It's so hard when your OH doesn't click with the baby and has a bit of an extended toddler moment themselves. I'll tell you my tale in the hope it helps you know you're not alone and maybe give you some hope, but first and foremost you have my huge sympathy, at that stage I had started to wish I was a single parent.
My DH never really wanted kids, but we sat down and had the chat before we got married and we both agreed to kids a few years down the line (already past 30 when married and he was 37 so not young). The few years past and after a bit of pushing started ttc and were very fortunate to conceive first try. My DH ignored the pregnancy as much as possible, gave me no consideration for being exhausted and was generally behaving like a spoiled brat who'd had his favourite toy taken away. I was seriously worried but everyone told me how much hed'd love DS as soon as he arrived. But he didn't.
Got home from hospital and he told me he felt nothing for DS. That was almost more than I could bear at that stage. Told him to try until he felt something, or leave, surprisingly calmly actually.
First 3 months horrific. DS was a non-sleeper, waking every 30 mins to an hour to feed. DH refused to help at all (and i mean nothing - no night duties, no nappies, no walks, no food/drinks/clearing up for me) and in fact made things harder by creating mess, sulking and whinging. Would have been easier alone, but I was too exhausted to find the energy to leave or battle it and really didn't want my son to grow up in a single parent family. I used to wait til DS was having a good moment and then put him on DH for a quick cuddle.
By 3 months he would occasionally ask for a cuddle. By 6 months he was engaging with my DS for play. By a year he was helping loads during the day and doing bath duties at night and it was very clear there was a strong bond developing. My DS is now just 2 and DH takes a day off a week to look after him, is helping with our current night issues (just moved to big boy bed), adores DS and at Christmas announced out of the blue that he'd really like another and to do it right this time, that he regrets being an arse so much.
Now, I'm not saying I was right to put up with all that, and I'm sure lots of people would flame me for it. But I was getting 2-4 hours broken sleep a night and could barely find the energy to breathe, never mind get a divorce. My DH is inherently a bit selfish but he has lots of wonderful qualities too and I think it just took a long time for him to see the benefits of DS being around and didn't have that hormonal rush of love I had. It could have gone the other way, and if I hadn't seen any improvement I'd have kicked him out.
I have no doubt that DH would now walk over hot coals for my DS and really loves spending time with him. We have never been stronger but it took me a very long time to forgive him.
So it can work out, it can be as wonderful as you hoped. Or maybe reading this you'll think your DP isn't that bad!! Hang on in there and try as much as you can to try to enjoy your baby. FWIW I would advise encouraging physical contact between your DP and baby, skin to skin if he will, but don't push it, let him come round in his own time. A lot of men do seem to bond properly once the baby can give something back (smiles, laughs etc) it's just most support their partner whilst waiting for the bond! Bath time, with dp in the bath cuddling baby is very helpful. Get help elsewhere if you can, from parents or friends. Get out to groups and talk to a trusted friend about what an arse he's being, it'll help.
Very best of luck.