Bedtime logistics with 2.5 & 1 year old. How to do it alone.

[doughnutty]

What's your routine?

Atm dh is always home to at least take dd (1 yr) into her room, feed her and put her down. While I read ds a couple of stories on the sofa, he has his milk during these, then I take him up to bed. They have a bath before this which is fine single handed. Dd still feeds to sleep (or at least drowsiness) but takes a good 10 mins to drink and snuggle. Dd is desperate for bed while ds could maybe, possibly tolerate a slightly later bedtime.

Dh is about to start a new job which means it's possible he might not get home til after bedtime at least some of the time.

We had hoped to put them both in a room together but ds has just recently gone into a big boy bed and is playing up occassionally. Too much to disturb dd who is a fabulous sleeper.

Any tips to reach this outcome too would be useful.

I would bathe together, take both into DS's room for a bedtime story togther, put DS in bed then take DD to her room for her bedtime milk and snuggle. DS could have his milk either downstairs before bathtime, or during storytime.

ok so I did this Monday - Friday since birth as DH not home till 8pm.

Mine shared from 6months. I thought that DS2 would wake up DS1 but he didn't even when he cried. I would rethink the sharing - it does make things on your own easier as you can do stories , milk and settling (mine liked a song) all in one room.

Meg the problem is she won't sit long for a story because she's so ready for her milk. I can't hold her to feed her and hold and read a book at the same time.
In an ideal world she'd be bathed, storied and fed before ds but, even with both dh and I around that seems ridiculous.

I had thought of giving ds a bowl of cereal instead of milk (which he sometimes leaves) which he could eat on his own while I sit with dd and feed her in the next room but I can envisage both crying when I can't split myself in two. Ds eats so quickly though and doesn't need another meal, frankly Doesn't help that dd's room is downstairs and ds's is upstairs.

tbh I think you need to work out a way to give the baby her milk and read a story at the same time to your older DS. There will be a way - lateral thinking - DS holds the book or something.

And think seriously about them sharing....

I used to bath them both then settle ds1 in his room with a puzzle and a story tape. Then I went to feed ds2 and he went down, then I went and read to ds1. Sometimes ds1 put himself to sleep if he was very tired but normally they both got time alone before bed.

Like the idea of a story on cd. Just need to buy a cd player. And some cd's!!

Tried the first change tonight and read stories in his bed, though dh dealt with dd. Think we'll move her cot up tomorrow and have a go at it.

I am just such a pessimist I'm afraid it'll be a nightmare. I like routine just as much as ds does. I hate the uncertainty and can see everythingbeing a shouty, tantrumy, crying match just when my energy is all but gone.

I have nothing but admiration and awe for people who do this all day, everyday, on their own. Makes me feel guilty for worrying so much. I am lucky dh has been around everynight for a year.

Any recommendations of audio books or suggestions on what to avoid. We have the tiger who came to tea which is popular in the car. Don't want anything too loud which might disturb dd.

I put them both in the bath, then put DD1 in front of something quiet on cbeebies iplayer on the laptop in my bed while I give DD2 her milk & put her down. Then stories for DD1 & bed. I would like to tweak the routine so that it doesn't involve telly, maybe I should try an audio book too.

Ds loves telly too and that would be an obvious fix but he needs less of it, not more. If I plonked him down in front of ITNG he'd sit quietly while I sorted dd. But, I have 'the guilt' over using tv a bit too much. Maybe that's why I'm so worried about this change. And why I'm determined to do it without telly no matter what cruel and unusual punishment they can inflict on me.

I have a 2.2 ye old and a 4 month old.
Our routine varies but usually I either feed youngest on my bed with eldest sitting beside me reading stories (I mean books she can flick through herself like board books, that's not my mermaid etc). Then put baby to bed, take toddler through for bedtime stories.

If baby in a good mood she sometimes comes into toddlers room for the stories.

Usually my evenings involve a bit of to and fro ing between the two of them.

I think there's a gina ford routine for baby plus toddler. Might be worth having a quick peek at the bedtime bit (borrow from library or maybe google). Though I don't know if your youngest might be a bit old to be classed as a baby iykwim?

For some reason I didn't notice your past post before typing my message. I think I'd use the tv if I were you.
Unfortunately that doesn't work for me. DD only happy watching tv if she's sat on my lap. Clingy little thing!

