When and how did you get your evenings back?

[luckysocks]

With DS,I remember starting the bedtime routine when he was 4 weeks. However, I still have some of the records I made showing when he fed/slept and these show that the evenings didn't actually settle down for quite some time after that! I don't know quite when, though.

DD is now 7 weeks, I run her bath/massage/feed/settle routine at 6.15pm (as with DS) which is nice but a bit farcical, as she stays down for roughly 90 seconds before the evening madness begins.

Can you remember when / how things started to settle for you?

Oh and, new ISIS factsheet on where babies should sleep . Interestingly it states that "There is no evidence to show that baby alarms, or movement monitors, prevent SIDS."

Thanks I will take a look at all of this .

6 months here. Before that, I spent my days, evenings and nights pacing, singing, praying and sobbing with a crying baby in my arms. We decided to give CC a try, it worked, and everybody became happier. He is still a very good sleeper at nearly 2, thank god.

Really people do this - every daytime nap and every sleep in the same room as you? This is surely taking guidelines to the extreme. Surely the poor little one probably isn't going to get a proper sleep in the same room as everyone and your just going to have a very overtired baby on your hands - that would have happened in our case.

Different horses for different courses, my DS was in his own room from 3 weeks and I enjoyed having my evenings, a relaxing meal with DH back when we got into the routine.

Parenting styles can be so different but I know that the whole family would have suffered if we had stuck to this guideline religiously.

We're definitely all different I don't understand why/how anyone would go to the trouble of getting their baby to sleep in a different room, at least until they sleep for a decent amount of time. I just used to let DS fall asleep where he was when he was tired.

Yes benne, some of us do, but not necessarily just because of SIDS guidelines, because it feels right . 2 out of 3 of my DCs have rarely been put down before 6 months except when sleeping right next me or in someone else's arms. Daytime naps were in slings, evenings were spent breastfeeding or being held, or occasionally in bouncer chair thing for 30 mins or so. DC1 spent evening naps in a moses basket or pram downstairs with us. Never noticed anyone being 'overtired' whatever that means. When my babies were tired, they slept. Often in short bursts, as is biologically normal.

This idea of babies in separate rooms and sleeping all night etc is a cultural one. Lots of mothers in other countries would find this v odd.

Or course everyone makes their own decisions and assesses the various risks/benefits pros/cons and does things their own way .

I think with my older son he went down about 7 and when he was very little and waking lots during the night I went to bed about 8 myself (was single so no reason not to really - sleep was more important!). Ds2 is 5 weeks tomorrow and I just keep him next to me till I go to bed, I've read the new SIDS advice and base the decision on that, that and the fact that tbh I'm much more relaxed this time and happy to trust my instinct that I just want him with me all the time. Ds1 wants him to have a proper bedtime but I can't see that being introduced until 6 months plus at the earliest. It just doesnt seem that important this time round. I think last time I just thought it was what you were supposed to do and I'd have been much happier just waiting.

DD is 9 weeks old and she has pretty much decided that her bed time is 7:30; she falls asleep then and DH and I have been putting her in her cot (which is in our bedroom) ... But having read the guidelines on naps, I am a bit confused now.

We did have her with us until we went to bed but she gets woken up very easily (by us talking, eating, moving around etc) and ends up getting screamy and furious which is why we put her in her cot. We use sleeping bags so we know she won't have issues with bedding over her head and we have a really good monitor but the guidelines say there is no evidence that these prevent SIDS. Hmmm...

"I don't understand why/how anyone would go to the trouble of getting their baby to sleep in a different room, at least until they sleep for a decent amount of time. I just used to let DS fall asleep where he was when he was tired."

I had DD in my bedroom until she turned 1. But I couldn't 'let her fall asleep where she was' in the evening because she wouldn't fall asleep with the sound of cooking, chatting, TV, music etc... It's a very lovely idea having the baby sleep peacefully in the carrycot in the same room with you and then take them up to bed when you go up, and it if works/ed for you then great - but I don't think it can be that hard to understand that it doesn't work for everyone. I didn't want to sit downstairs in near-silence with the lights dimmed all evening, which is what I would have had to do to get DD to sleep with us downstairs.

I wouldn't have put her in a separate room at night as she fed at night until I night weaned when she was a couple of weeks away from her first birthday. I think having the baby in a separate room all night is a completely different issue from putting them to bed in the evening (then rooming with them overnight).

Gin it sounds to me like you have a baby just like my DS he is furious if he doesn't get enough sleep or is woken up to early (just like his mum!).

Guidelines are there to highlight particular issues but I think you have to slot them into your individual circumstances. So don't worry too much, follow your instinct & do what makes you and your little one happy.

Thanks Benne, there is a LOT less stress in the house if DD goes to bed a couple of hours before us ... For some reason she gets especially irate when DH speaks (even if he whispers) while she is asleep; this does not go down well with either of them!

My son is 19 weeks and we were having hellish evenings with me upstairs from 7 till morning with him laying on or with me in one way or another. BUT we started a sleep technique 4 days ago and it is so much better already. We opted for the leave to cry approach and altho it is brutal it is very effective and he is getting much more nighttime sleep than before. The idea is you settle them down and then you leave them, and you do not go back! It is crucial you have a routine inplace and stick to it.
It is hard going and you will need to be strong, I found chocolate and pringles helped me get through it. Dont crack if you do, it will be uch harder the next time you try and do it. If you are dertermined to do it then stick at it else you are just prolonging the agony for yourself. He has loved us no less in the morning.

Night 1 - Fed him and put him down awake, we both cried for about an hour and 15 minutes, slept till about 3, had a feed and then cried on and off till about 5.15. But we did not pick up, make eye contact, speak, shhhh or interact with him. We gently touched his back/chest/head so he knew we were there.
Night 2 - Fed him and put him down awake. Cried for 40 minutes, then woke up for a feed about 11 and went staright back down again no hassle. Murmured a couple of times in the night but slept till 7.30 in the morning.
Night 3 - Fed him and put him down awake, cried for 40 minutes. Woke for a feed at 10.30 and went staraight back down no hassle. Slept till 8.
Night 4 - Fed him and put him down awake, Cried for 35 minutes. Woke for a feed at 11.40 and went staright back down no problem .... I will tell you the rest in the morning.

Apparently as babies move through stages of sleep they expect to wake up as they went to sleep. So if they fall asleep on your chest and you lay them down asleep they expect to be in this position when they stir, when they are not i this position then they wake and scream. ALWAYS PUT YOUR LITTLE ONE DOWN AWAKE. If they are asleep, as crazy as it sounds gently wake them up, I find a lillte tickle to his toes does this.

He sleeps in his own crib in our bedroom. Naps have always been taken on me in a sling, or in his travel cot in our main living space but am working on them being in his crib from tomorrow as he doesnt sleep for very long in our main living space.

Like GermyRabbit I though this was going to be about older children. I don't remember with dcs 1 and 2, but I know dc3 didn't go to sleep before 11pm until she was 2+.

About 6 weeks with ds, 1 year with dd (second)