What age did you let your child go to the local playground alone?

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My son is nearly 8 and we live in a cul de sac where there are no other children. At the head of the cul-de-sac there is a very short alleyway which our house is right next to but it slopes upwards. It leads to a football pitch and a playground with a row of trees seperating the two. I'm trying to decide whether he is old enough to go to the playground alone/ to meet friends. There are no roads for him to cross but there is a very quiet road the other side of the playground that his best mate lives the other side of. I have noticed other children of similar ages playing there unsupervised. His best mates mom has said that we can take it in turns when we do let them go alone, to go and check on them every 10 mins or so as she can't quite see the playground from her house. Opinions please!

I depends on what your neighbourhood is like.

Is the playground well frequented by families? Does it attract lots of older children? Perhaps the initial step would be to walk with your DS to the playground, and let him stay alone if friends are there, or plenty of families with children his age or younger. You can then say you'll be back after a particular length of time.

As his best mate's mum house is that close, he's got somewhere to run to if anything makes him uncomfortable. I don't just mean adults hanging around, groups of unknown bigger children can be intimidating too.

Totally depends on your neighbourhood, who tends to hang around the park and how much you trust your son. My son is five and I let him go to our local park alone, quiet area, everyone knows each other, 1 minor road to cross, clean, small park. He wears a watch and I tell him to pop back every 10 minutes which he does without fail. In other areas there would be no way I would let him do this at five, although I think at 8 perhaps you should be letting the aprons strings go a bit :-) x

What is the play area like? Does it get lots of older children smoking and swearing or using it as a walk through?

I let my 8 & 10 year old play in the park at the end of my cul de sac and I can't see them, intact that have just pilled in with friends for a drink before going back out.

I consider myself very lucky to live in an area that I feel safe letting them play out for an hour after school and dinner.

As others have said it depends on your neighbourhood, but if he wants to do it at 8 that sounds easily old enough, assuming the park isn't used by big groups of teens to drink and smoke, or anyone more unsavoury!

We live in a teeny tiny village and our house is right by the playground, I can see it from my living room window and if one of my kids call me from it I can hear. Even though my mastery of the local language isn't fluent I also appear to be the police for the playground, and if one child is throwing sand or waving a stick about alarmingly (that is about the worst that happens) I often have 3 or 4 children hop over my gate and ask me to sort it out, even if my kids aren't out! Children here are luckily respectful of adults esp if you threaten to have a chat with their mum :o

With all that in mind my kids have been allowed to play in the playground alone since the age of 4, though they are rarely totally alone, the older 2 go together or phone a friend to meet them there, or they rush out when they see friends arriving.

So 4, but it's an exceptional circumstance here I think.

iMO 4 and 5 is far too young.... Even in nice areas and where you can see your child from the living room window... Fair enough if they're with older responsible children but on their own absolutely no way for me...

My son is 7 and our park is 5 min walk away and I wouldn't let him go yet... 8 verging on 9 then yes.

All the kids in the village seem to have roughly the same freedom, and we live nearest the playground, if you hop over the fence you'd be in it. What exactly would be your worry Charlieboo ?

Just because everyone does it, doesn't make it ok....

All the obvious worries of leaving a 4 and a 5 year old on their own in a park...

I don't think Im on my own with this either... I have never seen a 4 or 5 year old in a park on their own where we live and it's a good area... Even when we go to the inlaws, same at their park... Not for me I'm afraid.

My 4 year old isn't allowed to play out the font or down to the park with her sisters.

I don't think it is fair to make older dc responsible for looking out for their sister and 4 years old isn't old enough to be out without me.

DD3 knows she has to wait until she is 8 so she can play out.

I let my kids do it (5 minute walk, 2 roads to cross) when they were about 8 and 10, by which time they no longer wanted to go to the playground any more. Sod's law.

It is true that just because everyone does it, that doesn't make it OK.

However I do think some UK parents are massively over protective - I am from the Uk but we live in a country where a lot of children walk to Kindergarten alone and it is almost unheard of to drive or walk your child to school - they get the bus or walk alone or with friends.

I feel safe doing it because of where we live (obviously it is not appropriate in a big town/ busy are/ where there are roads to cross/ where there are a lot of people you don't know about/ in a very large park etc etc) and I trust him (my 4 yo) and know all the kids who go in the playground. I think the kids gain a lot from a bit of freedom, and they are never out of calling range (though they are out of sight unless I stand on the drive or at the window). The playground is not large at all - some people have bigger gardens.

