Coping with terrible twos

[Melf]

Help! My two and half year old is driving me crazy. I was up with him at 6am this morning and he's only just gone to bed - where I've had to sit with him for 40 mns until he goes to sleep. I've had at least 10 temper tantrums during the day (including lying on the footpath outside school screaming) and I don't think I can handle it anymore. He's driving me to tears on a regular basis and I feel as if he's in control not me or his dad. Half the time I don't even like him anymore. He has a brother of five - they fight continually. Someone tell me there's light at the end of the tunnel?! Any advice on getting thru tunnel also gratefully received...

Hi Melf! Well i thought i was SO lucky when i read all about terrible twos and how they are self obsessed at that age, but dd does have her moments now! Yesterday she kicked a bollard in the street but the scary thing is, i think she was aiming for a car Anyway, although alot of people think you can't reason with a two year old i think that telling them (after the tantrum of course) that that was not acceptable behaviour and the like WILL hit home eventually and my dd does understand most of what i tell her as she repeats it to anyone who'l listen I do think you must reassure yourself that you are in control, sometimes i feel like dd (2.8) runs everything including when i can have a wee, but then i remind myself that if i dont DO what she wants there and then, my (or her ) life won't fall apart! When it's the time of the month i take the odd "Calm" as i find we wind each other up! I feel like i'm ranting but i always think too, at the end of the day if she was a bit naughty and i'm telling her dad, i always try to think that she was probably only naughty for a very small percentage of the whole day and try to look at the positives alot more than the negatives! One final thing i do is ALWAYS follow through, never make idle threats of No treats or something as they are so wise! Anyway, i hope i don't sound like i'm preaching, just wanted to say hi and hopefully a little light in your tunnel Hope you feel a bit better soon, bye+

That was practically all one sentence, i was so into writing i forgot to take a breath!

Hi Angeliz - Thanks so much for tips - am feeling a lot calmer today. Everything you said made sense esp the follow thru thing which I am very guilty of not doing. Today has been better but of course there's still the bedtime hour of hell to come! Will take a deep breath and carry on...

I heard somewhere that the problems with the twos is that the fronal lobes of the brain aren't developed yet. This means they have no concept of perspective - mummy dying (sorry the worst example I could think of!) is just as traumatic as not getting the biscuit they want.

I find that if I think of it like that I find it loads easier not to get dragged into the emotional argument.

Melf, my dd is 3.5 and still has days like that. I particulary relate to the tantrum outside the school and the constant arguing with sibling.
But touch wood, iam starting to see some improvment and a maturing about her lately.
Trust me, I have days where I feel exactly as you do, and have even wondered why I had another baby, but she can also be v loving and i adore her really, but it is hard, these people with placid children don't know how hard it can be.
I find by the time they are 4 they are usually normal