How do you make children appreciate what they have...

[BonkeyMollocks]

And look after things?

My ds is very flippant about toys, objects etc.
He is 4 and gradually getting worse. Just throws stuff around, doesn't tidy up, its driving me mad!

I know he is only four but I think this is old enough to understand that things don't grow on trees.

Any ideas? We have tried sticker charts. They work for a few days and then he doesn't care anymore.

Just make him tidy up. You can make it a game, or just say it has to be done. Most 4yo don't tidy up of their own accord.

And if something gets broken, don't replace it.

This is the thing, we do make him help us tidy up, sometimes he does, no problem, other times we have a god almighty melt down. It can be easier said than done.

Nothing broken gets replaced, however we are not particually well off and it pisses me off right down to the bone when he manages to beak something that cost a fair bit of money or we saved to get.

Im surprised you didnt get more answers to this,so I will try and remember what my 4 year old boys were like!
4 is still quite young,but he should be learning.What is he like at playschool or school about toys and equipment?
Do you think he has anger issues?
I dont think my boys ever enjoyed tidying up,so I wouldnt expect compliance all the time.
Has he suddenly got a younger sibling which might be changing his behaviour.
Ans final thought,you could say if he breaks things beacuse he has not been careful yet again,that you will take away a few toys for a few days,until he starts learning to appreciate them.

I'd recommend putting most of his things well away (box on top of a cupboard away) and leaving him with just a few sturdy toys that he can't break. Makes tidying up easier, he won't get in trouble for breaking things and, when he gets bored with the toys, bring out a few different ones and put the ones he's been playing with out of reach.

Make tidying up fun... 'who can put the lego bricks in the box fastest, you or me?'... 'aeroplane' books into the box or cupboard with zooming noises... promise a snack and drink once everything's tidy.

What does he break that costs a lot of money, if you mean toys I think you should perhaps review what you are spending on him.

If it is ornaments or the like then you just need to put that sort of stuff up high or not buy breakable things and expect them to last.

I was going to say what Cogito suggested - Only have a small amount of toys get-atable at any time. Rotate them once a fortnight/month.

If something gets broken because he is being careless, do not replace!

Would you be able to put all the toys away somewhere, so that in order to obtain a 'new' one, he has to put one away first?
Breaking/losing toys is one of the few things I get annoyed with my DD about, which she has taken on board and is very good at playing 'nicely' with things. Lots of kids do like to test the limits of their toys though!

At that age ds rarely 'played' with toys - we were out at the park as often as possible - boys(and girls) are very active ime!

We did have toys on rotation as suggested earlier - it worked well.

Definetly put current plaything away before the nezt thing is brought out.

Four is old enough to tidy up after themselves. Only help as a treat for good behaviour.

Dont buy them lots.

Any 'misuse' throwing, standing on is punished by removal of that toy for the rest of the day.

Dramatically reduce toys and the ones left will seem special.

my DS is only 2 but my friends kids are now aged 12 - 20 (4 of them). She had a tough up bringing and has always tried to give her kids 'what she didn't have' but now she says the more you give kids the more they then expect and the less grateful they are!!

I don't let my 3 Yo get new toys out until he has tidied what he has finished playing with, which helps to keep things a little under control.
We also tell him that any toys which aren't tidied up at the end of the day will go in the bin / to the charity shop / given away. That soon makes him tidy up!

I also have this issue, and I realised my kids have too many toys. I used to buy them things all the time, probably because I felt they were missing out if they didn't have it. Going to Toys R Us set me back hundreds of pounds because there is so much to choose from you don't know where to start.

Now I only get toys occassionally, and they play and take better care of what they do have. My 5 year old though has an anger problem and will throw anything when he gets angry. This week he has broken the i-pad and the Macbook....

we have these rules;

he tidies up (on his own) at the end of the day I will help at the end if hes got on well and theres lots to do. If he does it mega slowly like he can't be bother and is haveing a very passive tantrum he goes on the step !

do not stand on toys / books, I really enforce this as I find ds idly watching tv with his feet on stuff
and it annoys the hell out of me !

he very rarely breaks toys but has drawn on a lot of stuff and has been punished by not having any tv....no tv is the only thing that has any weight ! most hes gone is a week

I have structured play as in we don't have absolutely everything out, we have very small house so things have to be put away before you get an activity out.

I would just give him lots of responsibilty and praise like mad even if you think he hasnt done a great job, it will spur him on, especially if you see hes started

if that doesnt work I would just use the naughty step, if hes having tantrums about it just keep naughty stepping then send him back to finish the job and repeat and repeat....

good luck, it drives me crackers but ds is much better at tidying than he used to be and its such a help