I don't have a naughty corner or step or do charts or, well, anything really. Am I rearing future Brat Camp attendees?

[Enif]

I am quite ad hoc with disciplining my two girls (6 and 3). The 6 year old is generally very good but the 3 year old can be a bit wild. I tend to think that it is just a phase and let her get on with it. Am I storing up problems for the future?

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I have a three year old dd that sounds like that. I personally do not use any of those methods either.I thought about them but I have a very head strong little girl. I have told her that I will take a toy or all her toys away and she says good as she doesn't want them anymore. She told me last night that I can sell her bed if I like as she doesn't like it and would rather sleep with her older brother.
I too am hoping that she will grow out of it as nothing seems to work.The only time she stays at my side is if we are out is if I tell her there is a dog. She hates them. Its mean but but sometimes necessary.

Oh yes, without a doubt, up if front of Cod soon I should think.

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We never had to use a norty corner for ds and charts were to record extra good behaviour rather than correct persistent misdemeanour.
Dd sends herself to hers already and her knowing cackle echoes round the house...I think we should send our two younger ones to toddler boot camp enif

Think you just need to be consistent and follow through with discipline. Am trying to instill thin into DP who is a complete soft-lad when it comes to DDs.

What do you do if she refuses to do as asked? (reasonable request obviously!) Or does something really unacceptable?
I try not to use time out except as a last resort - and often more as a way of de-escalating a confrontation (if I am about to lose it ) than anything else. I sometimes do find it useful to have a consequence to state when up against a brick wall of refusal, but usually I find that counting to 3 brings the desired result...
But I do think that sometimes it would be better if I were better at using creative distraction or somesuch - definitely don't see it as a good thing if I end up using it.

my dd2 cries a lot and fibs to get her own way.
dd1 is moody and has a shouting match when she is tired. I only have to give her a cuddle though and she is fine. I do say things like 'well if you do that you don't get to do that'.

dd2 is also incredibly bossy, but I don't believe you can discipline that at 3 unless it becomes a real problem - as it is I say I don't do anything unless there is a please and thank you attached.

worried now she is going to end up hitting a man in a field in Utah

erm I cant think of anything

how about in the morning when she sits at the breakfast table and cries and says she doesnt want any breakfast? (the most annoying thing she does IMO) or she wants to be carried and I refuse so she flings herself to the ground and cries.

The breakfast thing I say calm down, if you carry on crying you will have to go back up to bed. She does eventually but only after dd1 has shouted 'Shut UP dd2'

the flinging I ignore and walk off

there are loads of ways to discipline
not just the naughty step or whatever
not everybody does it that way
it really annoys me when the people who choose to smack, for example, think that smacking in the ONLY way to discipline
arrogant, imho
from what you post about your girls, Enid, I reckon that your disapproval/disappointment is the key

imagine this post thirty years ago
"I don't whack my children with a stick. are they going to grow up delinquent?"

I think you'd be using them if you needed to wopuldn't you Enid?

We do 'sitting on the stairs' for ds (nearly 6) and dd (3) has had a few times there too. It's not seen as a punishment really, more a time out to calm down. Like your dd she does a lot of crying to get her own way. My main issue with her at the moment is seeing the consequences of what she does and accepting she's Done A Bad Thing - she hates being told off and goes storming off upstairs - she's a champion huffer.

DD has a sticker chart for good behaviour which is working well and DS gets pocket money linked to being good and helpful around the house - 10p a day and money does get deducted for bad behaviour.

yes harpsi that is very very true

I think they seek my approval and if I don't give it then they comply

quite a horrible position of responsibility to be in - what if I have an off day they'll end up with complexes for life.

or what if I died ?

god they'd go completely off the rails

panic!

Well if she doesn't do things that are naughty, she can hardly be called 'a bit wild'....
seems you don't have a problem really. agree also that there are many ways of doing it - don't think I've necessarily got it right!!
Also think that ds1 (4) is now getting to an age where more subtle consequences can be understood, while ds2 (2) is still a bit young - has had one or two time outs I think, both for deliberate hitting.

I told mine i was going to spend the weekend in a hotel if they didn't get dressed thsi morning. It worked, but was it scarring?

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yes maybe I dont really have a problem
will shut up

I reckon if you needed to you would have instituted one by now! My DS is and was truly "wild" and IMO the main reason for time out is to avoid me going completely nuts at him. Your children sound like angels in comparison!

yes think you are right

will come back for advice when new baby turns out to be a wilful boy who cares not a jot about mummys approval

You mean you don't dicipline them like
this ?

I don't do naughty corners or charts but do teach consequences to actions. Just think of dicipline, not as punishment, but teaching if that helps. (although the day will come when they look you square in the eye and say "make me",. It will be a test and do not lose) Remember, children crave rules and limits and it is your job to set them, it doesn't have to be harsh. My son's teacher will explain things all day if she has to to get the kids to comply, but the key is, she will get compliance. Myself, I am not as patient but I will give at least one explaination of why they can't throw evey toy they own all over the room. If they continue, I stand there until they clean everything up. That's a consequence, you made the mess, you clean the mess. and remember consistency, consistency, consistency or you will just confuse and frustrate your kids.

I think as long as your children actually are disciplined in a way that works for you, then it doesn't matter what form of discipine you use. I do believe that children need to learn at a young age that there are consequences to actions, but what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. The point you will end up raising delinquants is when you don't discipline them at all. I remember vividly watching "child of our time" a few years ago, and seeing triplets on there, the family already had three kids and she fell pregnant with triplets, naturally (nightmare), at the time of this programme the triplets were 2, and I remember the parents talking about them and saying "we don't believe in discipline, childhood is a time for freedom". And, needless to say, those triplets were the most horrible little brats imagineable. and, whether it was connected or not, but none of them could do most things that they should have been doing for their age, apart from one who could string together a 3 word sentence which was "go away, bitch".