How do I stop being shouty mum with children that live in a timeless dreamworld?

[Arana]

DS (4) and DD (2) are lovely, sweet, willful, but pretty much normal kids.

They do, however drive me up the wall sometimes, and the more stressed I am, the more inert they seem to get, and then I turn red, grow horns and turn into Shouty Mum. This generally seems to be whenever I put the pressure on to them to do something quickly/ in a timely manner.

Examples: DS refusing to put his trousers on so we can go shopping. He wants to go shopping, he has a choice of two pairs of trousers, he is perfectly capable of putting them on himself, but refuses to, for reasons he won't disclose. This goes on for 20 minutes. Result: Me turning into shouty mum, having to manhandle him into trousers while he cries.

DD eating her breakfast cereal one grain at a time, refusing to be fed, refusing to eat it faster. She will have had it for 40 minutes, eating it one grain at a time. Result: me turning into shouty mum, taking and binning her cereal and dealing with crying DD.

It's mainly dealing with time - they have no concept of it (which I understand, they're 2 and 4 - I'm 30 and I struggle with time) but even when everything is made easy for them, it just seems to backfire. I'm usually pretty laid back about timing, especially when it's not necessary (weekends), but we still have to get to nursery in time for me and DH to get the train to work, and next year DS will go to school, so again, will have to be ready on time.

I understand your pov, Arana, but if their dithering over their choice of clothing etc is causing you to to get annoyed, then you're going to have to accept that that choice is too big for them right now. It doesn't mean you're going to be choosing their clothes forever, just it's not working quite yet.

As for the food, I would just take healthy snacks with you. When they're hungry, they'll eat them. Just as above, it doesn't mean they won't eat regular meals in the correct manner in future.

Then aim for one or two meals a week, where you all sit down together, and tell them that this is non negotiable...they have to eat properly and eat what they're given. They can't just sit there in their poker dot pants, and they can't feed the dog (yes, I'm quoting my family!). It worked for me, so that's all I can suggest!

Sounds like me and mine except one specialises in being naughty and making the little wail whenever we are in a hurry

OP, I'm with you. In fact, are you me?!

Things are so bad, that I have taken to trawling the Parenting threads trying to find people like me !!

Case in point: DS (3yo) can NEVER put his shoes on when we are on our way to nursery/work. 'I can't do it, YOU do it, help me, they don't fit, I can't dooooo it...'.

However, when I say 'you can play outside, once you've put your shoes on', he has them on in a nanosecond. Grrr