Fussy eaters age 8 and 3! Help!

[HexagonalQueenOfTheSummer]

I have 3 DCs age 14, 8 and 3. The 14 year old is a fantastic eater and eats anything and everything, and is always happy to try new tastes. The 8 year old is very fussy, despite being weaned on home cooked food and my 3 year old DS, who was also weaned on home cooked meals, is copying her and very fussy too.

The 8 year old (DD2) won't really eat any family meals except for things like chicken nuggets, macaroni cheese and pasta in a tomato based sauce. She will occasionally eat a lentil casserole but even that is hit and miss with her now. She will eat sandwiches but only with ham, jam or marmite, some fruit, some veg and then all the usual snacky things that kids like (which I do limit). So lunchtimes aren't particularly a problem, but family tea times are getting very difficult. She seems to constantly start disliking new foods. I make a home made leek and potato soup which she's always quite liked, but now she hates that too. She has also started disliking bananas. And eggs. I could go on and on and on. She sits there nibbling away at her meal grumpily unless it's one of her favourite foods. If she doesn't have a good attempt at eating her main meal she is only allowed 2 little Sainsburys basics fromage frais for pudding and maybe once slice of toast later before bed, but if she eats it then she is allowed a lolly or something else that's more of a treat but she doesn't seem bothered even though she loves food. She is just very stubborn.

And now DS is getting exactly the same, copying DD at every meal, although he will eat slightly more things than her, for example he will eat things like hummous with pepper sticks and breadsticks to dip into it, his range of food he likes isn't very big either. I do the same thing with him with regards to pudding.

I really don't know what to do as it's getting so difficult and DD in particular won't eat anything and I end up stressing about what to cook so that she will eat something. But everything is just met with that 'look'. I thought it was a phase but I feel at her age she needs to start eating proper meals and being more willing to try things, but where to start. Do I just dish up a meal each night and it's basically 'eat this or go hungry'? I don't like the idea of her going to bed hungry as she does normally have a big appetite.

Any tips would be greatly appreciated, thanks

Don't know the answer but am watching with interest. I have 9yo and 4yo fussy eaters so the same story here - and a 19yo who'll eat anything and pretty much always has! I have been recommended a book which I've just ordered from the local library Taste Matters

My 9yo:

• now refuses to eat mince (she swears it's nothing anyone said, I did wonder as I remember being told at school it was made of ears and eyeballs!)
• doesn't eat anything spicy (despite eating medium hot curries as a toddler)
• won't eat cooked tomatoes any more, sliced or in sauce

My 4yo:

• breakfast: fine - cereal, toast or porridge plus fruit/fruit juice
• lunch: will only eat Marmite or Nutella sandwiches (so when starts school will be just Marmite), plus a Frube, a piece of cheese, some fruit, a Pepperami (I know, disgusting processed crap that stinks but when you have a 19yo who buys them it's inevitable they will end up liking the worst food possible!)
• dinner: rotation of chicken nuggets, sausages, pepperoni pizza, roast dinner. She will eat vegetables and the meat, some chips, no other forms of potato (occasionally she'll forget and try one of the roasties)

Both the kids will eat fruit.

So on balance the food groups are there, but not much iron (I occasionally give her a spoon of Minadex tonic). I just get so depressed at cooking what I consider crap/boring food for the kids. They get to see us eat other stuff and are always offered some, but the 4yo refuses to touch it and the 9 yo will almost always take one taste and say, "yuk".

its so difficult isnt it...

have you tried explaining to DD2 that the younger one is copying what she does at mealtimes ... I explained this to DS1 ( who can be very fussy) and now he doesnt do any more amateur dramatics when he tries new food. He does take all his older brother responsibility seriously though

I tried making a pasta in a pea sauce ( hugh fernly whittingstall veggie one) for them yesterday..... DS1 refused it but with very little dramatics and had some toast later when the others were in bed.... DS2 age 5 ate it and DS3 age 2 at first said "no yucky" ( he is only eating beige food at the moment).... but when I told him I didnt have any plain pasta he tried it and ate about half.

No easy answer. I just keep serving it up and trying not to take it to heart when they dont eat it

Housemum - my 5 year old sounds exactly like your 4 year old, pretty much down to the foods he eats too. I dont have any answers but always good to know we are not alone. I get fed up of hearing from other mums what their children have had to eat!

I have 5dc. Over the last 23 years i have been driven mad my children's fussy eating habits...

I decided enough was enough about a month ago. I make dinner, they eat it or they don't, I don't make anything i know they really hate & i make sure they all get a dinner they love once a week. Afterwards, only fruit, no yogurts, cereal etc.

So much food was being wasted before. My 10 yr old dd started to put a lot of weight on, as she ate hardly any dinner but looked for yogurts etc every evening.

So far, i've had a lot of moaning but they are eating better, not everything but considerably better.