How much time do you actually spend with your (small) children?

[DitaVonCheese]

I just feel as though I spend about 90% of my time doing tedious household tasks and almost no time at all actually interacting with my DC. It's not even as though I'm houseproud.

Today 3.5 yo DD had preschool until half 12. Picked her up and 11 mo DS fell asleep on the way home. When we got in DD wanted to play games on my computer so I set that up for her and she wanted me to play too so played with her for a little while. Then DS woke up so abandoned DD to go and clear away the breakfast things (told you I wasn't houseproud) so DS and I could have lunch. Had lunch, DD sat with us. Then had to clear away lunch things and hang up two loads of washing (which have needed hanging up since yesterday - did I mention the not houseproud thing?) before DD and I made cakes. Then washed up and had to call dentist while DD tried to get me to sing with her/play hide and seek etc.

It doesn't actually sound too bad written down, but the entire time that I'm not directly interacting with DD she's asking me for something and it feels like I say "I just need to ..." a couple of hundred times a day. Meanwhile I'm also having to retrieve DS from halfway up/the top of the stairs about every six minutes and also every 20 minutes or so trying to get him to nap as he's clearly knackered but won't go back to sleep.

I just feel that there aren't many years they'll at home and I seem to spend most of the day saying "Not now" and doing tedious little unavoidable things just to keep us chugging along with out ever even approaching the dizzying heights of the house being actually clean and/or tidy. And MNing, obviously, but in my defence I was NAK when I started.

Maybe I need a timer? Though I do now have a 20 minute window before I need to start cooking dinner so will see if DD wants to do something ... :)

You're around, you're available if they need you. You don't need to be actively doing stuff with them, it teaches them independence - just enjoy being around them and don't put yourself under pressure.

I used to feel a bit like you do.

I have 2 dc who are 3yrs and nearly 2yrs.

We?ve got ourselves into a sort of routine now where I do something with them every morning, that could be a group or the park , swimming or baking, painting whatever at home. After lunch dc2 goes down for a nap and dc1 gets half hour on the iPad then I spend half hour doing puzzles or reading or something else quiet with him. After 2.30/3pm though they have to entertain themselves while I sort out housework and do dinner.

I figure as long as I?m around to answer questions/break up fights (who knew sibling fights would occur so young?) then it?s fine to leave them to themselves for a while.

Yes, sounds normal to me too. They are learning to entertain themselves, knowing you are there. And you have done activities with them too. Don't stress.

I've been wondering the same thing, as I constantly put 3.5yo off with "in a minute", "I've just got to wash up first" etc etc. I switch between thinking it's good for her to learn the world doesn't revolve around her, and thinking she might grow up thinking mummy doesn't have any time for her . I do try to always spend some time reading stories or playing with her during DD2's nap. I'm hoping that that just 'being around' is enough rather than actively focusing on her a lot of the time.

I struggle with this, although I only have one DS (2.5 y.o.).

We go out in the mornings and then come home and nap. Afterwards, we read a book, have lunch, clear up breakfast & lunch (we're not houseproud either ), sort the washing out, do necessary tidying or other jobs. Then it's usually 4.30 or even 5pm, and I need to start dinner. On a good day we make it out for some exercise first.

I try to involve DS in the boring stuff - he loads & programmes the washing machine, 'helps' hang laundry, joins in the tidying, puts out the recycling etc. I write a to-do list on his easel and he loves crossing off the different items.

I do feel bad though that I rarely have time to properly play or do fun stuff with him.

In fact, DS has started saying, "What job do we need to do next?" "What jobs do we need to do tomorrow?" "After toddler group, what jobs do we need to do?" He never asks what we're going to play!

DC2 is due in the autumn and I've no idea how we'll manage.

When I've got round to using it, a timer has helped. I've either done x mins of housework then I'll play with DS, or x mins of playing, then housework.

Thanks, I was having a bit of a wobble. It helped to write it down and see I had done some stuff with her and I do know it's good for her to play by herself etc, I'd just forgotten

Today we had preschool in the morning then we went to the park for a bit then she had a haircut and then we went home and I told her she needed to play by herself for a while as I needed a sit-down and some guilt free MNing