Is it ok to still be crying for no reason 8 days after having a baby?

[Snowboarder]

I had my DS2 just over a week ago. He was a bit early 35+3 but did really well and came home with me after 3 days.

I struggled because I missed my eldest son who is just over a year old. I worry that 'dumping' him with his grandparents (although he loves them) has affected his bond with me and that he resents me. He too was early - he was 3 months premature, and his birth was traumatic so in a way I feel like I am reliving it even though this time has been very different.

I am EBF the new baby and my hormones feel all over the place. I haven't cried much but I feel very up and down emotionally and when I do cry it is gut wrenching, although I can't really explain why I'm upset.

Is it normal to still feel all over the place 8 days in or should I expect to be feeling better by now? I will mention it to the midwife when I see her tomorrow but could do with some reassurance or advice here.

Thanks

I think it is ok. I don't start crying until about two weeks after the birth, and then I have a very wobbly week.

Having said that, you obviously have a lot going on in your head, so if you feel it isn't ok please talk to your midwife/hv.

Also, please don't worry about your oldest child. Yes, there is adjusting to be done, but it will not damage your bond. It is fine, and healthy, for children to learn that mummy may go away for a bit but she always comes back and that other people can take care of them too.

Just wanted to send hug. I reckon it's normal. It's soo hard and you have additional stresses too. Hormones will be all over the place too. You will get through this x

Congratulations!
The short answer to youe question is YES of course it is okay to be crying...and there are lots of reasons...all of which you have given already.
Cry.cuddle your wee ones.sleep when you can and speak to tour midwife tomorrow :)

Absolutely normal

I started feeling very down about 8 days in too. And I don't think you are crying for no reason - you have had two traumatic experiences and of course that is likely to affect you!

Do speak to your midwife about it tomorrow, she should at least have some comforting words

If you continue to feel down, maybe consider counselling? Your GP can refer you. I've just started following DS's birth at 31+5.

Have a big hug from me and pm me if you just want someone to chat to?

It is probably normal! You have been through a lot. Keep an eye on it though. talk to the midwife. Accept support from your partner / parents / don't try to hide your emotions away. Your DS1 was only away for a couple of days, with people he loves. He's fine! Could be emotions from your DS1 when he was a baby resurfacing - that sounds like a difficult time. Cuddle your children? If you are still "blue" in a few days then do seek further help with the midwife you can't be too careful.

Congratulations on your new son

I thought that was normal. I did it after all 3 of mine. Mention to your MW now and if you still feel very low in another week, definitely flag it up again. Your ds1 won't have changed his bond with you, honestly. He's probably needing to adjust a bit to the new version of "normal" that comes with a new arrival, as you are, obv - try not to be so hard on yourself! hoping some of our lovely ladies who know more turn up soon :)

I think I cried every day for the first 6 weeks, even happy things made me cry! Its sounds normal to me.

I remember falling in to a total black hole with dd3 at about that point. It passes. It's awful for a day or two but it passes. If it doesn't then talk to the midwife and they will get you some help.

I cried everyday for a year. Looking back i probably had ppd, but no-one noticed

I was exactly the same! Kept feeling all emotional and crying for no reason!! DH was great and really supportive! After a couple weeks I started to feel less emotional!
Good luck!

It's totally normal to cry for that long. It really will get better, don't hesitate in asking for help if you need it. I'm sorry you're feeling that crap, I hope it goes away soon.

I did! I know they say the baby blues are over in a few days, but mine went for a good couple of weeks, and I would still well up at silly things for quite a while after that. And that was after an easy, fairly intervention-free first birth!.You've got a lot more on your plate emotionally than I did, I'm not surprised it's affecting you.

You should chat to the midwife regardless, because anything that might comfort you is good, and it's an excellent idea to keep people around you up to date on how you're feeling so that they can step in to help as needed - but at this stage don't panic that you're in for a full-on dose of PND, that'll only make you feel worse! If it's been a while longer and still doesn't stop, then might be the time to talk to a GP.

Easier said than done, I know, but please don't worry too much about your eldest. Any change in routine can make them act a bit edgy for a while, but he'll see that you are still there and still love him. And being left for a little while with people he know and loves will not have caused a problem, really it won't.

I think I cried every day at least once for the first couple of months. I sympathise - it does get better - and if it doesn't then see your GP