need advice - ds 4 wks won't sleep longer than 1 hour round the clock!

[Wigglewoo]

Getting to the end of my tether now and could really do with some advice..

My ds is 4 weeks old. He suffered badly with wind so we put him on cow and gate comfort and now aptamil comfort and this seems to have helped with the wind.

The main issue is he just will not sleep for longer than one hour at a time and then wakes wanting feed again. He will take between 2-5oz and then just stay awake for up to an hour (doesn't want any more feed) and will then sleep for 20 mins to an hour and then wake up again...

He is like this all round the clock including night which is what I'm finding most difficult. When he is awake I put him under the play gym or in his bouncy chair but he's a bit too young to "play" as such so gets fed up and whingy after 5 mins.

The only thing he ever wants to do is to be walked round on mine or dh's chest but neither of us have the energy at 2/3/4/5am for this.

He will fall asleep straight after a feed during the night and I put him in his moses basket next to our bed. He stays asleep and I think "oh good he's gone" and I go to sleep only for him to wake up an hour later wanting feeding again!! Sometimes he even has a whole bottle and still does it so its not like he's not taking enough at each feed. He is genuinely hungry as if I try to cuddle him he goes nuts until I feed him. He is 9lbs.

My dd (now aged 9) was never like this and slept for 2-4 hours early on and I really can't cope with ds. My dh took him from 10pm to 2am yesterday to let me get some sleep (he is very hands on). I just feel so resentful at this hourly waking. Dh works in a physical demanding job so its down to me to do most night feeds.

I know its not ds's fault but I am getting so angry and sleep deprived that I actually swore at him / the situation this morning - I said "for fucks sake all you fucking do is cry" and I've just had enough.

Have tried infacol, different teats / bottles, swaddling (ds hates it), sleeping in bouncy chair (still wakes every hour), different nappies, changing / not changing him at night... Bath!! You name it!!

I'm not expecting him to sleep all bloody night just a few hours at a time!!

He does the same thing in the pram or car seat too.

His current record is 8 hours awake followed by 20 mins nap follwed by 4 hours awake and then one hour sleep.

Dummies make him really angry as he just wants his feed. If I give him one after a feed he just spits it out and gets fed up.

Just can't cope with this :(

It sounds like he's overtired and overstimulated to me. I would stop putting him in the baby gym as they're really exciting to small babies and also the bouncy chair is giving him a lot to look at. I would wear him in a sling the whole time for a few days and see what happens. I bet once he's held against you for long enough for him to relax he will start to sleep. I would stick with the sling until he's taking good long sleeps in there, a baba sling gives a lovely snuggly hold rather than a crotch dangle like the uprights. I'd also look at reducing the stimulation in the house, less tv etc, just for a few days. Poor you sounds hellish!!! Oh and once he's having long sleeps in the sling you can pop him down in the sling and he might carry on sleeping. That's always the dream heh. Good luck!

He sounds overtired. My baby gets the same. I did not "believe" in over tiredness before my son was born.

I thought oh great if a baby is tired he will sleep well. Not true... oh god not true!

We now (7 weeks) ensure, on pain of death, that he is religiously put down for his naps when he should be.

At 4 weeks your baby (assuming up at 7am) needs to sleep roughly 9-10 and then 11.30-2pm or 12-2:30pm and then 4-5pm then bed at 7pm

Ie he must never be awake more that 2 hours or youre screwed! Then even when he does drop off he will wake up.

Hang on my baby is crying :) must dash...

Thanks :)

But if he's over tired how can I get him to nap? I put him down when he's asleep in my arms and he's stll asleep in the basket for up to an hour and then he's awake again! :( its exhausting.

I do have a babasling but I'm struggling to get the hang of it, ds looks very squashed in it. Plus I had a c section and carrying him round all the time is knackering :(

I only put him under the play gym as a last resort when I really don't know what else to do .. Maybe you're right and I will stop this and see if it makes a difference.

He's been awake most of today and is having his longest sleep so far now - an hour- which I got him into by walking round with him on my chest! He's now grunting so won't be asleep much longer...

This is so hard - esp with a 9 year old who needs my attention too... Maybe not like a toddler but I'm so stressed with the baby I can't even talk to her properly... Same with my dh.

i dont have any useful advice but just wanted to say i know how you feel i could have written yr post. My 4wk DS has been exactly the same for the last few days.

