Friend annoyed that I told my 9year old about birds and bees.

[howlingcow]

This weekend I told my 9year old DD the facts of life. We were watching Mamma Mia and she asked why the girl didn't know which was her father. She's a sensible girl who's interested in scientific stuff so I knew she could handle it, I also told her not to tell any of her friends as each parent decides when and how to broach the subject for the first time. Today when I told one of my closest friends whose DD is the same age as mine, she was really annoyed and kept stressing how much she hoped my DD wouldn't tell hers as she thinks she's too young-she even suggested mine might try it out now I've told her about it! Am I right to feel fed-up about this?

Not at all BU. 9 is surely a good age to start, some girls have started their periods by then!

Your friend sounds very odd.

she sounds bonkers!

ignore her, she can stick her head in the sand re sex ed but she can't expect you not to tell your DD

FWIW, out of the girls I grew up with, the ones who got told the least at home had the most underage sex so I don't think that you taking away some of the mystery for your DD is gonna make her more likely to go out and find out for herself!

9 is absolutely old enough for a factual chat about it, gosh some girls start their periods at nine don't they?

I'm amazed any nine year old doesn't already know (at least a version of events from the playground).
It's perfectly fine to tell any child who asks.

Think the friend is being a tad silly.

"she might try it out now she knows about it" at 9!!! What a loon

YANBU. Your friend has some peculiar ideas. Personally I think it's best to talk about sex and the facts of life when the subject matter arises naturally, rather than ignore the blooming obvious and refuse to answer reasonable questions.

Your friend is an idiot

I would be very surprised if a 9 yr old had heard nothing about how babies are made. Your friend sounds odd...

Lots of girls start their periods around age 9 - it's best they know about this stuff.

Thanks everyone...feel less stressed already after reading your replies xx

YANBU at all!

It has absolutely fuck all to do with your friend anyway.

Besides, sounds as if your DD may do her a favour telling her (if she does) rather than leaving her in the dark.

No-one gets pregnant from too much sex education too soon, but from too little too late.

Yanbu, I have been telling ds age appropriate stuff whenever he asks which started when he was three and I was pg with his sister.

We did have a lovley conversation with mil though when he was about four it went like this

ds- nana, I know how babies are made

mil- really dear

ds- yes, I know how you and grandad made daddy

mil- really?

ds- yes, grandad got his willy and put in it your mouth, you ate all his seeds and then daddy grew in your tummy......

me - nooooooo, nooooo, ds, that's not quite right, remember we said.......

ds - nana ate grandads seeds, nana ate grandads seeds etc.

Silly woman. Much better they have their introductory chat when they have the rational, scientific mindset of a 9 year old rather than leaving it till the irrationality of hormones have set in!

Why on earth is she annoyed with you? You considerately told your DD not to discuss it with her friends.

9 year olds would possibly be in Yr5=they are certainly going to get some fairly graphic sex ed fairly soon if your school is anything like ours!

perfect nn for that anecdote?

Love that story Gobblers!!! When I told her the only possible way of getting the seed to the egg she asked me if the man and the woman have to go to the hospital to do it!!! Actually felt like quite a nice bonding experience discussing it with her and like you say Grimma...better than waiting for hormones to kick in when the only response you'll get is 'COURSE I know...just shut up!!!!!'

I was told they need to learn in about yr 5, because much later and they don't listen to a word we say and are more likely to end up experimenting in a possibly inappropriate/unsafe way.

And yes snice the Yr6 video was amazingly graphic!

It's a great age for it if she didn't know already, many girls have started puberty at 9 and I'm a firm believer that if they are old enough to ask then they are old enough to know.

My dd's school are 'doing' sex ed this term with the Y4s so they clearly think it's fine too.

I think what you did is perfectly appropriate.

I think I will base my dcs future sex education around Mamma Mia. Dd1 who is 5 is already asking what "dot dot dot" means. What is the correct response to this?!

Oh dear my daughter is age 4 and I've already bought a book called "mummy laid an egg" as she was asking questions. It's basic but enough information to stop the questions. I still didn't have a clue at age 11 Which was not good.

9? Is she having a laugh? Quite late IMO, though it amazes me how few questions ds asks about it all (he's 8) - we do have to make an effort to bring it up.

I sometimes wish all parents got a tshirt saying 'Children Do Not Grow Up In A Vacuum (and a good thing too)'.

My parents never told me and I so wish they had-I'm sure I would have opened up to them more. Think my friend (despite coming across as fashionable and cool) is actually deeply old-fashioned and I question whether she will tell her kids anything or simply allow them to learn at school.

My dd is almost 7 and there are definitely whispers in the playground, I'd rather she knew the actual facts Although when I had her youngest sister just over a year ago, a few of my friends were a bit that when she asked how a baby came out - I told her. Apparently I should have fudged the issue a bit, not much of a chance when she kept asking - usually loudly in a supermarket queue!