5 wk old not sleeping in daytime

[Coramum]

Hi, am really worried that my 5 week old rarely naps during the day, regularly goes 7/8 hours straight between 7am and 9pm without sleep and today went nearly 12 hours. She's clearly overtired and stressed, just wants to comfort feed all the time and cries if not latched on. Have tried to watch for as soon as she's tired, swaddle, quiet, dark room, rocking, holding, dummy etc. tried baby whisperer routine, and had maternity nurse to help show me how to settle her but nothing works and it's getting worse. Checked usual things, wind, nappy, temperature etc. Shes not showing signs of reflux or colic I don't think. am really worried its my fault somehow that she's so unhappy during the day when shes with me, what am I doing wrong??

How was her birth? A baby I knew that was very unsettled, crying all the time, had had a quite traumatic birth including ventouse delivery. Cranial massage helped him. I'd also recommend talking to a GP if you're worried.

awww these early days, when you are trying to work out everything, it's knackering isn't it

I think that feeding as and when she asks rather trying to routine such a little baby will make you both more settled

A sling is a great idea, to keep her close and secure next to your body

TBH I found that going from work (I was a manager, click fingers and Make It So) to a baby who had NO IDEA that I liked planning and efficiency was terribly difficult, it took me weeks to accept that babies are unpredictable.

If it all gets a bit much, bundle her up into the pram and go for a walk (driving rain not helping at the mo)

The only bit of useful advice I had from a HV was to put the moses basket on the floor rather than the stand - it worked?! I guess it feels more stable. I also spent most of the first 6 months doing at least one nap a day with DD in a mei tai sling walking around the streets during the day.

Try putting her in a sling/pram etc within an hour and a half of first waking and go for a walk. You will hopefully catch her sleep window before she has the chance to get overtired. Always look for signs like first yawn, ear rubbing or eyerubbing- sometimes you only have 15 minutes to get them to sleep before they get overtired. A sling is a brilliant idea as most babies will sleep in them. Try walking around a dark room or use white noise like an extractor fan. Keep stimulation to an absolute minimum.

My DD2 could never be put down in a moses basket. She would always fall asleep in a sling though if I left it too late it would take a lot longer and a lot more crying.

Does your DD ever fall asleep on the boob. If you can try feeding her lying down.

DD was quite like this, the first few weeks she barely slept and we had no idea how much she actually needed to, so we didn't realise for a while what was wrong! At 5mo she still isn't a great napper.

My only advice would be to not get caught up in getting her to sleep on her own at this age and experiment with different places to sleep. A sling or carrier can work a treat, or long walks in the pram, or just sleeping on you while you read or watch TV.

I got very stressed out about 1-2mo that DD wouldn't nap in her cot and I realised after a while that by trying different settling techniques I was being incredibly inconsistent and making things worse with her. I gave in and let her nap in the pushchair or on me. As an upside, I have read SO much since she was born - we just curl up on the bed so she can be cuddled off to sleep! And its only now at 5m that we are starting to work on sleep training in the cot.

As the others say, you are not doing anything wrong and your baby is just adjusting to life in the big bad world. Just focus on finding ways to get her to have naps, whether this means watching telly 5 hours a day or walking for England, and once she gets into the habit of daytime napping things will improve, I promise. DD might not be a great napper but over time we have both learnt when she is tired and things are starting to get better!

Good luck x

My 4 week old is out cold after 5 minutes out in her pram or I the car so that could be worth a try?

Thx everyone, this makes me feel a lot better and that am not on my own.GP confirmed nothing wrong, she's just a normal new born. Had first session at the cranial osteopath this weekend and aiming to get a sling. She seems to quite like the car seat which we can use as a pram so am going to get out more and not worry if she cries and people think I'm a terrible mother :) Weirdly she likes being walked up and down the stairs so will definitely need that sling! I wish baby's came with a user manual...

No one will think you are a terrible mother if you are walking a crying baby in the pram! Where I live, it's probably one of the best ways to make new friends - sympathy and all

OK, just thought I'd update, so we've tried 3 sessions with the osteo (made no difference). Tried 2 weeks of a dairy free diet to see if it helped reduce wind (made no difference). Tried topping up with formula on recommendation of two very experienced maternity nurses who guaranteed it would make her sleep - made no difference. Tried pram and car seat - no sleep. Tried sling and sometimes manage to get an hour or two of fitful, unsettled sleep as long as we walk around gently in a very quiet room.
On the plus side she sleeps in two hour chunks at night, usually 9pm-5am, though takes an hour or two to settle. She's so exhausted after being awake for most of the previous 12 hours that she eventually cries herself out.