Use the television. Better for him to be calm and relaxed before bed than anxious and agitated. I did this when mine were little, it's not too long before they can start having stories together but needs must...

Another here who uses the tv, maybe cut down on daytime watching so this is special. DD1 (3) watches tv after bath time while DD2 (1) has a bottle story and bed. Then DD1 has teeth brushed, story and bed. 7pm for baby, 7:30 for toddler.

I'll probably try other options before tv, though I know it would work.

I shouldn't feel guilty about the tv. He loves it but, given the choice he'd rather we sit with a book and read for hours. But life with two means that doesn't happen as often as i'd like.

Actually doughnutty you've inspired/reminded me, I need to crack on with getting the tv out of the routine.

3yr old and 1yr old here. We've moved milk to before bath, so its had down stairs now, but while baby was still feeding to sleep, we did the following:

Everyone upstairs, toddler into bath, add baby in. Take baby out, into sleepwear, toddler out, in to PJ's. Teeth together. Into toddler room, snuggle toddler into bed, feed baby and read a story - tho since we normally have to read one of about 5 books, I know it well enough to not have to "read" it all, iyswim?

Take sleepy baby to cot, come straight back to toddler, talk about what we did today/ are going to do tomorrow, kisses and walk out.

I can actually do it faster on my own when DH is away than when he helps! Mornings are also easier with just one - tho it then involves TV!

Its honestly not as bad as you fear - tho its easier if you do a little prep so you have everything you need before you start rather than having to run around finding things.

Well, last night didn't go as well as hoped. Took til 8.30 to get them both settled. Normally done by 7.15 at the latest. dh and I were starving and ate separately. Haven't had to do that since dd was around 4 months.
Dd is too used to quiet and was distracted so much she wouldn't settle and cried all through.ds' stories. Then she pooed! Ended up with ds in our bed til she finally slept. He was good tho despite the change and stayed in bed alone looking at books while dd had her bottle.

Almost worth it for the giggles this morning when they woke and were chatting

Change tonight will be putting her down 15 mins earlier then reading ds stories on our bed til dd falls asleep. Then ds to bed. Anybody got any more solutions/ suggestions??

Will you know what evenings DH is going to be late home?
I eat with the boys at 5ish, and then have pudding / toast later if I'm hungry.

Hope tonight was better

Gosh, last night was disastrous!! Dd ended up back in her old room in a travel cot.

She's so used to being left to settle to sleep that even being in the room is putting her off.

We'll both (dh and I) do a version of usual bedtyime. He'll take her into bedroom, feed her and put her down. Meanwhile, I'll read ds' stories on our bed giving dd time to sleep. Then I'll take ds to bed.

Fingers crossed for me please [weak smile]

fingers, toes, legs and eyes all crossed for you.

How did it go?

I was just going to start an identical thread. DD2 (5 months) needs to go to bed round about now (6pm). DD1 (4.6yo) is full of beans for another couple of hours at least.

I need to stay with DD2 but DD1 doesn't like being downstairs on her own too much. Also, if I bring her up with me she's too noisy and DD2 can't sleep.

It's fine on the days DH is home but days like today when he's back around 9 it's a nightmare.

Well I just did it!

Not entirely successful as dd is back in her own room but, I did it on my own.

After a few nights of experimenting, without using tv for ds, we decided that she just isn't ready to share. When she stops feeding to sleep/drowsiness we'll have another go.

Tonight I did bath as usual, couple of wee books for her on the couch (as usual) then stuck ITNG on iplayer for ds who'd been told it was a special treat (which it was). I went into dd's room and fed her. Put her down drowsy. She settled quickly. I came back to ds to see the last 10 mins of ITNG and make sure he drank his milk. A couple of stories. Teeth, then upstairs to bed. A wee bit later than normal but, nevermind.

So, there hasn't been a peep from either of them. I am v v anxious though. Don't think I'll sleep til dh gets in.

Thanks for all your hand holding. X

Thats great news!
You will possibly find it gets quicker as you and the kids get used to it.
You Go Girl!

The way I managed it was to let DD nap til around 3 or 4pm, then dinner at 5.30pm, bath for the two of them at 6.30pm, stories in DS's room where she would sit on my knee / potter as she got older and into her room for milk (BF) at around 7.15pm but she was a quick feeder and ready for sleep by then so all done and dusted for 7.30pm

But it sounds like you may have cracked it so WHOOP!