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Parenting

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Original poster

Enforcing "quiet time" for a manic toddler who no longer naps?

19 replies

nonapandknackered · 21/06/2012 22:11

I've posted here recently about how to deal with the lack of napping (hence my NN!). DS1(2.8) went into a toddler bed nearly four weeks ago. He now goes to bed pretty much trouble free, but his naps at home seem to have ended . He still needs a nap, still naps at his three days at nursery, and is shattered on the days he doesn't. We can occasionally get him to sleep in his pram after a long walk.

DS2 is 8mo and is a very erratic napper, will only nap in his pram and has never had a regular time / length of nap .

So, I've now decided to stop forcing the nap issue at home. I'm encouraging him to lie on the sofa and watch a bit of TV (I know, I know) which he says he wants to do, but then he stays put for about 5 mins at the most until he starts climbing the walls.

He's super-active, is not . very good at playing with one toy for any length of time, and jumps around / climbs on everything at home. We don't have a garden. We go out somewhere every morning where I try and tire him out. Obviously I can take him out in the afternoon too, but I need some way of being able to have a few hours at home where he is not completely manic and doesn't involve watching TV. I'm planning on potty training soon and know we will need to stay at home at least for a few days which I just can't imagine at the moment. I'm also expecting him to get the pox at some point soon as it's been doing the rounds for ages which again means being quarantined for quite a while.

I've tried reading books, colouring, play-dough, model trains, jigsaws etc. We've done baking a few times but it extremely messy (he is extremely messy) and I can't clean up after it unless DH is here as I can't do that and supervise him.

Help!

OP posts:

Original poster

nonapandknackered · 21/06/2012 22:28

Bump?

OP posts:

NotInMyDay · 21/06/2012 22:32

I have enforced quiet time for DD (4) on days when I can see she is whiny and unreasonable tired.

Her choices are lie quietly and watch tv or go an lie on your bed. But I am very black and white on most things so she knows I won't budge from these choices.

I am always vindicated when a lovely, chirpy girl emerges after quiet time.

Good luck

Smokedsalmonbagel · 21/06/2012 22:36

I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with him sitting and watching TV. If you can find something he will watch it is great chill out time and gives you time to catch up.

DS1 watched a fair amount of TV to get him through the dropping his nap stage plus I was pregnant and tired. Now he barely watches it.

Could also sit with him and look at computer. DS1 loved looking at Cbeebies and Peppa pig websites.

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An0therName · 21/06/2012 22:48

honestly my DS was rather like this - TV saved my sanity - we recorded thing he liked
stickers were popular -he also settled down a lot as he got to three
does he walk or go on a scooter or balance bike when you go out as he may need even more exercise

Original poster

nonapandknackered · 21/06/2012 22:49

Thanks ladies. notin the problem is he won't do what I tell him! I can say you need to do this or that, no other options, till I am blue in the face and he won't listen. I think that's why it's so hard to manage without the nap time now, as it's just more time in the day when it seems like I'm talking to a brick wall! . I know he's the toddler and I'm in charge, but he is a real real handful.

smoked he just seems to watch so much tv already, I hate the fact that we are already relying on it so much. I'm not alone, I know, all the mums I know use the telly all the time, but I'd love an alternative!

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ParkbenchSociety · 21/06/2012 22:52

My kids never napped but I needed some quiet time in the afternoon even if they didn't so I ignored them as much as possible and let the watch movies or play on the computer for a couple of hours. I thought it was good for them.

An0therName · 21/06/2012 22:52

do you have any sanction when he doesn't listen - no universilty popular but "naughtly" step did help us - and both DCs were taken to it

Smokedsalmonbagel · 21/06/2012 23:14

How about a tea set?

Sounds girly but both my boys liked having pretend tea parties using water! Got a bit messy but its only water!

DS1 use to really like kids magazines. Used to keep him quiet for a while.

ViolaCrayola · 21/06/2012 23:15

I would second or third the TV encouragement- if you are worried then maybe limit it to just this afternoon quiet time? Other ideas- sticker books, aquadoodle, duplo, role play with soft toys, looking out of window and playing eye spy (colours version), making up stories, watching clips on YouTube, bubbles, wet play in sink - these are all indoor things I have done with DS (2.5) whilst being housebound due to SPD/pregnancy. There are activity books you can look at for better ideas- toddler's busy book I think is the name of one. There's a website too- the imagination tree I think it's called.

