I have no control over my toddler and no idea how to fix it.

[AlanMoore]

She doesn't do anything I ask/tell her unless she feels like it. I have just got to the point of screaming at her to get down off a cupboard as she was going to hurt herself and she still wouldn't do it - I can't physically move her as recovering from CS (DP had to get out of bed and remover her).

I am reading Positive Parenting which is all very nice so far but as yet has just told me what not to do. I need her to do as I say or she's going to get hurt - I really don't see how I am going to manage with both of them on my own as she has to be physically moved away from something about every 10 minutes just now.

She gets plenty of attention, we were watching cartoons in bed together and it was all lovely until I tried to change her nappy (which was leaking!), I asked her to come downstairs and that was it, full on sass, you would think the kid was 12 not 2.

This started a few months ago but I just kidded myself it was cos I was knackered from being pg. Maybe it was but the damage is done :( it is just me, she listens to her GPs and I asked her key worker at nursery for some advice but they don't see this kind of behaviour, she is fine for them.

Should have said, she is only 25m so very little still, don't think reward charts etc would work just yet as she can't grasp the concept of "in ten minutes" never mind all day, all week etc.

hmm, difficult this - DS was 21m when DD was born by CS also. I ended up doing a lot of distracting with other things and he watched (and still does) watch a lot of TV to keep him safe and contained while I dealt with DD. He is now starting to respond to "do x before I count to 3 or..." but he's nearly 3 now. With him, although he likes stickers, he didn;t really get the concept of them as rewards but he does with food. Any kind of sweet, cake or biscuit would usually get him to do what I needed him to do if all else had failed. Its a bit rubbish but you have to do what works at this point. Congrats on the newborn and good luck (oh, and get a double buggy if you haven't already - completely invaluable!)

Thank you! She is fine about feeding/changing baby and likes "helping", she is just one of those toddlers that runs about like a loon and climbs. We have been using sweeties as bribes to get through the immediate transition but it's over a fortnight now and I'm starting to worry she'll end up a fat toothless tyrant :) have a tAndem buggy, she's a bolter as well so knew itd be essential! I have told her if she does as we ask this morning she can have cake with her friend later, so far it seems to be doing the trick! X

I agree 2 is too young for star charts etc.
Avoidance and distraction.
Avoid situations you know will be a trigger and use your imagination to distract her when you see things going wrong.
It's not a long term solution but will tide you over until you are feeling stronger. The trouble with sweetie bribes is that you will end up having to bribe her for everything.