Any tips re 3 year old behaviour?

[blondie72]

I have a 3.5 year old (DD) and a 9 month old. A few things we are struggling with:

1. How do I stop my daughter heavy handling my 9 month old? I have tried everything and now try to leave him in a play pen all day but he is getting bored and screams the house down.

1. Running away. Sometimes she does this because she's distracted, other times it's a game, watching me run after her.

1. Not listening. I'm sure most mothers have had this but just wondering if there is a way round it. There doesn't seem any point telling her off if it's just not going in!

Thanks in advance!

1. - be on hand whenever 9 month old is not in the play pen. Difficult, but essential

1. - if it's happening out and about, buy a harness. If she runs away, catch her and put the harness on.

3 - Not listening - good luck with that one! I find that there needs to be a consequence to the not listening. What's the point in a telling off if there's not a consequence of some sort.

not sure - have more or less the same age gap (dd2 is 7 months) - we have all of these things, 2 not so much. But obstinate defiance, too. The heavy handling you have to be strict about - separate them, give a consequence, however small. The stuff with the baby is always (1) when dd1 isn't getting enough attention (yes, it works!) or (2) when the baby is being fussed over. Separating them is sometimes necessary, but doesn't solve it - ask dd to do something helpful and involve her (this works, actually) and show her over and over and over how to play with her baby brother.

Not listening: haven't a clue, other than repeating my instruction over and over in a calm, even voice; eventually she will give in.

Good luck - it's tough, and I think quite a hard gap - the older child is articulate and keen to do stuff, but doesn't have the emotional maturity to cope without a lot of help/direction/support