Who looks after your dcs when you are ill?

[MrTumblesCrackWhore]

I'm just recovering from a really nasty virus and have been bedridden since the weekend. I could not have looked after my 2 dcs - besides avoiding giving them it too- I was delirious and constantly being sick.

We are lucky enough to have been able to enlist our live out nanny for an extra day to cover my illness but it makes me shudder to think what I would do if she couldn't have helped out- dh works away alot during the week and I have no family nearby.

This got me thinking...what happens when the only available parent is too sick to look after their dcs? Is there a mechanism in social services in place to help out?

I don't have neighbours I could call on or family nearby. New to area so don't have that kind of depth of friendship either. It does scare me. Would I have to ring HV?! Would I be put on some sort of SS list. I can't bear the thought of my children going to someone I don't know if I was ill :(

This week it has been a combination of friends, dh, neighbours, school and nursery. My folks have arrived today for a couple of days. Ordinarily am of the just get on with it school, but this week at least that's just not possible. Dh's employers have been fab about him going in late/leaving early when he's had to.

I looked after my two dc whilst in a coma. You just have to get on with it.

Me...i do everything, no choice

In a coma rubberglove??? How?! And presumably you're not talking toddlers?

Dh I s'pose, unless he was away

However as mine are teens I would hope they could look after me

Driving them to school might be a problem as ds is only 16

no you didn't rubberglove.

I have asked my mum to take the baby for the morning for me, when I felt really wretched.

I know I am lucky, I have my parents, ILs and sisters. If something terrible was happening, I have some lovely friends too.

Speaking as the only available parent... you do your level best not to get sick and, if you fall ill, you go into a holding pattern of doing the bare minimum to keep child/house running, resting when you get the opportunity and calling in as much cavalry as you can in the form of friends and relations. Wouldn't let Social Services within 10 miles....

if i literally could NOT look after the children then DP would have no choice but to take time off work

I have no idea at all what I would do if I were a single parent though. I ssuppose I would just have call in lots of favours

Rubberglove - your sooo dedicated

Yup I can trump what anyone has done ever - and never moan about it. I am a highly evolved individual

Cbeebies and cereal are currently looking after my DS.

I'm alternating between pacing the floor with gallstone pain and laying down mumsneting with my head on a hot water bottle with ear and tooth ache. Either one of these things would have Benin fine but all 3 together are hell.

Ohh verity I know that one....

Move 500 miles closer to us Charlie. We'll help you be a single parent Charlie. We'll raise those children together in one extended family Charlie. Honestly, you'll never cope alone Charlie.

Err I'm sick. Can someone take the kids for a few hours?

How tough for so many of you ....

Me, their dad works fairly normal full time hours, I work nights, so yes, if I am ill I still look after them and to be fair, if he is ill he still looks after them.

I do. If i'm so ill i can't move ( which is very rare) DH will work from home. It's happened once.

Similar here too verity. Moved to an expensive town to bear near my brother and sister in law so we could help each other with our babies only for them to up and move to the cheaper town mext door. This meaning they can't really offer much help as I'd need to pay a fortune on the bus to get the dc over there the rare time they'd help ..... But they drive so can drop their DS off here whenever they want.

I'm really grumpy when in agony it seems!

I'm a single parent and just have to carry on regardless. It sucks. (But not as much as my marriage did!) :o :o

Dh.

It gets easier as the DC get older

Usually DH. I had a horrible D and V bug when Dd was a baby, I was vomiting every time I stood up. Thankfully my lovely sil cane to the rescue because I just couldn't have carried on and DH was away.

I'm fortunate that I've never been ill enough to have to find out. I had horrendous hyperemesis whilst pg with dd2 but dd1 was at school, so old enough to understand that I was unable to play properly and take her out. I could also pass out on the sofa while she was at school which made the evenings easier.
DH could possibly take time off, however he's often out of the country on business so not always practical.
When DH was seriously ill last year I took dependent's leave from work as I couldn't manage having two small dc's and a husband in hospital 60 miles away and my job as well. Lucky that my employer was symathetic.
Both mine and dh's family are too far away to come over for the day if needed however if I were ill long term/post operative then my Mum and/or IL's could come over and stay as they are all now retired.

So it would be an immense pita but not completely insurmountable.