Just lost it with my 2.6 year old DD...

[skorpion]

I know, I know... just need to get it down and out of my system.

Had a not bad day, really, all day at home with her and her 9 month old sister. About half an hour ago I asked her to tidy up some dry pasta she chucked around the lounge floor. Tidy up or no cbeebies. Asked once, twice, fifteen times (there goes 'calmer, happier bloody parenting'...), saw red and screamed at her, threw something against the wall. Picked up the bloody pasta myself. Screamed into a pillow upstairs... She's watching TV.

I know, she does not understand the cause and effect (no tidying, no TV), she's only a baby, once you get into an argument you have lost it. I know all the theory and yet I cannot seem to stop the red mist descending.

I am horrible. I think I scared her today. I have seen the GP about pos pnd, awaiting referral for cbt. It will probably take weeks and sometimes I just do not know what to do not to just go out the door and not come back... I am scared that I will be, am, one of those mothers people takl about on Relationships board.

She's my first born, I cannot stand the thought of something happening to her and yet I am so horrible to her myself...

I'll go give her a cuddle now. Tomorrow is another day.

When DS was a baby, there were times when it got too much and I had to put him in a safe place and walk away. That advice still applies now he is 2.4, although it's a bit more difficult now that he can run after me!

Forget about the CBeebees/pasta thing and wait until you've really calmed down until you go and give her a cuddle. It's more important that she's safe than that she understands consequences right now.

Hug for you too!

dunno but I am pretty much in the same situation myself

saw the hv today for referrals, 8.5 month DS, 2.4 DD who I have been extra shouty at :(

Yes, my patience with DD1 went out the window as soon as DD2 arrived. I just can't stop myself from blowing up.

I will try removing myself from the situation when I can see the signs. It is so stupid, I seem to know exactly how I should react and what to do and yet at the precise moment it all goes.

the moment he starts crying I lose my patience, even when I know it doesn't matter e.g. taking a little longer to get ready but we're in no rush. I think I am taking out my frustrations on something more real than DS being a hard baby.

The problem is with a toddler that you often aren't in a safe place where you can just walk away. A tantrum in the middle of a crowded shopping centre isn't exactly conducive to that particular stress reliever! The next best thing I've found is just picking up DS, ignoring thrashing, hitting, kicking, screaming etc. and getting him into the car asap. There is no point trying to administer discipline when I'm about to lose it too.

I sometimes wonder if it is me, anger issues or something like that. It happens usually when she doesn't listen to me. Funnily enough I can take tantrums, ignore, wait it out, don't feel embarassed about them.

What I am ashamed of is my own short temper with her... Then I wonder where she gets it from.

I have to keep reminding myself that she's only little. I wish I could be so calm and resolved about it as I am now, at that one moment.

ClimbingPenguin, I hope you don't have to wait too long for the referrals, I was not even told how long it could take.

proper temper tantrums are fine with me, I realise it's just them being too stimulated or tired and I am very calm. When she lays down on the floor when at shops etc. it makes me laugh a little bit.

thanks skorpion

I too have a short temper and your post sounded like me when mine were a little bit younger! Not something i'm proud of but sometimes i did lose it (just shouting and screaming at them!)
I know it sounds rather sad but i did try the supernanny approach i.e. make sure you get down to their level, get eye contact, speak clear instructions in a low tone (authority - not shouting) voice (i.e. i want you to pick up the pasta on the floor now otherwise i will put you on the naughty step). If (when!) they dont do it, its off to naughty step!
I finally gave in to this approach when my eldest was 3 and i have to say it worked for us in a relatively short space of time but you do have to follow it to the letter, be consistent and follow through! And it can take a week or so which is pretty hard work.
But shouting at them is not a crime and they have short memories so i'm sure no harm done, we all do it sometimes.
BTW at 2.6 i do think she is old enough to understand basic instructions and consequences.