If you separate(d) milk and sleep- how do youdo it? Need encouragement and ideas please!!!

[Tertius]

Dd is nearly one and now (just) bottle fed. She has only one nap so by bedtime is very tired and I simply can't give her the bedtime bottle of milk and put her down awake. She drops off on it.

At the moment, I give my son (3years) and her a bath around six, get them both dressed and sort out some milk for my son and put something on for him to watch. Around ten to seven we take her off to bedroom, wave goodnight, into sleeping bag and try and read a book but sometimes go straight to milk (and she drops off after 4 oz)...

Writing this, I can see I need to start the routine earlier. She is waking to be resettled all night and I want her to settle herselfto sleep.

I am just nervous about putting a little one to bed without the aid of milk relaxing her. Any suggestions please! Or experience of how you do it.

Marking place, as I'm also curious to know the answer!

I am not sure I am the best person for advice as I haven't even started to seperate ds day time nap and milk yet but we have tried the night time thing, partly to get us to a place where he can self settle.

What we found is that we had to get him reach for bed earlier. So he gets in bath at around 6:15. Back in bedroom about 6:35. Dead thirsty now so he has some of his bottle while we dry him off, short massage and pjs on. Then sleeping bag and sit down for cuddle and milk with his bed time music playing. He is sleepy, but awake after the bottle and we then put him down. It's been a slow process though- we had to let him fall asleep on us after bottle. Then we graduated to almost asleep, put him down but lots of gentle stroking etc and we now can put him down and just stay near. Hopefully we are slowly slowly getting to the point where we can put him down and walk out.

Oh, and ds is 13 months.

Thanks - I'll try that tonight. Doing milk at 6:30 and then stories and cuddles... I ought to introduce some music maybe.

Do you not brush their teeth before bed (genuine question, not accusatory)? My dd is 11 months and now she has her two front top and bottom teeth I give her a bottle then brush teeth as quickly as possible - it is rather perfunctory sometimes- then back to the bedroom for a quick cuddle while she gets sleepy again and then down as usual. Haven't had any major problems with that routine as yet

I had the same problem with DD1 (now almost 3). But we give her dinner, bath then milk in the living room before going upstairs for brushing teeth, stories, cuddles and bed. Took a while for her to get used to it though!

I'm in the process of doing this myself with DD3 who's 15 months and loves her bottle. We start by changing the bottle to a sippy cup and reading a story to her by her cot while she's drinking her milk, then once she used to that routine start giving the milk in a sippy cup downstairs before the bedtime routine, then once they are ok with that your sorted cause you can move the time of the last sippy cup of milk back to dinner time if you want. Take it slow and maybe leave it for a while longer if you can, today was DD3's first bottle free day!

DD is 2 (just). For many many months (since she went to one nap) we have done bath at 6ish, Gaviscon at 6.15, PJs and find cuddle bear. Then back downstairs for quiet reading of books and a breastfeed, then we go back upstairs at 6.50 and I read her a chapter or two of a longish book like the hobbit. She is usually asleep by 7.15.

DD has always fed to sleep for a nap, but not for over a year before bed. That was mostly her doing but created by DH doing betime, I would BF and he would take her up. The nights she does fall asleep on the breast she usually wakes by9 and is unsettled.

Calamity : yes, we brush them after bath but before bottle. Probably not ideal but that will change over time.

I just shifted when I gave him the milk slowly forward in his routine. He has his bath and then his milk but that's because he has a long routine of eczema creams after his bath. Initially he had a breastfeed after all the creams, then when he moved to formula we did the same and then gradually I moved forward when he had it. for a while he would still have a little bit right at the end before his cot but then I tried putting the milk away before his final lot of cream and getting him to brush his teeth as the last thing before a final story and bed, and he accepted almost without protest the change in routine. Turned out, I think, that it was me clinging onto the routine more than him

forgot to say, to begin with he would cuddle on me just without the milk, but now he asks to go in the cot straight away once we turn out the light.

If she is falling to sleep so easily perhaps she just doesn't need that last bottle? I never got into the 'bedtime' milk routine, can't really remember why (it was 11 years ago ) probably because I was too lazy ! My DS was breast fed and then went straight to cups so he would have his last drink with his final meal of the day and then went to bed straight after a bath without another drink.

Why don't you just stop the last bottle and see if it makes any difference to whether she sleeps through or not.

I do think a lot of the bottle routine is for parents' sake as much as anything trying not to be judgey about a six year old I know who still has a bottle of milk at bed time.

Interesting reading as I had wrongly assumed that feeding to sleep was a bf only "problem", didnt know it happened on bottles too! I currently feed (bf) my 14mth to sleep, she seems starving/thirsty as it is usually a massive feed. She always falls asleep then I pop her into her cot. But as other posters are saying, she often wakes several times after that throughout the evening, and really only does a reliable stretch from 12-5ish at best.
Daytime naps can be done without milk but only if she is being pushed in her pram.
Is the key to feed them earlier do you think, so they get that last big feed but don't conk out during? I already struggle to get to a bath for 6:30 after work etc

Watching with interest at 19mo dd had bottle before bed and then goes to sleep in our arms.

Ds is 18 months and we are 4 days into taking his bottle away. He has bedtime milk in a beaker and then a non spill beaker of water in his cot. He slept through last night for the first time