Crappy parent alert

[niceglasses]

Hi, I haven't been on here for a while, though I used to browse quite a bit. Sorry if this seems greedy asking for a bit of help straight away, but am struggling a bit at mo.

Have 3 kids, eldest 5 starte scl in Sept, middle one 3 and youngest, only girl is 18mths. Left my pt job when had last one, full time sahm. Just feel so trapped and bored, bored bored and probably boring boring boring for my kids as well. I can't think of anything to do except go to playgroups with the 2 younger ones (the 3 yr old doesnt really enjoy them now). When they all come home after picking up the eldest from schl (and middle one goes for 2 half hrs to church run playgroup) I can't think of anything to do but watch telly and cook tea, its awful. We sometimes go out or read books but I'm crap at thinking of creative things to do. What do you all do? I am a bit depressed I admit......lots of reasons, where do I start being a better mum? Feel quite low at moment about it all. Any ideas?
Sorry

get out of the house!
I sometimes struggle and I only have one little boy. I often just feel like sitting here all day, and realy have to force myself out of the house, but once I am out I generally enjoy it!

We're lucky enough to be able to walk down to a duck pond to feed the ducks. We try and go out for a walk each day... tires ds out and we both get some fresh air.

You could also do some activities with them... colouring, stickers, making biscuits (if you can take the mess!)

Do you have any friends with similar aged kids? Could you arrange one morning a week where you meet up somewhere else?

Thanks for replying SL - most of my friends have gone back to work now having sensibly stopped at 2 kids!! So I guess thats part of the problem being a bit isolated. More fresh air sounds like a good idea.......

You sound like I would be if I were at home FT. I only have one ds but I do find it hard to think of things to do on the days I'm home. It must be incredibly hard for you.

I think you really need to meet some more SAHM's. Are there any women at the playgroups you go to who you might like to meet more. Why not ask them to vist and have a playdate or just meet up in the park.

You haven't said much about your situation but is it possible for you to get any time to yourself at all even just an hour or two a week?

Think of the time spent on you as an investment for the kids, once you are feeling happier you will be able to give more to the kids - I know that is true for me.

In my experience when you start feeling better about yourself, being with the kids will seem more fun and you may think of things to do.

yes, definitely walks to park or ducks are good. I would say as well though, lighten up on yourself! You have three children and that's like a mini playgroup in itself for your children; they have ready made playmates and will be getting lots of stimulation from just being with eachother, so i think you need to worry less about it!

When your school child is at home, that's 'down' time anyway for them, they need a bit of time just to chill and be a carefree child again, and your youngest is I'm sure just as happy playing about while you cook as she would be if you took her to the ducks!

I would go for drawing, finger painting and playdough as good activities too because you can start them off and zoom off to see to dinner, but keep coming back to them to help as necessary.

I remember lots of school evenings when my mum was cooking the dinner, just laying about watching blue peter - it was great!

Thanks girls, the ideas are helping. Have quite supportive husband but he works very long hours - out at 7 back at 7 and sometimes later. No real other help - mum doesn't get too involved but would in an emergency. Work 2 nights per week - 6 - 10 and arranging childcare for that is a nightmare, thinking of giving up the job because of that. Trying to do OU course but never have any time and thinking of giving that up too...bummer. Husband good but doesn't really understand why I need time away from kids (er because I will kill them and me and possibly him)

it sounds like you have a lot on your plate, which never helps.
I know when I am stressed and have a lot of things to do I get quite short with ds

Do you need to work for financial reasons? or could you give it up?
Do you like getting out for the evening? or is it something you could do without right now?

Maybe if you can afford to you should give up your job and concentrate on your OU course (or vice versa)

Once you feel happier with what you are doing then I am sure everything with the kids will feel that bit easier too

You're defintely not a crappy parent - just a human! I feel a lot like you do with only one (ds is 2.8), and I often think it's due to not having enough 'me' time so I then feel refreshed and more up for a bit of creative parenting.

Having said that, even when refreshed I struggle to think of things to do as my ds isn't interested in painting/craft activities, and I find going out in this cold weather a bit of an effort.

Maybe things will feel better as spring starts to creep in - the outside world will be more enticing and the sunshine will boost everyone's spirits.

Here's hoping that spring and summer cheer you up a bit. Good luck!

what about soft play areas or some of those cafes where they do story telling/puppet shows for 30 mins once a week (I know a couple in North London). Look for something where you are taking the kids out but once there you can sit back with a coffee while someone else entertains them/they entertain themselves?