Son very frightened by much older boy, WWYD?

[Orchidlady]

Would like some outside perspective on this please. DS (12)went to village youth club night, I was pleased he wanted to go as has been quite shy in the past, we live outside the village so he needs make an effort to get out there and join iyswim. Anyway suddenly came back early and was absolutely hysterical. A much older boy I think he is 16 and size of a large grown man had chased him home threatening to kill him/beat him up not sure exactly what was said. Trouble is we know this boy, has learning difficulties also mother not approachable . DS wanted to DP to go down and speak to youth leader and sort things out but he thought was a bad idea. Now in a quandary, am I being over protected, should I let things ride or try and speak to boy and mother?? Sad thing is DS has only started to go down to the village and making friends but this boy lives on the estate so think he will not be too scared.

Your son asked his father for help but he refused? Blimey!

I would definitely speak to the youth club leader and I'd hide behind a tree or something to watch my kid walk home so that I could intervene if this happens again.

Why should your lad be intimidated in this way? The adults should intervene as he's been brave enough to ask for support.

Absolutely speak to the youth club leader about it. Learning difficulties is no excuse for scaring the crap out of a little kid and being aggressive. Then offer to collect DS from the youth club when he goes next time. Does your DP think a young boy should 'man up' or something stupid?

DP thought going down there would cause problems. This kid is a horror he is known to be a bully, trouble is now he is huge and not stable. To be fair DP certainly did not think he should "man up". When DS was calmed down he was told by us both not to feel ashamed about being frightened of him, DS suddenly became full of bravado, bless him.

Huge, unstable, known bullies shouldn't be within a mile of a youth club.

Sounds like your DS isn't the only one who feels bullied by this lad. Next time why not accompany your DS to and from and have a little word with the leader, discreetly, so that your DS always feels like someone is watching out for him.

The consensus here seems to be have a word with the youth leader which I am going to do. I can pick him up but so wants to be independent and not going home with mum. Would any of any of you try to speak with mother and boy. I have noy met her but I hear she is a nasty piece of work but thought I could try my logic and reasoning in her!

Just had a call to say he has been put on report for silly distruptive behaviour , not really sure what that means! oh dear!

I don't think you speak to mother and boy if they're nasty. If this young man (at 16 he's not really a boy) chased him home, however, you can always talk to your local community support officers and have them make a call. I firmly believe that this kind of incident should be logged. 'Everyone knowing' that someone was a troublemaker is no use when it's your kid lying in a pool of blood.