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Parenting

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Original poster

How do I stop my 3.5yo from having a dummy?

13 replies

MammaTonic · 16/07/2012 18:40

My DD is 3.5yo and still has a dummy. I like to tell myself that it's only at bedtime and when she's in the car, but it's more like these times plus when she's relaxing, watchig TV, colouring in, etc. It's basically any time other than when she's out playing, or we're shopping or seeing friends.

Lately, she's just looking too big to have it. It's also causing behaviour problems in that when there is no dummy around when she wants one, she cries. And cries ...

I also have a 12wo baby who has a dummy, so I appreciate that this might not be the best time to get DD1 off the dummy. But I would like to try!

So, apologies if this thread has been done to death already, but does anyone have any successful tips for getting a child of this age off their dummy?

TIA!

MammaT

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BonkeyMollocks · 16/07/2012 18:43

Just get rid and go cold turkey.

Yes it will be hell for a few day, but then it will just stop.

Maybe tell her that dummies are for babies (point out your 12wk olds) and say that she is a big girl now and the dummy fairy is coming to take her dummies away at night time.

Leave a 'big girl' pressie in place of the dummies.

Robomummy · 16/07/2012 18:59

Hi, just got rid of the dummy for my 2.5 yr old who getting pretty reliant on it. We went cold turkey and threw them all away, told him the babies have them now and he's a big boy. Two weeks of awful tantrums and screaming at bedtime and in the car when he would normally have it. Hard work, but then he stopped asking and a month later doesn't mention it at all. Good luck!

jkklpu · 16/07/2012 19:01

agree with the others - can you get rid of the baby's too so she feels less aggrieved?

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notcitrus · 16/07/2012 19:05

I had the same issue - ds wanted the dummy more than TV or anything else.
Luckily, his Big Cousin (nine months older) told him that four-year-olds don't have dummies, and I agreed and said that before he was four, the dummy fairy would come and take the dummies and leave a lovely present.

Humph, said ds, age 3.5. His sister was born a couple weeks later.
But then we discussed hypothetically what the dummy fairy might bring. He drove a hard bargain...
And then one dummy got a hole in, and then another, and then there was only one left (and one that I didn't mention).
And one day he said he wanted to give his dummy to the dummy fairy so he could have two dinosaurs.

So we made a quick trip to a toyshop, I asked him whether two certain dinosaurs would be OK, and then bought them when he wasn't looking. The dummy was put in a box on the landing and he went to bed fine. And was very chuffed with the dinos the next day.

It was night 4 when he cried and wanted the dummy back and I had to tell him three times over a couple hours that he couldn't, but he had lovely dinosaurs now. He sucked a dinosaur tail instead.

And that was it.

I have avoided giving dd a dummy though. Actually I tried one night and she wouldn't have it, just like he did - he was 10 months when he took one, when he had a cold and was sucking me all night so I tried it in desperation.

DefiniteMaybe · 16/07/2012 19:06

When children are too old for dummies the dummy fairy makes them taste really bad. We discussed that for a week or so then I the dummy fairy covered his dummies in that stuff you get to stop nail biting when he was at nursery. He got back and had a taste of all his dummies. They tasted bad so he won't have them now. We've had no tantrums and no asking for his dummy. Just a slight sadness that he's too old now. He was 3.7.

musttidyupmusttidyup · 16/07/2012 19:12

Thanks for this. I'm in the same situation. DS loves his dummy do much I feel mean but he's 4 in December.....

Tinkerisdead · 16/07/2012 19:17

Dummy fairy. The arrival of a baby actually helped as we talked a lot about how dummies are for babies.

I got a fairy gift bag and did a letter from the fairy. I rang the doorbell sensor and got dd to open the door. The letter said 'i've run out of dummies to give to the babies like x and y, name the babies.

Could you please be a big brave girl and put yours in this bag and leave them in the garden. I will leave you a lovely bug girls present.

Dd put the dummies in and when she went to bed i quickly cut the ends off them all so i couldnt back down. Dd did come down but saw that they were all broken ready to be made into new dummies. In the morning she had a balance bike!!! ( i got it for about 15.00 on sale) and i made a certificate saying what a brave and kind little girl she was. Dd was thrilled.

It worked an absolute treat and i'm actually sad that dd2 doesnt have a dummy as it was pure childhood magic.

Original poster

MammaTonic · 16/07/2012 20:15

Thank-you, everyone, for your very detailed and useful responses. notcitrus, I laughed out loud at your post, particularly the part where your DS sucked the toy dino's tail!!

jkklpu I agree DD1 would feel less aggrieved if I got rid of DD2s dummy, but it's just not an option! Can't take any more nipple sucking

There's definitely some good tips here which I'll think about applying to my scarily intelligent daughter. I mean it - she is not easily fooled. She's 3 going on at least 13!

I don't think either DH or I are brave enough to go cold turkey; we have enough sleepless nights already! So, something like the Dummy Fairy, as in TheDoctorsWife's suggestion might just be the right thing.

DD1 would love the officiality of the certificate ...

Thanks again all,

OP posts:

Tinkerisdead · 16/07/2012 21:15

i Probably have the certificate on my pc, I can check tomorrow n email you it if you like?

Original poster

MammaTonic · 16/07/2012 21:42

Yes, thank-you, that would be great!

OP posts:

Tinkerisdead · 19/07/2012 04:02

Mamma not sure if you've seen, i've pm'd you.

UniS · 19/07/2012 19:30

Find something she wants MORE than a dummy.

For DS it was a USB PC mouse ( I kid you not). He was aged 3.6 and about to start a new preschool, had just moved house etc... I was holding off dummy removal till we were settled, but DS saw mouse in a shop, wanted mouse, fell in love with mouse... and was putty in my hands when I said something sooo special could only be for a big boy who didn't use a dummy and when he had stopped I would get him a mouse...

That night he went cold turkey, next day started preschool... no more dummy. I had to dash into town and buy the flipping mouse on his first day at preschool when I'd been looking forward to putting my feet up .

stayfree · 20/07/2012 23:27

Yes, we went for the dummy fairy too, my ds was 3 yrs. He was actually more accepting than i thought he'd be, think he knew they are for babies, after about 2 days he was fine :) his little sister never had a dummy (as i was worried he'd take them lol!) but he said that the dummy fairy 'cooked' them and then gave them to other babies lol, so we said they were given to a friend's baby. He got some money and then bought himself some toys at the toyshop.

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