I agree with Heidi it is prob overtiredness Ihave a 3yr old and I did a routine similar to the one suggested - I actually tried to do this today and got as far as the morn nap - but i think i messed it up by being late to put him down for his lunchtime nap as i was busy with my 3yr old and we have now had a hellish day. Ive been driving him around all afternoon to get him to sleep so i could get some shopping done - only for him to wake up a few mins after Ive stopped driving!!

Heidi or anyone else - do you have any advice for how to eventually settle them when theyve become overtired and any general advice on how to get them to sleep generally?? thanks!

Hi

My DS was like this, esp the seeming hungry thing. He'd take an 8oz bottle then root for more.

At 5 weeks he was diagnosed with gastric reflux-drinking was the only thing that soothed it hence the over feeding.

I'm not trying to attribute what you're going through to this, just raising it as a possibility. My DS was by no means extreme in his symptoms (as I assumed he would be with reflux) but he was certainly displaying a few & was helped no end by infant gaviscon.

Good luck-sleep deprivation is terrible

Just to add, there is a post on breast and bottle feeding that might help you too, title is about clinic being baffled

Hope you get some sleep soon

try looking at a sling like a close baby carrier. he will be very snug and close to you in there (kinda replicating the womb). he will also be upright rather than laying down in a babasling. this should help with wind/ possible reflux

try swaddling again if you can. he is likely to be waking ever so slightly after 30 mins/hour and the shock of his arms moving about can cause him to wake

try to think of the first 3 months as the natural 4th trimester (a human is technically born far too early at 40 weeks but the human head is too big to be born much later). so lots of closeness/warmth/ relaxing is what will comfort him

a play gym probably is simply too much stimulation and he is getting over tired

if he hasnt slept in 2 hrs, get him to sleep in sling/feeding/ buggy/ whatever as is probably overtired

a sling works wonders really if you can get a good one (look online most places like mothercare etc will only sell babybjorn etc which wont really help)

try splitting evenings so you get a guaranteed sleep. i know you say dh has to work the next day but a grown man should be able to survive on 6/7 hours sleep fine

8pm-1pm = his time to get up. you can go to bed at 8pm if needed so you can get 5hrs good sleep.

then swap and he can sleep 1pm onwards

(although he could obv go to bed early too and try to sleep whilst baby does but get up in between)

in regards to wind - try feeding max 2oz then winding, then feed again 2 oz max, wind, repeat until full... you may need to wind after every oz if hes still struggling.

as i said above an upright sling such as close baby will help here also. freeing up your hands mean one of you wont have to just walk around and around but can actually do something at the same time if you like (collecting eldest from school/ homework help/ dinner prep etc)

sorry its a bit long....

My ds2 who is 14 weeks is completely different from ds1 (5) who would and still does sleep for England.

I've found darkness helps. He prefers to nap in his pram during the day but would have 30 mins then wake up even tho he was still tired. I bought a snooze shade a few days ago and he is sleeping much better now. He still wakes up but settles himself back off to sleep. He had a whole 2 hours today at lunch time.

It sounds like maybe your ds is associating sleep with feeding so waking up and needing to feed to get back off to sleep? Maybe a dummy would help or waking him after feeding for a bit before settling him for a nap?

DS is 5wks and i had the same problem. Aptamil and powder cow &gate was too light a meal for him so he woke up often to feed. Then i switched to cow&gate ready made that is the ones in little cartoon. Which keeps him filled for longer and helps him sleep longer in the day time but night is still an issue as he wakes every 3hrs but touch wood the last 3nights has been better as i breastfeed him which is like a light feed for him, keep him entertained for a hour or two and his full bottle feed and he has slept for 4-5hrs straight.
Had the till 2pm arrangement with partner and it worked but still i was always tired, then i learnt to sleep when he slept and left house work to partner

DS is 5wks and i had the same problem. Aptamil and powder cow &gate was too light a meal for him so he woke up often to feed. Then i switched to cow&gate ready made that is the ones in little cartoon. Which keeps him filled for longer and helps him sleep longer in the day time but night is still an issue as he wakes every 3hrs but touch wood the last 3nights has been better as i breastfeed him which is like a light feed for him, keep him entertained for a hour or two and his full bottle feed and he has slept for 4-5hrs straight.
Had the till 2pm arrangement with partner and it worked but still i was always tired, then i learnt to sleep when he slept and left house work to partner