I love how self reliant kids here are - I have to bite my tongue when a friend talks about her NT 4 and 6 year old running off - I really do feel they are treated as babies because she thinks that is normal for their age! I have never come across a child over max just turned 3 doing that around here.

I agree it is unfair and wrong for a child to be responsible for younger sibling (eldest of 4 myself and my parents told me to take a sister with me as a condition of going out a lot - but that was more being told to take a much younger sister with me to town on the bus when I was older, when we played out I was happy to take my closest in age sister, because there weren't really any other kids to play with, so different story!)

My older 2 go together because they like to be together. Or if one of them has a friend in the playground they are more likely to go without their sibling.

One 10 yo boy in the village brings his 2 and 3 year old sister and brother to the playground sometimes, he is lovely with them, I saw him take off his shirt and give it to his brother when his brother spilled his drink down himself and start to cry. But lovely as it is I do agree he shouldn't have to babysit. He does get to come out without them more often though.

I do think it's a bit sad when kids older than my DD (6) are not allowed outside their own garden, although I know in a lot of places there is a safety reason I think sometimes kids are stuck inside/ in a mall garden without the social contact unnecessarily.

I am still pondering what Charlie thinks would happen in a small playground I can see and hear all of from my living room, that wouldn't happen in a large garden with a sandpit, play equipment and space to kick a ball about...

English I wonder if Charlie meant seeing a child so young in the park seemingly alone may look wrong?

Seeing a 4 year alone in the park would make my judgy pants itch until I could see you watching from a window etc

I personally still wouldn't feel comfortable. Older children play out and DD3 aged 4 plays in our garden.

Why are you so hell bent on proving your point to me? Because you've realised you are the exception? In the UK I can guarantee you that the vast majority of parents would NOT let their 4 and 5 year old children to the park alone... They would think you were Nuts... Stop bringing me into your argument, I've told you I don't agree with you.....

I wonder about this. The park is on the other side of our street & I can see the playground from my bedroom window. DD (just 4) is desperate to be given independence & go to the playground by herself - i was thinking maybe at 5 or 6.

Her school is also one street away so I wonder when I can send her there by herself too!

I actually agree with you Englishwoman, as a nation we do seem very overprotective. However in my area it is not unusual to see 4/5 year olds playing out by themselves. I count myself very lucky that I live I such an area. I guess all sorts of things could go wrong when my 5 year old is in the park by himself (out of sight and ear shot, about a 1/2 minute walk). He might injure himself, be run over, kidnapped, bullied etc, and these are a risk but in all honestly they are a risk I have assessessd as being low for my son in my area and as such I'm happy to let him play out when he wants to, as long as he follows my strict time instructions. I feel it gives him a sense of freedom, responsibility and trust, all of which are important.

It is a good area that we live but older kids do smoke and drink at the park but mainly in the evening when I would expect DS to be home in bed. I have discussed with him what to do in different scenarios and if I quiz him he gives the right answers. DS can be a bit of a handful and does lie (although I can tell when he is lying) but apparently he is good for everyone else. If it was his younger brother I would definately be able to trust him but he is only 5 and as its a 5 min walk away and he'll talk to anyone, i feel he's too young yet. Spoke to DH about it last night and he says he shouldn't go yet but I think we should just try and see what happens.

my 8yo is allowed to the park by her self before 6pm
my 10 yo is allowed until 7 because the teens start hanging around about 7.30 -they aren't bad teens but I can see they can be intimidating so I would rather keep her out of that situation

this is the first summer my 8yo has been allowed by herself but she seems to be the only one of her friends that does, but all her friends are the oldest in their family and it is harder to let the first one go

Yikes, ds who's 8 hasn't asked yet but I don't think I could. One small road to cross but I woul feel really queasy about it. I still collect him from his friends house at 5 if he's had a play. I had a chat about stranger danger recently...they had a talk at beavers about it and he was still clueless...I did the old come and see my puppies routine and he got really excited and I was like..noooooo you don't go and see the puppies! And he's very sensible but daft on animals. Each child is different but I guess as none of his friends go to the park on their own it's not an issue yet...good luck!