A little thread of Hope - what did you fret about that has resolved itself over time?

[Youaresoright]

The other evening as DS1 (2.8) told me to close the door as I left his bedroom, I suddenly realised that this is the same child that I rocked/held/lay down with to get to sleep for nearly 2 years.

So what things used to cause you major parenting anxiety, but have somehow sorted themselves over time?

Some of my other examples:

• DS2 was awful to wean - at 7 or 8m would not tolerate any lumps in puree, quite keen on finger food but would retch until he was sick every meal. Now at 13m he eats everything and anything (the gag reflex disappeared all of a sudden about 9m I think)

• DS1 spent the first 2 weeks at nursery refusing to eat anything other than banana, refusing to sleep, and only having brief periods of not crying. At 2.5 he had to go to a new nursery for one day per week - first day there he ran straight in grabbed a chair, sat down for breakfast - bye Mummy!

And if anyone can tell me about their 13mo who had never slept through in their life who magically started sleeping through at 14m from 7pm to 7am that would be a bonus

To begin with... everything.

I remember tearfully telling DH at around day four that if someone handed me a meat cleaver and told me that by chopping off a couple of my fingers I could ensure DS would be healthy and not die, I wouldn't even hesitate.

7 months and no amputations down the line, I'm glad nobody took me up on it!

Well... when DS was a couple of months old I remember ranting and ranting at my Mum about some awful thing DH had said or done and being shocked and appalled because she wasn't wholeheartedly agreeing with me.

Three years later I have wracked my brains and cannot for the life of me remember what that awful thing was

The growth charts and centile lines in their Red Books. The amount of worry and anxiety I've had over them with DD1 is so irritating!

She's 3.5yo and been on the 91st centile since she's been about 10mo. I understand now that it's fine; she's on the same centile for her height but I used to really worry that I was over-feeding or under-exercising her (I wasn't).

My little girl is so beautiful; she's all legs and golden blonde hair and big smiles. And she's so funny! I hate it when people say "oh, she's tall" "oh, she's big" "she looks much older than 3". I hate it because I don't want her to get a complex about it.

I'm tall (5'8"); DH is tall (6'2"). So I just say to her "you're so beautiful and tall, just like Mommy!"

And to all who say the things that rack me off I simply say "Yes - she's a real leggy blonde"

MammaT

OP, it's not exactly what you wanted, but DS woke 3-5 times a night from 9-13 months and then suddenly started waking only once a night (at my bedtime - we co-sleep and I'd disturb him coming to bed). I didn't do anything to encourage it.

Unfortunately it didn't last forever, and by 19 months he was back to 1-3 times a night. He does sleep through about 50-75% of the time now though (2.5 years).

DS's sleep has been the thing I've fretted about the most and it is SO much better than it ever has been. And he's no longer as sensitive to overtiredness, and is (generally) easier to get to sleep etc. I do still cuddle him to sleep though.

He's been a fussy eater since 12 months or so, but it's improving on its own. Today he asked for (unmelted) cheese for the first time in 18 months, and scoffed loads, telling me, "I like this cheese." After a year and a half of trying to get him to eat the stuff, that's quite a breakthrough. He's getting better with other things too. :)

Separation anxiety has also got much better. He used to have literal hysterics when someone else tried to speak to him. Now, although he still won't be left with anyone other than DH or his grandmothers, he will at least speak to other adults and doesn't panic too badly if someone comes near him.

I've fretted over allsorts, sleep, eating, whinging, teething, but thankfully it never seemed to be all at once.
What I've found is that there is ALWAYS 1 issue going on, and then as that unpleasant phase ends, another one creeps up and takes it's place. It's marvellous, natures way of not letting us relaxed and get too comfortable with this parenting malarkey

Sleep!!! DS was terrible at it for ages and ages. Now at almost 2 he self settles and sleeps through most nights, without input from us.

Sleep for us too - I used to worry about feeding DD to sleep, then about rocking her to sleep, then about cuddling her to sleep. Now I worry about having to lay with DD until she falls asleep! She is 17.5 months and I know that things have got better. A lot better, in fact. We've just had two nights of her sleeping 8-6). However, that doesn't stop me worrying that I'll be laying down with her for an hour every evening forever!

Youaresoright - just out of interest - how did your DS1 make the transition from being with you as he went to sleep to you being out of the room?

Also - drinking milk from a cup. She has always breastfed and whilst she enjoys drinking water from a cup, she much prefers getting her milk from me. Again, I know that this won't go on forever, but it's difficult to think logically sometimes!

Great thread, BTW.

LOL - sleep and eating - 18 yrs later and....

2 of them are still upstairs in bed and when they want to eat they ask me what I fancy and they often make it. They are all pretty good at salads with strange and delicious ingredients and when we shop they stock up sneak into the basket exotic olives and sun blush tomatoes. I have one who would crawl naked through nettles for garlic cloves in spiced olive oil - oh and they will happily eat the nettles. Gone are the days of oven chips, unless we all fancy a treat with lashings of salt and vinegar and tomato ketchup....

and they make me cups of tea and coffee on request. Really they do eventually grow up!

charlie our transition from co-sleeping>own room +parent > own room on their own, was very slow. the final stage was me telling them a very boring story which never quite got to the end until they fell asleep. They would still come into our room if they work during the night but then started creeping in with each other instead

Thanks catsrus that gives us the long term perspective!

Charlie mouse - I stopped lying down with DS1 when he just started jumping over the bed and it drove me mad more than standing over him in his cot (kept putting him down, had to keep holding his hand etc), that was about 17.5m. Then it was gradual withdrawal, I would stop touching him for short bits of time, then eventually I was just stood over the cot, then lying next to the cot, then moving slowly away - it really does work if you are determined. I was very determined by that point as DS2 was due, in fact the very final time I was lying on DS1's floor (just my feet sticking in the room) I got up and my waters broke... funnily enough I didnt have time after that! After DS2 was born I used to potter about in DS1's room and just outside the door, and I found he was old enough to understand that I hadn't gone far away (he was 20months).

By the way, the power of mumsnet, I've had my miracle (for now anyway)! DS2 slept till 4.30/4.45 the last 2 nights!!! This is a massive improvement the best I think he ever did in his life before was 1:30 and that was a one-off. I stopped night feeding him a couple of weeks ago.

Thanks Youaresoright - that is really helpful and reassuring. I started doing gradual withdrawal a couple of months ago when DD was 15 months old. It was working (she would eventually fall asleep in her cot with me sitting reading a book a few feet away). Unfortunately, a cold / a spell of warm weather / teething / our holiday put us very firmly back to square one where we still are now. Might be time to try again.

Brilliant - well done DS2! That is great. Let's hope the good sleep continues.

Marking my place to come back to later - there were a few things that stressed me out which DD no longer does. Am on iPhone just now so will post properly from computer later