Routine and colic

[rainewickham]

Hi, I have an 8 week old baby, this is our first baby, she struggles with lots of wind and colic, so in the afternoon and evening it can be a nightmare with crying. We use dentinox and Dr Browns bottles and colic massage. My problem is her routine, I am trying to get her down for 7 she is mixed fed and has formula in the evening, we get her changed and have bottle then bed, but she rarely settles and screams until 10pm most nights which is tiring, once down sleeps pretty good most nights, wakes at 7ish but then sleeps in the morning very soundly. I think maybe she just has her day and night a bit out of sink but I am unsure?? Also if we bring her downstairs and put her on the changing mat she can stop crying.

Any suggestions on a good routine and how I can improve?
Also she only seems to settle when I breastfeed and I want to stop soon so am trying different ways to get her to sleep, she is unable to put herself to sleep we have to rock or feed her. We have tried a soother but she will not take one, lthough I never liked them it would help as she definatley likes to suck especially when she has wind. All the advice I have read about sleeping is based on older babies but i'd like to get her into good habits now if its possible??

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Thank you.

Hi, now some people love it and some people hate it but being a new mum 10 months ago I hadn't a clue. I was bought a Gina Ford book by my brother while pregnant. He nor I knew the whole stigma that comes with her but personally I thought she was a god send!

We live 3.5hrs away from family so totally alone, and this book was fab for us.
I didn't follow everything to the letter but I used the feed times and nap times and didn't suffer colic. My son had occasional wind when born, but once I started bot

both not demand feeding and got him in a sleep routine from 3 weeks, it was a doddle.

It may not be for you but I have the most perfect, smiley 10 month old who I wouldn't wish was any different :)

I think you have v high expectations for an 8 week old!!!

If your baby has colic they won't settle

They grow out of it in time

You have to ride the storm out as best you can

Feed/jiggle/rock whatever

Most babies grow out of colic by 12 weeks or so - you're probably over the worst

loulou not necessarily. My son was started at 3 weeks and by 12 weeks he was sleeping 7-7! We went on holiday and he started waking at 5 for a feed but by 4 months he was back sleeping 7-7, and mostly now sleeps 7-8 with 2 naps in the day. I don't think it's too early to start trying to get a bit of a routine going.
Babies are not robots, but they can only learn from you x

Congratulations on your new baby

At 8 weeks I'm sure dd3 was sleeping around 10 till 5/6am. I think that's pretty good as technically your dd is sleeping through most nights if she is settling for 10pm then sleeping till around 7am. If you got her to settle at 7pm the chances are she would revert to waking at 3am for a feed. If she is sleeping that 8 or 9 hours without a feed you could try moving her bedtime back 10 mins every second night so that by the time she is 12 weeks she will be going to bed around 7/730pm. No point stressing you and dd out by trying to put her down at 7 if she's colicky. The early evening is the worst/sorest time for colic so think you may have to just let her stay up till she's past the colic stage. Usually around 12 weeks so you're nearly there.

Our DD was colicky and we found that a warm bath in a tummy tub was a good way to calm her down in the evening and release some wind. She usually pooed in the bath. We then followed the bath with a good tummy massage.

It's very hard work, emotionally exhausting. If I could offer any further advice it would be to a) make sure you get support from your OH and b) give each other a break from it (just go and walk around the block) so you don't take it out on each other or get resentful of the baby. Even better if you have a willing grandmother to take a turn one night a week.

Just do whatever works to survive this stage.

Also agree with KLOU it's never too soon to start a routine. We had twins 1st and were all over the place. Never got them in a proper routine till they were around 4 or 5 months and even then it was only because I physically couldn't function on the amount of sleep I was getting and dh works away from home. I still remember phoning my mum at 3am cause one of twins had been crying non stop since 8pm. I think I wore the carpet out with pacing up and down jiggling her. She came rushing round like supernanny and had her fed, cleaned and sleeping within about 20 minutes. DD and I had obviously just stressed each other out

With dd3 she was trained in a routine from virtually day 1 as I couldn't have gone through all that again

My 22 mo dd was a great sleeper from 5 weeks but didn't suffer from colic. My ds suffered from colic horribly - he has just got passed it at 10 weeks old. My advice is to wait for the colic to pass before trying a routine. If they are in pain you just need to be there for them whatever they need whatever the time. It will pass eventually, hopefully soon. For us it was a case of over a 3 day period he went from awfully colicy (sp?) to a happy sleeper at bedtime. Now he goes down at 8pm and wakes for a feed anytime between 3-5.30.

Good luck - its not easy at all but worth every minute :)

Gina Ford insists that all colic is down to not following the right routine wrt feeding (& everything else).
I don't believe a word of it either, and trying to follow GF would make me suicidal, but she does seem to have the right advice for some.

Your doing very well in that she sleeps from 10pm to 7am.

My second baby is now 9 weeks and sleeps from 7-7, his sister slept through from 10 weeks and I put this down to routine, luck and pushing feeds during day aiming to night wean.

With both babies though I found their most unsettled time was in the evening like yourself. I did not want to form sleep associations (can't believe I'm typing this on Mumsnet, so goes against the norm!). I have found with my DS during this unsettled time to sit quietly next to him in his cot has re-assurred him. Stroking his head and singing lullabies. Gina Ford has a method of settling down for the night of holding baby close to you, then turn them away from you slightly and when they settle rouse them a little bit before you place them in their cot.

Other than that I think you just keep returning to settle as it is a difficult time for them I think its referred to as the "witching hour". Its harder to see with the first baby that this quickly gets better.

Anyway I'm sure someone will be along to say I'm the devil incarnate and don't you realise your baby is ONLY LITTLE!! She needs you and have you considered co-sleeping?

It is completely normal for an 8 week old BF baby to be awake in the evenings (actually, also a bottle-fed baby too).

Until 12-16 weeks they are primed to cluster feed in the evening - an earlier bedtime develops further down the line often with no intervention. If she is sleeping through you are blessed and I wouldn't be doing anything to upset the apple cart .

Just a quick GF question...I read bits of her book....how the hell can you take all that in, on board and then implement...when you have a newborn??

I got about five pages in and went 'aaaaaarrrrrgh'.

oh yeah- and OP, my 8 week old sleeps 10-3:30am so count your blessings :o

Arthur I read the book before baby came and didn't really use it til 3 weeks old. I wrote my own routine down, yes it was a bit of a mare at first but totally worth it.
Once I knew where I was, my mind wasn't all over the place and I started to enjoy my newborn rather than sit there and pull my hair out as to what to do.

I think having someone on hand to help (even if it is a book) and having something to refer to totally helped me and my husband.
Our little fella is so good, but I will never really know if it was the book or if he was going to be good anyway until number 2 comes along and I use it again.
I think as long as you use some sort of structure to your day, you know where you are and baby knows where s/he is. Whether you use a book or just structure something yourself, I do believe routine in some way shape or form is key to your sanity and enjoying your baby :)

I have to say I think you are lucky having an 8w old sleeping from 10-7. My 9m old is awful and up several times a night.
He also had colic which would kick in at 10pm every night and he would scream for about 3 hours before passing out exhausted. We found Gripe water helped and lying him on back whilst massaging his back (hands under him) but really not much helped till it passed at 3months so you may have to ride it out I'm afraid. Is good if you can take turns (DH used to get too stressed so was no help) and sometimes turning them round like you are feeding from other side seemed to make DS more relaxed.