How do I stop carrying DS?

[AKMD]

DS is 2.4. We haven't had a pushchair for him since he started doing outside walks, the grand idea being that he would get used to walking. This has backfired spectacularly as I usually end up carrying him around. I'm now 5 months pg and he is too heavy for me to carry over anything other than a short distance. I also know that I won't be able to carry him around when the baby arrives!

How do I teach him to walk vaguely sensibly? If he doesn't want to walk he will wrap his arms around my knees and wail until I pick him up. If he does want to walk then it isn't in the direction we need to go in and he is not past bolting off in a carpark or towards a road. If I put reins on him (tried both back-pack style and traditional) then he crawls along the ground like a dog

What do I dooooo?!

No answers but marking my place because DD (nearly two) is exactly the same.

I'm going to get shot down in flames here, but get him a harness. He can't run off either away from you or into the road, and you can catch him if he falls (so at least he doesn't hit the ground too hard). Refuse to pick him up, even if you have to make up a sad story (my back hurts, you're too big now, my arms hurt etc). He will probably have a melt-down the first time you refuse, but he will soon get the idea.

And hold the reins up! Occasionally lower him to the ground and wait for him to get up. Then carry on.

Walk 'to' something noticeable that's about 10 yards away. Lampost, noticeboard, patch of dandelions etc. "Who can get to the post box first? Mummy or AKMD Junior?" When you get there, repeat. We've done walking holidays for many years and that's how we get the tinies interested enough to keep going in a straight line. "Ooh look! A cow-pat...."

If he holds your legs, refuse to move until he lets go. You will have a frustrating week or two, but it will be worth it.

Not too many cow pats around my way :o Sounds like a good idea though, maybe in combination with reins so he can't run into the road.

One thing I have found that works is for him to have a pull-along toy but I am not unselfconscious enough to let him pull Mr Crocodile everywhere we go for the next 2 years.

I did try just ignoring him when he hung onto my legs but he is more stubborn than I am.

it is so hard and i know the frustration. i had a DS who walked happily everywhere and a DD (now 3.4) who would still go in a buggy given the chance. distraction distraction distraction is the key. the amount of 'let's see who can spot the first dog poo' competitions we have had on the way to school is no odd's to anyone!! and i am not ashamed about it. she loves spotting dog poo - and sadly there is loads of it where we live.

now she is a bit older, we collect 'flowers' (dandelions / daisies / clover - oh yes) to press when we get home

when you are out and about in town, try to spot something interesting to get him going again - even if it is just walking as far as the busker or something.

oh and finally - sometimes you just have to be very very patient. a week ago, my DD staged a sit-in on the drive at school. i waited 53 minutes for her to decide that she was going to walk home because she wanted me to carry her. eventually, she got bored and pretty much ran all the way home. it took about 8 minutes once she got going. fortunately we had nothing on that morning....

oh and OP - you need to refind that stubborn gene. it will serve you well in years to come, when you have 2 of them...

When I was 5 1/2 months pregnant with DS2 I went through this with DS1. After 45 minutes of sitting there while he threw a tantrum over not wanting to walk I sort of gave up. I ended up holding one of each of his hands in my hands, him facing forwards, and sort of pushed him with my leg, all the way to the car park. Granted, he wasn't actually walking, but both of his feet were on the ground, and it certainly made a point. Figured it was kinder than dragging him, and as I had told him flatly that I was NOT carrying him I knew I had to stick to it. It worked, although he thew tantrums again over walking they were never that bad.

You have to get tough, and last longer than him.

DD is the same, slightly younger at 23 months and I'm only 14 weeks pregnant but already getting tired when carrying as she's a solid girl.

She's normally pretty good with the reins but when she doesn't want to move can be incrediably stubborn.

You may not want to hear it but we've resorted to using a pushchair again, a faff but easier than arguing with her all the time when we're in a rush. When we've the time I take Todays approach at it is starting to work [fingers cross]

oh and get in there early with the bribery. i now tell DD that if she walks down to school and back without whingeing, she can move up on her reward chart.

We had a balance bike for ds it was great! That in combination of holding the dog lead (I put her on two and held one myself, ds held one and held my hand) meant we made progress on pavements as well as round the park.

Is he old enough for a reward chart?

I will practise stubborn. DC2's pushchair has a buggyboard so I'm hoping that will help too.

Potty training and walking training this summer. Fun fun fun.

get a scooter or a balance bike

I second the bike idea. My two have little tykes motor bikes and they sit on them and push them as far as the park and back.

Mine are 3 and 4 and I still bring the buggy everywhere. DS2 sits in it usually, but if he refuses at least I have someplace to store all my crap (bags and coat).

I would either insist on buggy or walking, one or the other - no lifting it's his choice.

(Or other alternative is the balance bike/scooter - The problem with the bike is if he throws a hissy fit, you'll be lumbered with carrying it as well)

buggy board is fine. and then if he wants to walk, he has to hold the buggy handle... scooters etc are fine but then, as others say, you do tend to end up carrying them.

never too early to start bribery, OP. it may or may not work. my DS is very easily bribed; my DD took longer to get the hang of it

I read (in this book) that being able to follow along is developmental, rather than behavioural, so you can't 'teach' your child to do it before he is ready. Why not just pop him in the pushchair? I'm sure everyone's strategies ^^ here work, but why not just let him work it out himself and take the pressure off the both of you?

I tell dd to chase me if she wants to get up in my arms. She can't run very fast so it was easy to keep ahead whilst pregnant. By the time she caught me, she'd have forgotten or we'd have reached home.

Or start walking like a loon and ask him to copy, waving arms or taking big, exhaggerated step.

Cogito's advice is brilliant. Also do in the supermarket. 1. Make SURE you have a list before you go! Then, 'I want you to do a big job for me, and help Mummy shop. Go and find, one red apple'. The time it takes, you will be able to do most of your veg.

Dairy aisle - bottle of milk
bread aisle - loaf of bread
etc etc.

I remember DS was devastated when the new baby arrived. He was so sad. I was a betrayer, and had chosen another over him. Please honour these feelings they are so real!

If mine refuse to walk, and we're not near roads, i walk a little bit away, waving, going ' bye, i'm going home/wherever' works most times. I would also suggest going back to taking the pushchair for a while - he can walk, but you make it clear when he refuses that it's walk or go in the pushchair. stick to it - you may have to forcibly put him in, and he won't like it but he'll soon realise you won't pick him up. I did this with dd1, and in the middle of it with dd2. proof it works - dp often caved in, and even now dd1 will occasionally ask for a carry at nearly 5, whereas she hasn't asked me since she was 2 1/2.

We were very strict about the no carrying - it was buggy or walk. If he held his arms up to be picked up we picked him up and gave him a hug and a kiss and put him back down again - not taking a step! But we did this from when he started walking - so easy to keep going once established.

Thanks everyone. I've started gently today - walking from the car to nursery (!), from the car into the house (another !) and a long walk around our local park. He's done really well and the only time I picked him up was when he bolted in the carpark at the park I can't hear any singing from upstairs so it looks like even that has tired him out!