Is 11 too young to leave him at home while we are both at work

[tevion]

As you know the long summer holidays are almost upon us.
I have always worked casual hours in other words its my choice when I work and if I do the hours or not and how many I want to do.
Our financial siutation at the moment does mean that I need to be picking the hours up fulltime every week.
I can,t afford to take alot of time off like I have previously in school holidays.
Ds gets bored at his grandparents and when he is at home he spends most of his time happily playing xbox live and playing on hbis computer or watching tv.
My sister is next door so am sure she will be willing to pop in occasionally to see he is okay although she does go out alot.
He has a mobile phone at hand with mine and his dads number prgrammed in and also my sisters next door everyones number to be honest.
I have elft him at the most an hour and a half so far and just told him to get me on his mobile if need be and to not answer the door to anyone at all.
I leave the keys in the back door in case he needs to get out in a emergency.
If I leave him to go to the work in the holidays I am talking of him being on his own for roughly 6 and a half hours.
Do you think its okay.

there is no legal age

NSPCC guidelines suggest 12

I think you need to make the decision that's right for your family -if you think he is capable and won't be frightened being alone then do it

I'm sure you can ring him at lunch time to make sure he's up to make sure he's ok

I left my 11 year old today for 5.5 hours. He had the choice of sitting in the car all that time or staying home, and chose home. He did some school work and played xbox. I spoke to him once, just to let him know when I would be back. He was absolutely fine.

If you have a sensible child, and especially with your sister next door, I'd be happy to do it. If he gets bored, you can tweak the plan.

I wouldn't be bothered by anything the NSPCC say.

My worry would be, in addition to the physical dangers, online / on screen dangers. Would he have access to the internet? Less nice bits of cable tv? What games does he have for his X-box and are they in any way networked? Mobile phone with internet access? While 6.5 hours a day square eyed in front of suitable, filtered, age-appropraite media wouldn't be great, 6.5 hours with unfettered access to whatever - and whoever - the internet has to offer is another thing...

I happily leave my 11 year old alone. He usually sleeps in, plays some Xbox and then goes out with his mates. He's very good at locking up and taking a key. He has his mobile and Dh only works up the road.

There is no specific legislation and the NSPCC does not give a rule, just a guideline. Every adolescent is different. It would be fine as long as nothing happened. I left DD2 for 5 hours or so a day when she was 12. I always felt that if, for example, she had tripped over the cat and fallen down the stairs, the authorities would have thrown the book at me for being neglectful even though that kind of accident could happen whether I had been there or not.

I think its too long, mainly for the reasons whcih teacher gives but also would he not feel lonely?

Yes I think fine too, I leave DS1 (Year 7) alone for the day while I work when he has inset days and DS2 is at school. I only work 20 minutes away though (by bike so quicker in a cab) and just make sure I always have my phone on me. Not sure if I would do it every single day in the holidays but would definitely do at least 2 days per week. Not that I have any worries as DS1 is very sensible but I just think it's quite lonely for them.

too young imo

I very strongly agree with teacherwith2kids that, whatever you decide about leaving him, you should not allow a situation where your son (if he so chooses) has six hours' worth of unfettered internet access.

I was left alone all summer holidays when I was 11 as both my parents worked. I was pretty sensible kid though and could do everything around the house safely, infact I often had the tea on when they came in!

My brother on the other hand, Mum would worry about leaving him for two hours when he was 15.

Depends on the kid, in my opinion. That said I wouldn't want a kid having 8 hours on a xbox every day for 6 weeks! Could you not perhaps have 3 days at Grandparents, 2 days at home or something to see how he gets on. I think he would be bored stupid after week 1.

I was happy to leave my 11yo (now just turned 12) for the occasional 6 hour stretch, but I would not have been happy to have made this a regular occurrence, particularly not in the summer holidays when other kids are out having fun. Too much time to get bored and get into mischief. I would try to find some kind of organised activity.

My DD is 12 and DS 10 and i was going to leave them for 4 hrs 1 day a week ,just for 4 weeks in the holidays to , do basic hours at work to keep my job open ... i work 5 min away by foot , we have neighbours i could let know they are alone , and i would pop back half way to check all ok and dd has phone etc ...but now I'm not sure if I'm doing wrong thing ????

i may well worry so much any how .... other option is they will have to come with me and sit in staff room and wait ....

its really tough one as i do feel kids need to get more independent to , in a lot of ways be good for them ...i was left apt when 10 with my sister to who was 12 and we just got on with it and were fine ..
also kids clubs they already said they don't want to go to them , and to be honest cost a fortune so i would be working for nothing ...

I know a lot of people do this out of necessity - especially in the long summer holidays. I also know a lot of people who give their 11 yr old some money and a mobile and let them wander the streets with friends.

We have a 12 yr old and absolutely no way. The potential for getting into bother or up to mischief is too high. Its lonely being sat on your own all day - even with an X box.

One mother I was speaking to last week feel the same as us. Basically worried about what she is going to do next year when her son is 13 and no longer can go to holiday clubs.

I wouldn't mind mine going to clubs etc, but they are really too old now, at 12 and 14, as everything is aimed at primary age. Even at 11 they were generally the oldest, the others were all 5-8. There are a very few things for older kids, and mine are doing some of them (week's activity camp for one, and a week's theatre group, while the other is doing surfing this week) but it's hard to get them interested in going - if they were younger I would just make them go to something, but at this age I think they can choose to stay home if they'd rather.

theres no way i can afford holiday clubs etc ..for 2 its so expensive , so I'm planning to doing my absolute MIN hours at work to keep my job ...

allpastyears your so right there is very little if anything for those above 10 , is aimed at little ones ..
my 2 point blank don't want to go to clubs.

i have asked friends trying to help others and pull in favours , but i have added prob as not many have boy /girl like mine , age etc so will have to split , then one doesn't want to go there and the other doesn't want to go there ...plus a lot of my friends do leave there DC now so don't need favour back ...

the law doesn't give a minmum age, there is a phrase along the lines of suitable age which obviously depends on situation.

I wouldn't do it for this many days over whole summer, would possibly for occasional one offs, but still would be very concerned. It is just too easy for stuff to happen.

I was out recently. dh works upstairs, ds was ill and on sofa watching tv. He watched solid Jeremy Kyle and then I spent a week dealing with the questions. Not a crime but just really not what I would want my ds to be soaking up for 6 weeks.

Sister next door does make a difference. Can you arrange something with her where he comes over for lunch, and stays at hers for a couple of hours. Mix and match a bit so he doesn't have whole days alone?

I would leave DD for 2 or three hours at the most, never for 6 every day.

Hmm.. I think it depends on the maturity of your child. At that age my mum worked full time and got home at 6. I'd get home from school around 3.15pm, let myself in with my own key and be on my own until she came home. I think I was able to cope with this fine at the time, but as a long term thing I think it was not the right thing. Short term I'd say it's alright provided the child has the emotional maturity to deal with this, long term (as it was for me) I think it's not a good idea as it's too much responsibility too young.

There's nothing actually wrong with being a bit bored at grandparent's houses.

Totally dependant on the child. I known an 11 yr old that would be fine, and I know an 11 yr old whose parent did this, and he was a bugger.

This is the sort of question that can't be answered here OP, because it is solely down to the nature of your child, sorry.

I was leaving my 11 year old for 3 hours a day when I was working during school hols. I wouldn't have any left her sooner or for much longer though. And it so much depends on the child too. Is he happy to be left, that's paramount.