How can you deal with Son12 yrs looked at Gay web.

[Redrose13]

My Son go on my computer and go on Gay website that performing full Gay sex.I'm shocked and very upset that my son might become Gay for us ( we are from Asia county) it very big problem.I spoke to him that be Gay it not wrong just be a good person but he too young to look at that webs.I took him to my English friend who is a solicitor . I let man to man talk and I hope he understand but 2 days a go I found him playing with himself and watched a Gay man picture on Facebook. I delete his FB.We have a very big fight. I know that young child hormone changing, it is very hard for me to accept that, I am a single mother. The end of the day, he is my son I have to accept what ever he be. Can anyone give me addvice on this subject Please.

I think I would be more worriee qbout what kind of porn he was watching than anything else, kids are curious ad in my early teens I thought I was bi-sexual along with most of the people I know, I think only one turned out to be in the end.

I don't think you can do anything about him masturbating, it's a natural thing to do and growing up he will be experimenting,

I think all you can do is limit his internet usage and any internet access on phones and have a good long talk with him agout sex, growing up and changes that will be happening to him.

Good luck.

I agree with Schrodinger that I would be more worried about him watching porn in the first place- there are some very unsuitable and disturbing places out there. Definitely keep an eye on his internet usage. Not for fear of turning him gay (I doubt a website could do that), but because there really are some unpleasant things that no 12yo should see. Or, in my honest opinion, anybody else.

About his sexuality in itself- first of all, it is very very normal at this age to be uncertain of your sexuality, and it may not mean anything at all. I would stay calm over that and not over-react.

On the other hand, if he is going to be either gay or bisexual, then no amount of talking will change that, and as you say yourself he is your son and you will have to accept it. And to be honest looking at websites isn't likely to change anything either. But I wouldn't worry about that yet.

The masturbating, again, is normal, but quite frankly not something you want to see, so you both have to have some house rules to make sure there are no further embarrassing scenes. He needs to understand that this is strictly for his own bedroom with the door closed, and you need to get into the habit of knocking before entering (this is a good habit anyway, once your children start growing up).

Can't you put content restrictions on via your provider, my DP has done this to prevent adult content from being displayed.

Have a dual log in, I share my laptop with DS. Put child controls on his login, you can set them for different age levels. If you don't know how, get a friend to do it.
He's not very subtle if he's doing it whilst you are around, does he want you to be shocked? Or is he just not very good at being inappropriate?
Does he get fun out of watching you get upset and annoyed?

It may be a troll, but if any other parents are in the same situation, there are resources out there for young gay people and for their parents to help them come to terms with the situation. Not everyone is unbigoted, and suicide rates amongst young gay people are very high.

The best place to get advice is from your local gay youth support group - and block internet access, a child of that age should not be looking at porn, regardless of their sexuality.