need to leave 6 month old baby for 10-14 days- reassurance please?

[theory]

My mom is having open-heart surgery in the States, and I need to go help her when she first gets home from the hospital , which means leaving our 6 month DD...I feel really uncomfortable with this, and I guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it will all be fine. DD will be with DH some days (and nights) and with a nanny on others. DH is fantastic with her, and she gets along well with the nanny already. (She works part-time now, usually with me around the house, too.) She also has a much beloved big sister...in short, she'll be far from alone! But I still feel awful at the prospects of leaving.-- while also feeling awful for my mom, who'd ideally like me to stay even longer. Does anyone have any experience they could share?

Would it be impossible to take DD with you? I'm sure she'll be fine with Dad and big sister but will you be OK being so far away from your baby and trying to cope with a post-operative mum solo?

If dh is there, it will be fine. She will be in her own house, with her own things, and with familiar people. She will be fine. you, however, will be a fruitcake, missing her and worried about your mum.

Dh got blown up when dd1 was tiny, and I left her with her childminder (in theory for a couple of hours) when I went to collect him from the hospital. He ended up being aeromedded to a specialist hospital in a city two and a half hours away, and they weren't sure he was going to make it. So I had to call the childminder from the second hospital and ask her to keep dd1 as I didn't know when I was coming home, and no children under 12 were allowed on the neuro wards.

She was fine, I was fine, the cm was fine, and (ultimately) dh was fine. I trusted the cm and she was amazing, as she understood the severity of the situation, she looked after dd as though she was her own.

Honestly, it will all be ok. And dd won't even remember it. you will.

10-14 days is nothing, a mere blip. There is no way on this sweet earth you want to fly long haul on your own with a 6mo, and try to get them through jet lag, just in time to bring them home, whilst you are trying to concentrate on a post- op mum.

That way madness lies. I flew long haul alone with my own tinies and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy if they didn't have support for themselves and the baby at either end.

I agree, as she will be in her own home, with her dad and sister and a nanny she already has an attachment too she will be totally fine - it will be you who will be missing her horribly. It's not like you're going off on a jolly, or even putting your career before your child on a long work assignment, you're doing something you have to do, so don't feel more guilty than you can help!

Good luck!

My first thought was to take her with me, but I think it's going to be a really rough recovery for my mom (she's 72), so I feel I should focus on her as best I can. She also lives on her own in an area I don't know at all and one where you have to drive absolutely everywherei.e. no sidewalks, so not even possible to pop out with a buggy for walk. To be honest, I think it would be much more stressful for everyone concerned if I took DD. But god I just hate the idea of leaving her for that long. She's just entered a phase of separation anxiety and often cries when I leave the room!

Can you remember anything from being 6mths old?? No?? Tis will be harder on you than her. You are not swanning off on holiday you are going to support your mum when she really needs you most - your dd would want to do the same if it came to it I'm sure. She is more than provided for - I would go - take a deep breath and put your logical head on and give your mum some tlc. You don't get medals for 'perfect mum' - you do what you have to and your mum needs you more than dd over these days. X