Playdates-what do you do when they don't want to play?

[Molehillmountain]

This might just be a problem I face but often when dd has someone to play they don't want to play together. I often think they're all too tired to do much straight after school but it feels wrong to put the telly on. Dd seems to want to reclaim her space after a day at school and isn't that keen to share her toys (at six!) so I put out craft stuff and neutral toys but that often doesn't work. And yet she wants to have people over - or at least accepts that you have to do that if you want to go to other peoples houses. The only shared game is "how screechy and giggly can we be?" and "can we get as high as kites and be very silly". Do I just go with it, take them to the park instead or just refuse to do it at all? Any suggestions for making the whole thing better?

I'd stop the playdates for a while if it happens each time someone comes round.

Hi hex! Feel I'm going round in circles worrying about dd and her friendships. I think you're right but it seems catch 22-want her to cement friendships but playdates on week nights don't seem to work too well.

I think the problem is they get so tired after school that is brings out their ratty side doesn't it? My DD2 often argues with her friends when they come round or refuses to compromise on games,then the other day she and her friend both sat there in tears because they were talking about our dead cat! Arrrggghh. I find it so stressful when the kids have friends round!

I wonder whether the park might be a better plan? They tend to head upstairs for dd's room which is tiny. I'd go a bit strange entertaining in such a small space. Aaargh- i need a break from it all-I find it exhausting and anxiety inducing. Not just me who doesn't love having kids round? I find myself posting this sort of thing fairly regularly to remind myself I'm not alone.

noooo, you're definitely not alone. I find my own kids hard enough to deal with at times let alone someone else's little darling too. I tell myself that the kids socialise at school and parties and that's all they need

You are not alone. DD (7) has one dream of a friend and they run off together the moment they get through the door and only reappear briefly for snacks. They make up the most amazing imaginative games and have loads of fun.

However he is definitely the exception and I haven't let her have any other friends over for a while because of this problem. One of her friends follows me around and talks to me instead of her and I am reluctant to have him back. He always wants to go home after a while and I have to intervene constantly.

So its just the one little boy for now until they get a bit older.

Another thing that happens is that dd gets completely over excited. Sometimes the other child does too, sometimes not but I end up getting cross with dd as she gets unable to listen to reason. Not just me? I am stupid really as we have a nice family across the road who dd and ds okay really nicely with about once a week and the mum and I have a cuppa. I also dont feel too embarrassed as her perfectly lovely children have their moments too. And yet I persist down the "playdates are the route to friendship" path despite my other thread this week that would suggest that's flawed . I want the manual I was promised for all this....