Daughter is 8 years old and still poos in her knickers

[bengal38]

My daughter is 8 years old (9 in December) and is still pooing in her knickers. She knows when she wants to go as sometimes she will do a poo in the toilet. I have tried ignoring, sticker charts and taking away her favourite toy of hers but nothing seems to work. I have sat down and asked her why she poos in her knickers and she tells me it is because she doesn't get enough time to do a poo in the toilet. But at school she will do a poo in the toilet but at home or anywhere else she does it in her knickers. I have tried leaving her in her dirty knickers and letting her clean herself up as well and she still does it. I don't think she needs to see a doctor as she does a poo in the toilet at school. She even does it in her knickers at friends houses. What can I do?

Doesn't she get horrendously embarrassed at friends' if she does that?

How would she react to being taken to the doctor? It enduring sound like some professional advice would be a good idea. My DS is 5 and we have recently mostly solved the issue of accidents with a daily regular relaxed sit on toilet time with books etc. We rewarded him just for sitting each day for 10 mins or so and he is now regularly pooing at that time and doesn't need to go at other times. Worth a try?

Stupid phone adding words!

yes GP

she might be chronically constipated (encopresis)
the eric website is fabbo

I second gp. Ds had this problem and it was because he was constipated. Though it took a while as they kept telling me he wasn't when he actually was. With the right medication and time dedicated to sitting on the toilet each night he has finally stopped.

How has she got to 8 without you taking her to the doctor about this?

This happened to me till I was 11. I was under the school nurse who told my mum I was lazy. Finally, my mum decided to get a second opinion from the doctor. I had cronic constipation. Poo would get backlogged meaning sometimes it would overflow and I'd have no time to get to the toilet. Other times I could go normally.

Please take her the GP, it will be sorted in no time. I got bullied through school because a school nurse labled me lazy.

GP asap. Really. The methods you are using are for potty training.

Sounds like she has impacted faeces due to chronic constipation to me.

Go to GP and get some Movicol.

Is she actually doing the poo itself in her pants or is it just smearing. I had this problem with my DD for about 3 years and most of the time she would hold it in untill there was a backlog and then some leaked out into her pants. I feel your pain, this can be very difficult to solve as it is an emotional as well as a physical problem. Like you I tried everything, repeated visits to th GP, Movical for constipation, rewards for doing it in the toilet. Eventually aged nearly 8 she has more or less grown out of it.

If she goes fine at school then it's behavioural, not physical. If.

I don't want to offend by asking this, but it's too obvious to omit: do you have any poo hang ups, OP? Is she doing it for attention seeking or because of some kind of unusual reaction you have about it? Thing is you may not know you're unusual, so may be impossible to answer.

Does she manage okay for other relatives, her dad?

I think it sounds medical to me, and the longer it goes untreated the more stretched her bowel is becoming, making recovery more difficult. I think you need an xray/scan to check what's going on - it's not easy to tell by the consistency of what's coming out, it's what's stuck inside that's the issue.

Lack of control by this age is a classic symptom of constipation/blocked bowel... the poo just "squirts" around the impacted poo, so it appears to come out soft, but in reality the bowel is being stretched and losing muscle tone.

Definitely rule out medical first, then rule out psychological (or however that's spelt) - does she have issues with the home toilet? (is she is an anxious/quirky type of child that may have issues that you wouldn't even think of?). I doubt this is toilet training, just forgetting type of thing.

And if she has no control over it, no star charts, punishments or natural consequences are going to work.

I would go to the GP to rule out constipation.

For my dd (8) it was a combination of not-obvious constipation caused by a bizarre form of quirky attention seeking I think.

It has stopped now. The only thing that made this stop ( GP visit, movicol etc useless) was to make dd sit on the toilet 3 times a day to have a poo - for weeks. At first it was hit and miss but gradually it became a habit. In effect, it retrained her body to poo regularly.

OP - hoping you come back to this thread. Want to add dd also did this in friends houses, due to not getting to the toilet in time she used to say. Please try the regularly sitting on toilet method I mentioned. Even if you have to sit in the bathroom with her at first to encourage just keep getting her to try. And keep on doing it for however long it takes.
Good luck.