Springforward · 21/06/2012 23:23

We find a bit of telly a good way to get DS (3) to have some quiet time too.

cureall · 21/06/2012 23:24

OP I have a DD who is similar to your DS in that she is incredibly opinionated and only does what I ask if I can make her see why it's reasonable! Easier now she's a bit older.

Have you got room for one of those indoor trampolines with a handle? Can he make a den with the sofa cushions? Have you got a Wiggles DVD, they have lots of dance routines which mine used to enjoy copying - ditto Tumble Tots DVD.

lindsell · 21/06/2012 23:25

My ds1 (3.2) doesn't always nap anymore but I always make him go up to (and stay in) his room for a 'nap time/quiet time' he has some books up there but knows he must stay in his room until i come to get him which he does. There's a stairgate at top of the stairs so he can't come down and he's pretty good about staying there as he knows that is the rule. (and the threat if he doesn't is that he'll have to go back in his baby bed in the baby's room)

Tbh if you want 'quiet time' I don't think that's v easy to enforce if he's still down with you as he's IMO a bit young to understand why he has to be quiet at that time and not at others iyswim.

What does he do if you just put him in his room?

Original poster

nonapandknackered · 21/06/2012 23:27

smoked I really want to get a tea set but we have sooooooooooooooo much stuff filling our tiny flat I can't justify anymore toys at the moment. He's getting better with roleplay with his toys so I am going to encourage that more.

He would happily spend hours watching youtube but it's too much like TV for my liking, though maybe I just ought to give in with that.

Anothername we use a naughty step type of thing when he hits his brother but it doesn't seem to have any effect (well not so far, anyway). He's most definitely jelous and his behaviour has got worse since DS2 came along but we are trying to work on it. It gets very exhausting at times!

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MrsJohnMurphy · 21/06/2012 23:35

Yes I would also use TV, my 2.8 yo ds2 is constantly on the move and has abandoned naps, however if I lie down on the sofa with a cuddly blanket and put the TV on, he will come and snuggle.

Yesterday I was knackered and did this, about 1pm, he came and laid next to me and the next thing we knew it was 3pm and he woke me up because he had a minging nappy.

I was quite surprised that I fell asleep too, but synchronised naps ftw.

MrsJohnMurphy · 21/06/2012 23:40

Also naughty steps and saying no, have no actual use at this age, the whole hitting and being a giant pita thing seems to pass of it's own accord, just let him know hitting is not a desired action.

They are surely a law to themselves at this age, it does pass though, they will become slightly more reasonable, then you can punish them effectively when you know that they know what they have done is "naughty" .

Original poster

nonapandknackered · 21/06/2012 23:46

Lindsell he won't stay in his room. He just gets really upset and says he wants to lie on the sofa. which he then does for about 5 mins .

OP posts:

charlmills · 22/06/2012 14:21

My dd was like this a while ago. We borrowed a portable dvd player for a journey once and she loved it so we bought a cheap one and she now watches a film on the sofa with this and 9/10 will fall asleep.
I think she likes the fact that its hers and its small so only she is watching it and it helps her to really focus on it.
Sometimes she won't sleep but if she gets up and wants to play with me I just say I have some things to do for a while and so she can either play on her own or watch her film. Seems to work majority of the time.

Murtette · 22/06/2012 18:15

Does he have his own bedroom? Is it safe for him to be in by himself? If so, can you put a stairgate on his bedroom door & put him in there for 30 mins or so? Its what I do with DD. All she has in there are books, cuddlies & other "quiet" toys so, even if she's not actually resting, she's at least not burning up too much energy. For the first week she did it, she loved it; the second week there were some tears/rattling of the gate; now she just accepts it.

Murtette · 22/06/2012 18:16

Oh, she always has a CD of stories or nursery rhymes on too and knows she has to stay in her room for the length of the CD. I think it helps her to have an idea of how much longer there is to go. With one CD, she starts shouting "last song, Mummy. Come & get me soon" as the last song starts

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