Breakthrough in sibling rivalry Chez Holly

[Bagofholly]

DS1 is 3. He was 20 months when I had twins (they're 18mths now) and when they're all together he would deliberately pinch, push and thump them. It was driving everyone crackers - I couldn't leave him unattended for even a minute.

So, I've had a change of tack. When he hurts them, I tell him "if you hurt the twins, they get a treat and a cuddle." And then ignore him, and cuddle the twins and give them a treat (sticker, choc button etc.) The first couple of times we did this he went absolutely BALLISTIC, massive tantrum, lying on the floor drumming his heels etc. But now, he's stopped! He was annoyed with me for not letting him play with the mop bucket (why?!) and went to hit one of the babies and then stopped and said "no hit the babies. No treats."

He's pretty pissed off with this change of rules, but it's working! Just thought I'd share!

Sounds good. Are you making sure he does get treats when he's playing nicely with his siblings though?

We have this problem in reverse, it's my 21 month old hitting and scratching his 3yr old brother. My 3yr old doesn't retaliate at all, just shouts "Oi X that hurts me" so I know when ds2 is being a little bugger. We seem to be coming out the other side now but if my way fails to work I'll definitely try your tactic.

Yes, although it's something I need to focus on more. We're toilet training at the moment so all the praise is for wee and poo. Which he's emitting at 5ml/1cm multi-portions.