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Really need help/ideas on how to cope with son

4 replies

littlemissangrypants · 12/06/2012 21:06

Sorry about this but i really need to vent somewhere. Really struggling with my 12 year old son. He is such hard work and i sometimes wonder where i went wrong.
He is very intelligent and pretty grown up for his age. Basically he acts a lot older. Always has. He had the terrible two's at age . He is becoming very aggressive and lazy. There are problems at school. He is being bullied. I am trying to sort it out but school seem unable to help.
His father and i split up over a year ago which has not helped the situation. His dad sees him a few times a week but they don't get on much. The father has a cannabis habit and is not exactly a good role model. They argue a lot. I get very little support from him.
I have a new partner but don't live with him. Son likes my new partner a lot so i don't think that is why he is such hard work at moment. Anyway what kicked it all off tonight was that my son has not flushed the toilet again. His school things are still blocking the front door. He has not tidied his room and refused to help with washing up. He wont even have a shower.
I just don't know what to do with him at all anymore. I try to understand him but i just can't. I guess what i want is some ideas on how to get my boy to help more. He has always been such a good boy. Helpful and kind. I have a heart condition so have been pretty ill at times over last 6 years so i guess he had no choice but to grow up.
There is no family around and i feel like i'm the only one who can fix this. I feel totally out of my depth. i'm only 30. Had him when i was very young. I think i was a fairly good mum until now but i just feel so lost right now. I hope someone can tell it does get better.
Sorry for the lenght of this moan but i think i needed it. Please go easy if you can , i'm feeling pretty rubbish already

OP posts:
Rabbitee · 12/06/2012 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

cybbo · 12/06/2012 21:34
  1. Buy this book from Amazon "Get out of my life, but first take me and Alex into town"
  1. Read it
  1. Thank me later
littlemissangrypants · 12/06/2012 22:20

Thank you will get that book. I have talked to him a few times but we don't seem to speak the same language. It has helped a lot being able to get it off my chest tonight

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cybbo · 12/06/2012 22:53

you don't speak the same language, and y probably won't for the next few years! that book really is great at giving strategies for getting more compliance from teens and how to talk to them and get better results

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