Our GP, Mat Nurse, HV and Osteo all commented how unusually awake and alert she is but all confirmed there isn't anything medically wrong with her, she's feeding fine and putting on weight.
Confess am really struggling with coping with an 8 week old that cries most of the time. Have given up trying to go out anywhere as she cries in the pram and car seat and I can't take it. At least at home I can hold her to try to calm her. None of my friends babies are like this so it feels stressful being the only one with the baby that cries if not latched on.

If I'd known it would be like this I would have taken a friends advice and Gina Ford'd from day 1. But like most mums I was horrified by the GF approach. But now I have a baby that is tired and cranky most of the time and thats heartbreaking too. I feel like I've failed her and am probably going to get a mat nurse in to get her into a daytime sleep routine.

Oh, Cora, I'm sorry to hear that nothing has worked so far. You must be so stressed, no wonder you are struggling. Please, please don't think that you have failed her. GF may not have worked anyway, don't think you did something wrong by not trying it. Your baby may just be one that one that doesn't like to sleep or settle alone and nothing you could have done would have changed that.

If you can afford a maternity nurse then maybe that would be helpful - if nothing else it will give you some time off.

thanks nelly - our mat nurse is lovely and has got to know cora from week 1 so am very glad of her help. Shes advised against gf but will try other methods. i just want my wee one to get the rest she needs to be happy..

Cora much of what you say sounds very familar. I was so shocked when we had DD as I thought newborns just slept. Hahahaha! My DD would sleep for max of 40 mins in the pram, as long as it was moving. Would wake as soon as it stopped, so that was exhausting. If she was in the sling, it was the same, had to keep moving. You get the picture. She was, and still is (22 months), a very alert little thing.

About 3 months in I was so shattered something had to change. So, I gently tried to get her into a routine. I would go out at the same times every day walking with the pram so she would sleep and get used to sleeping at those times. Yes, it was hard going out for a long walk 3 or 4 times a day in all weathers, but needs must. So, after about a week or ten days, I started trying to get her in her basket for naps (at the same times as I took her for walks) and she seemed a little more keen to sleep. I will admit that for most naps I would still give her a bottle in a dark room (as a night time), but it worked for us.

So, trying to gently get her into a routine the way I did might help. At this stage she will probably be quite overtired from no naps, which can make it harder for them to fall asleep, so you really need to get her used to napping before trying the basket.

Hope that helps.

thanks skip - thats pretty much what i've been doing over the last couple of weeks, though using the sling rather than the pram (theres just too much going on and too much noise outside, she is wide awake). But no success with the basket at all during the day.
Its comforting to know not everyones newborn sleeps during the day. Everyone else I know seems to be working on getting their babies to sleep through the night and I feel i've got such a long way to go before I can even begin to worry about that!
ps agree pram (and sling) is knackering...at least i don't have to worry about losing the baby weight with the sleepless baby diet :)

I suppose my DD was rather older when I tackled it. I used to take DD out for a walk about 830am, getting the first nap was key. Without it every other sleep was more difficult. Could you find some quiet streets to walk along and try a blackout shade for the pram?

I also meant to say, try and get someone to take her for a walk sometimes so you get a break. It is exhausting. My DD was great at night time, and everyone used to think life must be easy for me because she was good at night. Never mind the fact I spent my days with a screaming overtired baby!

Have you tried a Snoozeshade? DD loves to look out when in her pushchair but covering it up helps sometimes - we even occasionally manage a 90 min nap with it on when in a cafe, which is unheard of at home in her cot!

In terms of routine I was really pro-GF until little one turned up, and then found the Baby Whisperer/Supernanny 3-hour EASY routine suited us much more. Its so much more adaptable and I just make it up every day depending on the time DD wakes up. Like skip says, it helps little one start to learn when they should think about napping.

Thx all. Have tried a shade on the pram but still no sleeping, she doesn't seem to like the movement much and even if her eyes start to droop she jumps awake at every bump.
Have tried the baby whisperer routine for 4 days and it was hell (though agree its a good approach). Had 4 days of non stop crying and still no sleep. Also it made her very nervous about sleeping and seemed to make things worse, eg we had to stop swaddling her as she cried as soon as we put her on the blanket!
Part of the problem is she's a very light sleeper and once woken finds it hard to go back to sleep.
Not sure whether our nights are good compared to other 8 week olds, last night she was down by 8, then up at 1.30 & 4.30, awake for about 45 mins each time then awake properly at 6.30. Guess that's not so bad?

Just to comfort you, my DD was a very light sleeper too and for a long time we only had 40 min naps and she would be woken at the littlest thing. She seems to have settled a bit as she has gotten older and would you believe she now goes to get her pjs/sleeping bag at nap time and I get a couple of hours sleep out of her. They do change, promise!