is just over 10 months old. How on earth am I going to get through the next couple of years with a baby and a small toddler just discovering everything? We're not even at the sleeping through the night stage with DS and I just can't imagine another 2+ years of that.

Can someone please share their fail safe tips at getting through the first few months with 2 under 2? Has a small age gap been good or a complete nightmare? I've always wanted more than one DC but I envisaged a larger age gap than this!

Ok. Well my situation is different I grant you but heres my spin on it. I have dts aged 6 mo so 2 young dcs and this is what I think.

1. My family is complete already (if I want it to be).

1. They will hopefully keep each other company.

1. They will go to school and then I will have my time back, so I count down to that.

1. I just see to the one that needs me at the time. They dont always want you at the same time. Tbh they rarely do. If dt1 plays up often I pop in whatever keeps him qt at that moment (at this time he likes chewing a ball with a little ball in it so that works.

1. 2 young uns are cute they hold hands. Aww.

1. I just do it all twice. I just do it all twice.

1. You have to be stricter with two. Ive only one pair of hands so if Im bathing them both I usually pop a dummy in dt1's mouth and give dt2 a crinkly book that he loves to crinkle. Basically whatever keeps them quiet.

Sorry Im turning this into the drunk thread! In a round about way Im just trying to say 2 close in age is lovely for all of the above reasons and many more. Whatever you do now- do it twice. And also if they both cry just use the failsafe things that work eg dummies, toys noone expects you to pick them bith up if anything people are far more tolerant. True story when in hospital after giving birth dt1 cried all frigging night. I would rock him to sleep and then hed start again whilst dt2 slept on. When he did that I would shout over to ther mums on the pn ward (they were awake!) sorry dt2 has started crying now! Well they werent to know and I still make the excuses sometimes that life is soo hard with 2 young dcs that I just neeeeddd a break (its bull youll find out Im sure that all babies are hard work and rewarding in equal measures). Congratulations!!!!!!!

puts down and slinks off to bed....

I can't fully relate as DD1 was a little older when DD2 was born (2.6) but I do know that you'll get through this. You have to. It's a matter of routine. Don't be afraid or ashamed to ask for help, paid or unpaid, if you need to.

Babies sleep a lot. Get your young one involved in feeding/talking to the baby right away. This say DS will feel he's a part of it and is less likely to feep jealous. Show him that you can spend time with him alone while the baby sleeps and together while you read s story etc.

It's difficult but it soon becomes second nature. I didn't have help and it wasn't a picnic but DD2 is 18 months and they're now best friends with the occasional fallout.

You will be fine. Your dc1 will change a lot by the time your 2nd one is born, so may not be sleeping through now but the whole situation may be so much different by then as he will be out from the baby stage into a bit more of a toddler. Even a few months is a long time in the life of such a young child so don't worry too much if he's not sleeping now there is still time!

I think with most people, you tend to think how am I going to cope with two??? then once they are born, you just get on with it and you find your own way. Hard at times but you get your own little methods and routines and it does get easier.

I had a similar gap as you, my 1st two are 17 months apart, and ds2 was a suprise so I wasn't really thinking of having that kind of age gap either but it just happened, and overall it was easier than I thought. I decided to do a similar gap again for the next one so can't have been that bad!! so ended up having ds3 when ds2 was 19 months

My top tip would probably be get a decent double buggy to make it easier to go out as much as you want, i wouldnt be tempted to go for slings, buggy boards or any of that personally. Much easier to just strap them both in and go. Getting out the house a lot saved my sanity when i had both of them under 2, i found it helpful to keep busy (moreso to keep my ds1 busy really).

The other thing i feel now about my ds1 and 2 is that when ds2 was born I expected too much from my ds1, he was very little himself but cos of him being the older one I think my expectations were beyond what was right for his age, which probably caused both me and him unnecessary stress so it can help to remind yourself that even though they are the 'older one' and are walking around the place, they are still really a baby! It sounds obvious, but i think it can be an easy mistake to make?

It is a nice age gap, once they get a little bit bigger they can play together really nicely and keep each other busy and hopefully will grow up close. Mine are just turned 4, and 2 and half now (and the little one nearly 1yr) and its lovely to see how the oldest one looks after the 2 yr old. They drag each other around everywhere and really stick together.
And makes it easy cos you can just treat them all the same in terms of bedtimes, bathtimes etc, just do them all together not like having to deal with 2 children very far apart in age with very different needs

Congrats and hopefully it will go better/easier than you think!

Thank you so much for the help/reassuring me! It's lovely to hear that all of your DC have close bonds, and hopefully this will be the case for mine.

The same gap as mine! I have two DDs, now 4 and 5. It certainly is a blur, I can't remember much about it! The main thing I wish I had known was not to try to force things. Mine were not great at long daytime naps and i couldn't bear it! I stressed so much about trying to get a 2 hour period when they were both asleep and it didn't happen much. Just face up to the fact that you will be on duty all day, and evening and night too until the younger one settles and that you will be knackered. Discover iron tablets and caffeine. Also you need to get the house set up so that you can feed the baby or spend time by its cot or carrycot settling it while the toddler plays and cannot escape to do anything dangerous. Dd1 watched a lot of In The Nightgarden when she was 18 months! Don't ever expect to get anywhere on time. Get people in (husband, grandparents, friend, local lovely old lady at a fiver an hour) to let you out for a couple of hours. Go to places like galleries and places that interest you for days out because they can be strapped into a buggy and wheeled round. Soon they will insist on softplay and stuff, so make the most of when they are too young to give you their opinion! My younger one starts school in September. I promise you it will speed by, so enjoy the lovely bits when you can.