How to encourage 9 year old boy to play outside and to make friends

[30smum]

My first post - am feeling worried about my DS (9years), he is an only child, and I feel bad that he doesn't have anyone to play with after school/at weekends and so on.

We live in a family area, but people seem to play in their gardens, there is a small local park but it's either teenagers there by themselves, sometimes children with their families.

It's ended up that I play with him after school and at weekends as I don't want him to feel lonely. To get him in the garden, I'm there too playing. I take him for a walk after school or for a cycle ride.

He does do several clubs after school, enjoys these but doesn't see the people there outside.

I need help on how to get him to play outside by himself and how to encourage him to get friends over to play. I often ask him if he wants to invite someone back on a certain day and he usually says no.

He will be year 5 in September.He is generally happy.

It's getting beyond the age where I arrange a playdate for him.

Can any one help please?

My ds (year 3) has had a few different boys round but now it's just his best friend - he comes here once a half term & goes there once every half term
That's enough for me
what with clubs homework reading etc there is enough going on

Do you live near the school? What do his friends at school do after school? My 8 year old will sometimes play outside on his own, he is quite happy pottering about, however the 9 year old will only go outside with a friend or with his younger brother. We don't live ever so near the school but sometimes I will walk the boys round to nearer where there friends play out and agree to pick them up after later on.

Some children just don't want to play out though - our 12 year old is like that, and prefers to just hang out around the house or chill out in the garden. She is not unhappy so that's fine

Thanks for your comments,

My DS used to have people around, he was best friends with another but the other boy made other friends at school, and they aren't really that friendly any longer.

Yes we live very near the school. We never see other children out. I often walk with DS around but don't see people.

Some of his classmates go to after school activities each evening, others I don't know what they do.

I have started to encourage him to go to local shops by himself to buy a few sweets or milk etc, to give him some independence.

My son is same age and I still arrange " playdates" for him, in the sense of he asks friend and I confirm with mum/dad that the day is ok.

I'll try more playdates, the problem is when I ask who he'd like to invite over, he says no one!

Veritythebrave
It's good to know I am not alone with this. How do you get your DS or DD to play outside by themselves? Do you have any tips.

I have made him go in the garden and he is playing with the sandbox - moaning about it, not happy atall. He is fine to go out for a cycle or walk with me.But I need him to be happy doing things like playing outside by himself.

that's a good point 2fedup. I think when it's sunny and not raining, I'd like him to be outside being active rather than indoors doing lego/on PC etc.

I need to think about that I am pushing him too much, also in that I often ask him to invite someone to play and he says he doesnt want anyone around.