How to co-sleep safely?

[luckysocks]

I'm desperate :(

DD is nearly 5 weeks old. At the moment, she wakes up the second she goes down into her moses basket, no matter how much time I give her to settle beforehand.

I've hardly slept for weeks and I'm broken.

But when she's in with me I don't sleep either as I'm so worried about rolling over and squishing her.

Are there any tips which make co-sleeping safer?

TIA

You can get a kind of side-car cot that attaches to your bed. I got a Brio bedside cot from eBay for the impending arrival of DC2 but you can also get one from Mothercare, the NTC and Amazon.

You can do it with just your bed though. We did with DS when, like you, we'd had enough and needed some rest. There are some good tips for safe co-sleeping in your bed here.

Although it was a pain (literally) I slept in what I was advised was the 'safe' position- on my side, bottom arm going out, along the pillow iyswim, so that DS couldn't work his way up into the pillows and overheat, knees slightly bent to stop him working his way down.

Dress your DD very lightly, a onesie with a little blanket will do, as they will be warm enough next to you.

Make sure mattress is firm. I was lucky in that our bed was very low and against a wall, but if there's any chance they could wiggle out pop some pillows down. We also took the decision that DP would sleep in the other bed so it was just me and DS.

As long as you are sober and not ill, you will not roll onto her, or squash her. I would really recommend it- my baby was the same in that he wouldn't go in the Moses basket, and it's very common. Co-sleeping, although I had never even heard of it, let alone considered it, meant that I spent the first few months of his life pretty well rested.

Good luck, hope it works out.

Whilst its warm(ish) I've got rid of my duvet entirely: a good cotton topsheet (7WO DS is on top) and then a blanket from my waist down.

Also yes to the safe position and obviously make sure DC is not near the edge of the bed.

if you BF, then co-sleeping is safe.

you must not drink or smoke (smoke ever, drink before bed), and the baby must not go under the adults' covers or near the pillow.

bfing is safe - if you bf lying down, you can hook your arm over the top of the baby's head, so the baby can reach your boob, and wrap your arms around her.
in this position you can't roll onto her, nor can anyone else squash her or her fall out of the bed.

there is loads of info here by the NCT

We put a rolled up towl "sausage" around our LO (she was between us in superking size bed) so that she could not wriggle down from the head-end of the bed and get underneath our duvet and we knew we'd feel the rolled up towel instantly should we roll towards our LO, but to be honest, you just wont. Co-sleeping is safe as long as baby is not too hot and is not using pillows or adult duvets.

We had this unbelievable product (DS is still only 14 weeks and just moved to a cot), which is a tiny co sleeper mattress (amazon - 'first years nature sensations sleep positioner'), cost about £15 and our DS loved it. It was super safe and made our DS feel comforted when we travelled as it was a familiar feeling for him when he went to sleep.

Thanks for the advice and recommendations.

henrysmama I couldn't find the product you mentioned - I wonder if you could post a link?

I used a cot with one side taken right off placed right next to the bed, so my DC could have all their own bedding but be right near me. I also used a baby sleeping bag, or kept them lying on their own blanket when I dragged them into the bed to feed them - that way when you put them back in the cot, they don't wake because they don't get the cold sensation on their backs of being laid down somewhere new.

I have a friend who reckoned a futon was best for co-sleeping because it is very firm so the baby doesn't roll into you so much.

Hi lucky socks I just did a search and i can't find it on amazon anymore, so I am going to see if I can find it somewhere else and post a link

Ps the other thing that worked great was a baby bath with a big soft blanket right between me and my DH, he really liked that too and it is also really safe

I just found it on a google.co.uk search - for some reason it seems to be more expensive (£25ish) from some sellers-you can see a pic of it about half way down the first Google search results page (it has a frog on one side and a caterpillar on the other). Hope that helps

ah - got it :) thanks henrysmama!

That could be a really good idea actually, I'm thinking about getting one of those.

We tried it last night, DD slept much better and didn't want to feed until 5am (last feed 10.30pm - impressive).

I, on the other hand, hardly slept at all... I was all contorted and cold and DD sounds alternately like a kitten, a screeching car and some sort of pig beast. I guess I was in a lighter sleep due to squishing concerns as I don't usually notice the nighttime noises unless she starts to grizzle

I reckon on balance I still slept more than I have done recently, so I might persevere tonight.

In the early days I'd wake up at any tiny noise our LO made-I think it's like some sort of super mummy hearing that we all get when they are tiny, or something DH never had that issue he'd sleep through anything but major crying!! I think u might need a bit of time to get used to the grumbles without waking up, too - as soon as u get more accustomed to that you will sleep better