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Do you think my ds needs more help

2 replies

crazedupmom · 05/07/2012 11:18

Okay I am sorry if its a bit of a long one but I don,t know where to start with ds to be honest but here we go.
Previous to the junior school that ds is at now he was at another where problems occured where ds hated the smells from the school canteen it got to the stage where he would be begging to be let off school due to the smell we were also having similar things happen at home with smells.
He has also from say about the age of 8 being a child who has lacked in confidence and doesn,t seem to do even now some of the things that children of his age just do.
Some examples have been he won,t walk to school on his own unless he is with his mate, he will not walk to the shop for me as he will say he is scared.
I must add that ds is now 11 he is a only and I beat myself up day in day out that maybe this hasn,t helped the way he is.
He does have mates at school who I sometimes make the effort to invite back after school but I am aware that he is getting too old for me to do this now, there are no mates out of school he won,t join in any clubs etc.
The latest thing has been that he thinks none of my family like him as they pay more attnetion to the little ones in our family which is true but people do tend to do that with the smaller ones I expect.
He thinks he is ugly and it doesn,t matter how much I say otherwise he is convinced he is.
There is no bullying going on he is insistent of that, nobody has told him he is ugly he says.
He has struggled at school and has behind where he should be but he is doing much better now and has recieved extra help.
He avoids social events where the emphasis maybe on him like the plague such as going up and collecting a well done certificate in school assembly he will not take any speaking part in a play.
Ds will literally go into meltdown before such an event and cry and moan he doesn,t want to do it.
The latest trouble is that he can,t get to sleep at night, he is either too warm, or feels sick or simply can,t sleep and he will sometimes end up in mine and his dads bed as he says it is cooler.
He has just been invited on a holiday with his mate at school and he was extremely anxious about it mainly the getting to sleep at night.
He did go but we had to compromise that me and his dad would book into a hotel as well close to where they was going in case he couldn,t settle at night this was arranged between myself and his mates parents just in case.
I really wanted him to go to get confidence staying away as he is moving up to secondary school this september and he will miss out terribly as they aree likely to take them away on trips etc.
However it didn,t work out as we ended up collecting him the second day and brigning him home as he felt sick couldn,t sleep etc.
I must say that ds has had stomach scans, blood tests, due to the feeling sick and stomach ache but they all came back normal.
He has also seen cahms and was diagnosed as suffering from low level anixety they also did a speech and language assesment and he scored within his age range with regards to understanding etc.
I am not sure what else I can do.
Was wondering if anyone has had any similar experience with this sort ofd thing as I am really concerned.
Once again I am sorry if this has been far too long.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
CogitoErgoSometimes · 05/07/2012 13:04

I think this has developed beyond low level anxiety and has become rather more like a phobia. If he's already thinking 'I won't be able to go to sleep' he's in that unfortunate cycle where the anticipation is enough to be frightening even without the trigger. 'Feeling sick' etc is obviously the anxiety rather than physical.

He does need to build his confidence and that will be achieved by him tackling very small challenges (at first), succeeding and moving onto slightly bigger challenges. If walking to the shop is no-go, try a nearer destination. He probably needs extra help with some calming techniques so that he can overcome the anticipation fears. If, when thinking abut a night away for example, his anxiety level is '10' he can be taught how to bring that down to 9, 8, 7, 6...

I'd also recommend you learn the same calming techniques. If you know he's going to be anxious and this makes you apprehensive enough to book hotel rooms etc. then that risks feeding the fear. BTW. Only children are not automatically handicapped by their sibling-free status.

flowerflo · 06/07/2012 14:03

I just wonder if it's worth asking if he can be investigated for a sensory processing disorder. These are often misdiagnosed but can be very problematic and cause lots of anxiety in children. It can be treated by an Occupational Therapist who has training in sensory integration. This site has a checklist so you could see if it seems like him www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-processing-disorder-checklist.html

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